Self Sacrifice
by Green Ribbon
Summary: What if Mr Bennet is gravely ill, to save her family, Elizabeth decides she has to marry Mr Collins. How will Mr Darcy react? Will Jane stand by and let her sister marry Mr Collins? Will Mrs Bennet let Darcy anywhere near her daughter now she is engaged? AU from The morning after the ball. Chapter 28 is here.
1. Mr Collins's Proposal

What if the Bennets' situation was worse then was generally known? What if to save her family from a life in the poor house, Elizabeth decided she had no other option but to marry Mr Collins. How would Darcy react when he discovers that the woman he is in love with is engaged to another man? And more importantly what will be do about it?

**Chapter I – Mr Collins's Proposal**

The next day opened a new scene at Longbourn. Mr Collins made his declaration in form. Having resolved to do it without loss of time, as his leave of absence extended only to the following Saturday, and having no feelings of diffidence to make it distressing to himself even at the moment, he set about it in a very orderly manner, with all the observances which he supposed a regular part of the business. On finding Mrs. Bennet, Elizabeth, and one of the younger girls together soon after breakfast, he addressed the mother in these words,

"May I hope, Madam, for your interest with your fair daughter Elizabeth, when I solicit for the honour of a private audience with her in the course of this morning?"

Before Elizabeth had time for any thing but a blush of surprise, Mrs Bennet instantly answered,

"Oh dear!—Yes—certainly.—I am sure Lizzy will be very happy—I am sure she can have no objection.—Come, Kitty, I want you up stairs." And gathering her work together, she was hastening away, when Elizabeth called out,

"Dear Ma'am, do not go.—I beg you will not go.—Mr. Collins must excuse me.—He can have nothing to say to me that any body need not hear. I am going away myself."

"No, no, nonsense, Lizzy.—I desire you will stay where you are."—And upon Elizabeth's seeming really, with vexed and embarrassed looks, about to escape, she added, "Lizzy, I _insist_ upon your staying and hearing Mr Collins."

Elizabeth would not oppose such an injunction—and a moment's consideration making her also sensible that it would be wisest to get it over as soon and as quietly as possible, she sat down again, and tried to conceal by incessant employment the feelings which were divided between distress and diversion. Mrs Bennet and Kitty walked off, and as soon as they were gone Mr Collins began.

"Believe me, my dear Miss Elizabeth, that your modesty, so far from doing you any disservice, rather adds to your other perfections. You would have been less amiable in my eyes had there not been this little unwillingness; but allow me to assure you that I have your respected mother's permission for this address. You can hardly doubt the purport of my discourse, however your natural delicacy may lead you to dissemble; my attentions have been too marked to be mistaken. Almost as soon as I entered the house I singled you out as the companion of my future life. But before I am run away with by my feelings on this subject, perhaps it will be advisable for me to state my reasons for marrying—and moreover for coming into Hertfordshire with the design of selecting a wife, as I certainly did."

The idea of Mr Collins, with all his solemn composure, being run away with by his feelings, made Elizabeth so near laughing that she could not use the short pause he allowed in any attempt to stop him farther, and he continued:

"My reasons for marrying are, first, that I think it a right thing for every clergyman in easy circumstances (like myself) to set the example of matrimony in his parish. Secondly, that I am convinced it will add very greatly to my happiness; and thirdly—which perhaps I ought to have mentioned earlier, that it is the particular advice and recommendation of the very noble lady whom I have the honour of calling patroness. Twice has she condescended to give me her opinion (unasked too!) on this subject; and it was but the very Saturday night before I left Hunsford—between our pools at quadrille, while Mrs Jenkinson was arranging Miss de Bourgh's foot-stool, that she said, "Mr Collins, you must marry. A clergyman like you must marry.—Choose properly, choose a gentlewoman for _my_ sake; and for your _own_, let her be an active, useful sort of person, not brought up high, but able to make a small income go a good way. This is my advice. Find such a woman as soon as you can, bring her to Hunsford, and I will visit her.'' Allow me, by the way, to observe, my fair cousin, that I do not reckon the notice and kindness of Lady Catherine de Bourgh as among the least of the advantages in my power to offer. You will find her manners beyond any thing I can describe; and your wit and vivacity I think must be acceptable to her, especially when tempered with the silence and respect which her rank will inevitably excite. Thus much for my general intention in favour of matrimony; it remains to be told why my views were directed to Longbourn instead of my own neighbourhood, where I assure you there are many amiable young women. But the fact is, that being, as I am, to inherit this estate after the death of your honoured father (who, however, may live many years longer), I could not satisfy myself without resolving to choose a wife from among his daughters, that the loss to them might be as little as possible, when the melancholy event takes place—which, however, as I have already said, may not be for several years. This has been my motive, my fair cousin, and I flatter myself it will not sink me in your esteem. And now nothing remains-for me but to assure you in the most animated language of the violence of my affection. To fortune I am perfectly indifferent, and shall make no demand of that nature on your father, since I am well aware that it could not be complied with; and that one thousand pounds in the 4 per cents, which will not be yours till after your mother's decease, is all that you may ever be entitled to. On that head, therefore, I shall be uniformly silent; and you may assure yourself that no ungenerous reproach shall ever pass my lips when we are married."

Time seemed stand still for an instance. Thoughts and emotions rushed through Elizabeth faster then she could begin to comprehend them. The most one she was most certain of was disgust for man in front of her. That he could imagine himself in love with her and that she would return his feels.

She could imagine it all, he would not accept her refusal, no he was not intelligent enough for that, he would merely think she was playing with him. She would be forced to walk away from him, her mother would be angry with her, more angry then she had ever been before, she would try and force her into marrying Mr Collins. Her father would understand, of course he would, he would not force her to do anything that she did not want to do.

Her negative answer was on the tip of her tongue, when something stopped her.

But was that the right thing to do?

She thought of her sisters, oh dear Jane wanting nothing more then to marry for love, Kitty and Lydia would calm down with age and become more sensible and they and Mary deserved the change to try and be happy. Jane was in love with Mr Bingley but who knew how long it would be before they were engaged. She, Elizabeth, had never been in love, by marrying Mr Collins she could ensure that her sisters would be able to live a comfortable life after their father's death. And what was one daughter's happiness, compared with the happiness of all of the rest?

The Bennets had been keeping it very quiet, but Mr Bennet was not well, luckily he did not often go out, but on Sundays to church so most of their acquaintance were not aware of the ill state of his health. His doctor had informed him that he would be lucky to live another twelve-months.

She draw her attention back to Mr Collins only to find that he had continued talking. "- and I think you will find that Lady Catherine has improved my humble abode greatly, in fact I think you will find that -"

"You forget sir that I have yet to give you an answer." She interjected.

He paused, he seemed to have forgotten about that part of the precedings, "Ah, yes." he said looking at her expectantly.

She hesitated, trying to draw strength, she thought again of Jane and her sisters. For their sakes and her mother's she had to, there was no other way. She took a deep breath and prayed to God for strength.

She spoke quietly, "I will marry you Mr Collins."

"My dear Miss Elizabeth, oh cousin," he face went slightly red with pleasure. "I am go glad."

Mr Collins was delighted as was her mother when he broke the news to the rest of the family. She could not contain her joy, "Oh Elizabeth. A daughter married, wait until I tell Lady Lucas." However the rest of the family's reacts were mixed, Mr Bennet was not nearly as pleased as his wife, Jane was confused, Lydia and Kitty were giggling non-stop and Mary was silent.

Lizzy was called into her father study an hour later, after he had had a discussion with Mr Collins. Elizabeth left Mr Collins and Mrs Bennet discussing the details of the wedding without her. She was very relived to get away from them, he had insisted on holding her hand most of the evening and it had reminded her that she would be expected to do more intimate things with him.

"Close the door Lizzy" Her father said from his seat by the fireside. She did has he asked and then went to him, she could see the grief on his tired pale face.

"Lizzy" said he "what are you doing? Are you out of your senses, to be accepting this man. How we not laughed at him and made fun of him from the moment he entered the house?"

"I wish there was another way," She said trying not to cry, "but I cannot see one. My sisters need a home and my mother-" She trailed off unable to finish her sentence.

"I don't think I can give you up to him," he said slowly. "Almost any other man in England, but him" He shook his head, "I should have taken better care of you all. But let me advise you to think better of it. I know your disposition, Lizzy. I know that you could be neither happy nor respectable, unless you truly esteemed your husband; unless you looked up to him as a superior. Your lively talents would place you in the greatest danger in an unequal marriage. You could scarcely escape discredit and misery. My child, let me not have the grief of seeing "you" unable to respect your partner in life. You know not what you are about."

"I cannot see another path, not after-" returned she, "I will be happy in my own way, the grounds around Rosings Park I hear are very fine," she said trying to lighten the mood, realising that it would not be lighten she continued more seriously, "and the knowledge that my sisters will be able to live freely and without shame will make it all worth it. I must be content with my lot in life. I must do everything in my power to see them happy and not allow us to end up on the streets."

His face seemed to grow older as she spoke, he had failed them worse then he would have believed possible, and she had found a solution. He rose unsteadily to his feet, "You are a far better person that I have ever encounter before," kissing her forehead, blinking back the tears that were beginning to choke him up.

Elizabeth knew that she would have a similar conversation with Jane tonight, but she was too emotionally spent, so she excused herself early that evening claiming a headache from all the excitement and went to bed.

She lay in her bed staring at the ceiling for several hours before she cried herself to sleep.

ooOoo

Breakfast was a very strained affair, Mrs Bennet and Mr Collins talked non-stop. Mr Bennet, Elizabeth and Jane were all silent, Kitty and Lydia had begun to get over their giggles but said little, but within half and hour Elizabeth was wishes that they had not stopped giggling as their comments made her blush very deeply. Mary was the only one of the sisters who had congratulated her older sister on her engagement. Jane had walked towards Elizabeth soon after Mary had congratulated her the night before, but had turned away to pick up a book. Elizabeth knew her reason, her eldest sister wanted to speak to her alone.

It had been decided, by Mr Collins and Mrs Bennet that there should be no delay in the marriage taking place. He however would not be able to remain at Longbourn until the happy event took place, he would have to return to Kent to fulfil his duties there and then return for the wedding.

Jane and Elizabeth soon after breakfast declared that they wanted to go for a walk, alone, as they would soon be in different counties to one another, Mr Collins at first had wanted to go with his dearest Elizabeth, she shuddered slightly at the phase, but Mary had remained him that he needed to inform his most noble patroness of his happy news. Jane smiled thanks to Mary. He agreed without pause.

And Jane and Elizabeth were left to their walk. They passed the first few minutes in a strained silence and then at last Jane suddenly exclaimed as she , "My dearest sister, please explain to me why you have engaged yourself to Mr Collins of all people?"

Lizzy sighed, she had dreaded this conversation all night, in a sense it was worse then the one she had had with her father. "I saw no other option." She stopped under a tree and looked back at the house "My father is very ill and will not live much longer," She said in almost a whisper, "and on his death if one is not married Mr Collins, we would have no home, no money to live on, we would have nothing."

Jane protested "but my uncles and aunts -"

"Uncle and Aunt Gardner have four children of their own, they could maybe take on one or two of us, but all six? And Aunt Phillips does not have the space nor the money to take on five young women and their mother."

"But we could have worked something out," Jane began again, "there is work to be had, we could have kept ourselves."

"We are gentlewoman Jane, could you see anyone hiring Kitty or Lydia as a governess to their daughters? Or even Mary for that matter? And what about our dear mother? No this is for the best. You will be able to live your life as you should without fear of what will become of you."

"But you and I could get jobs and support the others" Jane said hopefully.

"And where would the others live? And Mama what about her? You and I could find something, but we would not be able to make enough to support them, and what sort of life would we all have?"

Jane began to protest again, but Lizzy knew she was beginning to see things her way. But she was not at all happy about it.

Just promise me one thing,"

"It depends on what it is?"

"If by some chance I find another solution you will break off the engagement?"

After a lot of convincing Elizabeth agreed to Jane's terms.


	2. The Rules of Engagement

_Author's notes – I do a plan for this story but it is fairly flexible, the way I see it there are at least two ways it could go, firstly Elizabeth could actually marry Mr Collins, which would not be that interesting. Well Let me rephrase, it would be interesting for a while, but there isn't anyway for the story to go, unless Darcy and Elizabeth were to have an affair, which would not be likely however entertaining to write about. The other idea I have had, well lets just say Jane is not planning on letting her sister give up her life and happiness._

_I'm sorry this chapter is not as long as I had planned, I've had a bit of a ruff day. Someone broke into my house around 3 o'clock today, luckily they didn't get very much before the alarm went off, but still it is never fun._

**Chapter II - The Rules of Engagement**

Jane and Elizabeth parted after the entered the house, Elizabeth had the decided feeling that Jane had a plan, what it was she knew not. Jane went straight to Mr Bennet's study, while Mrs Bennet hearing them come home called Elizabeth into the parlour, where she and Mr Collins were still talking and planning.

"My dear cousin, or as I should say my dear Elizabeth," Mr Collins began and then corrected himself as she entered the room taking her by the hand and leading her to a seat by the table. "You have made me the happiest of men." He beamed at her. Her stomach slightly turned, how could she marry him if she could not even stand to have him smile at her like that?

She gave him a very forced smile and then took out some work and sat quietly only half listening to her mother and Mr Collins plan her life. She was idly amused how little input they required from her to do so. She did inquire if he had finished his letter to Lady Catherine de Bourgh, he which he replied that he had not quite done.

About half an hour later Jane and Mr Bennet entered the room, they looked slightly happier then they had before and more determined. Jane took a seat next to Elizabeth, and like her sister she picked up some work and took little interest in the conversation. A glare from Jane told Elizabeth to remain silent.

Mr Bennet walked over to his seat by the fire, as had become his habit since his illness and picked up his newspaper and began to read. They continued thus for a few minutes, the only noise was the discussion between Mrs Bennet and Mr Collins, until Mr Bennet addressed Elizabeth and Mr Collins as he turned the page of his paper.

"We had better have your engagement announced in the newspaper Lizzy, don't you think Mr Collins?" He found the section in the paper he was looking for, Mr Collins was baming, "But there is no rush. I shall write to them next month or so."

Mr Collins's face fell.

"Mr Bennet, but they are to be wed before Michaelmas," his wife declared, "we have already decided all."

"But there can be no rush," Mr Bennet returned, still not looking away from his newspaper.

"My dear sir," Mr Collins interjected, "my noble patroness Lady Catherine de Bourgh advised me in no uncertain terms that I should be married as soon as it possible and since it will not be a large wedding there can be no need to delay the matter, now-"

"I think you misunderstand me." Mr Bennet interrupted, "there is no reason to have such a hurried wedding, there is no reason at all. There is my daughter's reputation to consider in this. A hasty wedding is never a respected marriage and that I cannot permit." He spoke very firmly. "And consider my dear, the wedding clothes" he said turning to his wife.

It was Jane's turn to join the conversation, she spoke first to Mr Collins, "yes nothing respectable to be arranged so quickly, your bishop would not approve of doing otherwise." To Mrs Bennet she said, "we must surely go to London mama, after uncle and aunt Gardner have come to Longbourn for Michaelmas?"

Mr Collins was surprised by the turn of events, but after a moment he agreed that it would be a much better idea to not move quite so fast. Mrs Bennet took a little more convincing. But seeing Mr Collins agreeing to the plan and that her husband and eldest daughter were decided against her in this she had little choice but to agree. In the end she was not happy about the plan, but agreed to it.

Jane smiled at Elizabeth, so this was Jane's plan, time. Yes time might help a little, but Elizabeth was not convinced what would change in a few months? She was relived that Mr Collins would be leaving them in a few days time to go back to Kent. Then she would only have to deal with his letters, which he made no hesitation in promising her would be sent often.

It did not seem that Jane was done, for not long after this had been decided then Mr Bennet invited Mr Collins in his study so that he could have some peace to finish his letter. As her father left the room Elizabeth could see how much older her father looked, but there was also a determination that had not been there before.

Not ten minutes after they had withdrawn The carriage was announce for Jane and Elizabeth. Elizabeth looked around at Hill in surprise when she came to call them. Mrs Bennet was also surprised by this however she was not as quiet in it has her daughter.

"Hill why have you called for the carriage?" She asked.

"Tis for Miss Bennet and Miss Elizabeth ma'am, the master ordered it for them." Hill said looking as confused as Elizabeth felt.

Jane smilingly said "Caroline insisted on making me promise at the call to on her as soon as I could. I mentioned it to my father after Lizzy and I returned this morning."

It seemed that Jane was not done with her plan.

"Oh Netherfield, yes of course you must go." Mrs Bennet was in too much delight to question why Elizabeth was going as well as Jane. "Well come on then, there is not too much left on the morning and I must write to my sister Gardiner about going to London."

When they were alone in the carriage Elizabeth tried to get Jane to tell her what she was able, but Jane would only smile and say that she would understand with time. Jane seemed to be thinking hard about something and blushed slightly every now and then.

They arrived at Netherfield in some confusion, Miss Bingley greeted them, but did not seem pleased to see them. She explained that her brother was just about to leave for Town on business and that the rest of the party would be joining him shortly after, that she had just been writing to Miss Bennet that very moment. Miss Bingley was on the point of turning them away when Mr Bingley come down the stairs at that very moment. He smiled broadly when he saw them.

"Miss Bennet, Miss Elizabeth, I am very glad to see you." He said as he led them into the parlor and asked Caroline to call for some tea. "I trust you enjoyed the ball the other evening?"

Jane blushed a deep shade of pink, "very much so, it was a delightful evening, was not Lizzy. I do not remember ever enjoying an evening more."

Elizabeth could not believe her ears, Jane had never been unguarded in her speech, not that she was saying anything that it was improper for her to say, it was more the warmth with which she spoke. She could see the surprise and pleasure in Bingley's eyes.

Before Elizabeth could agree with her sister, Miss Bingley cut her off, she was clearly not at all pleased, "Charles you have forgotten that you were this moment on your way out on very pressing business?"

"Yes, I must go soon," he said without really paying her any attention, all of his was focused on Jane who asked, "is your business likely to keep you in town long?"

"I'm not sure," returned he, "sometime, but I hope not too long."

"We are to go to our aunt's house in Gracechurch Street after Michaelmas," Jane hesitated before saying, "so maybe we will see you there, if you have not returned."

Bingley's smile widen. "Indeed, I would like that very much." The frown on Miss Bingley's face grow more pronounced.

The visit did not last much longer, Mr Bingley did indeed need to leave for London. But Lizzy was satisfied that she had discovered another part to Jane's plan. And she was happy in the knowledge that no matter what her own fate was her sister would be happy in hers.

The sisters spoke very little on the way home, as there was very little to be said.

"You do know that you don't have to do this?" Elizabeth said.

"Just like you know you didn't have to acceptable Mr Collins." Jane said quietly, and then more seriously, "I am fairly confident of my own heart, as I am of his."

"But Jane, it is not you."

"I would have risked a great deal more for you."

Lydia and Kitty had walked to Meryton that morning and were delightfully telling Mrs Bennet all the news that was to be had when the two old sisters entered the house. Mary was sitting with Mr Collins, his letter finished. Mrs Bennet at first was upset that Mr Bingley had left for town, but was very pleased that they had gone to Netherfield that morning.

"What luck girls, that you should have gone this very morning to call on Miss Bingley." She was very well pleased. "And how luck it is that we had just this morning decided to go to town with my dear brother."

Lydia come up to Elizabeth later on and whispered, "I have some thing to tell you Lizzy that I think will amuse you. You should have seen Mr Wickham's face when I told him that you were engaged to Mr Collins." She laughed loudly. "He went quite white."

Elizabeth coloured, but did not say a word. Mr Collins was growing closer and she could not risk him hearing, thankfully Lydia teased her no more and went back to Kitty. Elizabeth turned to speak to Mr Collins.

"I believe you mentioned that the grounds around Rosings Park are very fine. Are the grounds mostly formal gardens or are there woods and more wild parts to it?"

"The grounds in Rosings Park are very large, the gardens around the house are formal and cost -" Mr Collins continued to tell her more details about Rosings, but gave her more detail of how much different parts of it had cost the family without giving her the details that she would have actually liked to hear.

The remainder of his stay was in a similar vain, he spend much of his time talking to Elizabeth of Rosings Park, his noble patroness and her elegant daughter so that she would know how to act and what to expect when she arrived. Mr Bennet worsen slightly and was not able to live his room on the Friday, but was thankfully able to bid Mr Collins farewell on the Saturday.


	3. Comings and Goings

_Author's notes – So here it is, I hope you enjoy it. I was going to include Georgiana in this chapter, but then decided Darcy would never take her anywhere that Wickham was. Yes Darcy makes his first appearance. _

**Chapter III - Coming and Goings**

The Bennet family returned to normal over the next week. Mary played and read. Jane and Elizabeth looked after their father and tried to keep his spirits up, it was now too late in the season for Elizabeth to walk much out of doors, she did visit her friend Charlotte Lucas once or twice. Mr Bennet continued to worsen, he was not coping well with the winter, enough though there was a good fire in most of the rooms. There was an early snow that year. Elizabeth just prayed that he would make it through the winter, she knew he would get better again when the weather improved.

And on the Monday after Mr Collins departure Mrs. Bennet had the pleasure of receiving her brother and his wife, who came as usual to spend the Christmas at Longbourn. Mr. Gardiner was a sensible, gentleman like man, greatly superior to his sister, as well by nature as education. The Netherfield ladies would have had difficulty in believing that a man who lived by trade, and within view of his own warehouses, could have been so well bred and agreeable. But as they had followed Mr Bingley to town there was little danger of that.

Mrs Gardiner, who was several years younger than Mrs Bennet and Mrs Philips, was an amiable, intelligent, elegant woman, and a great favourite with all her Longbourn nieces. Between the two eldest and herself especially, there subsisted a very particular regard. They had frequently been staying with her in town. As indeed Jane, Elizabeth and Mrs Bennet would be doing after Christmas.

The first part of Mrs Gardiner's business on her arrival, was to distribute her presents and describe the newest fashions. When this was done, she had a less active part to play. It became her turn to listen. And such news there was Lizzy's engagement to Mr Collins and the hope that Jane would likewise be soon engaged to Mr Bingley, that he would be returning from town any day now.

Oh hearing more details of Elizabeth's engagement Mrs Gardiner grow a little worried, she knew of course of the engagement for Mrs Bennet had written and told her all about it, but there was nothing about the way the family spoke of him. About the why Lizzy was much quieter then normal and did not speak of Mr Collins herself unless asked a question about him, that made her uneasy. She resolved to speak to her about as soon as she could, but in the end find that Jane approached her about it.

The news of her engagement had started to make it way around the surrounding neighbourhood and she received many congratulations. The most interesting reaction to the news was indeed Mr Wickham, he seemed to offended by her engagement. She had began to consider him a friend, but he would hardly speak to her now. She was surprised by this and a little annoyed.

As promised shortly after he had left Hertfordshire, Mr Collins had written a very long formal letter to her, which it took her quite a long time to read through and even longer to reply. But she did do, she decided it would be best to tell him about the little goings on since he had left and not to mention anything too personal and of course not to mention anything about her father state of health. She was relived when it was done and even more so when she realised that it would be a week or two before she would need to reply again.

Mrs Bennet was over joyed when not two weeks after Mr Bingley had left for town he came back to Netherfield, almost as soon as news of it reached her, she had sent a note inviting him to dine with them one evening. Mr Bennet was thought to be well enough to sit through the meal, although he had little appetite at the moment. A reply was received that he and Mr Darcy would be delighted to join them for a meal, however his sisters and Mr Hurst had remained in town and would be joining them later.

Mrs Bennet was pleased enough with this, even if it did mean that Mr Darcy would be there as well. There was no help for it, but try and lessen the evil she decided to invite a just a few others. However both Jane and Elizabeth intervened on this matter, there father was not well enough for such a gathering, it would already be hard for him with the Gardiners, Mr Bingley and Mr Darcy.

Elizabeth had become to regain some of her cheerfulness and good humour, she was resolved on not thinking about Mr Collins or the life that was before her and determined to enjoy what time she had left There was also the hope that if Mr Bingley did as they hoped and Jane was so well married that she would be able to break off the engagement. This thought scared her a little. It was not the breaking off of the engagement that scared her, it was that she would be hoping too much for it and then it might not happen and she would have to marry Mr Collins. The thought of him touching her still made her skin crawl. No it was best that she did not think about it at all.

At a last Tuesday arrived and Mr Darcy and Mr Bingley were there in very good time. Jane had dressed with a great deal of care and looked as handsome as she ever had before.

The evening began well enough, the Gardiners were looking forward to meeting both gentlemen, someone had mentioned that Mr Darcy's estate was Pemberley and it turned out that she had grown up in a town not 5 miles from the estate.

The gentlemen arrived and were introduced to Mr and Mrs Gardiner, Mr Bennet was having a slightly better day and had some colour in his checks. Mr Bingley and Jane, as was there habit, were soon in deep conversation with each other, with the only change being the notable difference in the way that Jane received his attentions. Lydia could not tell the difference, but it was evident to the others. Indeed Mr Darcy seemed quite surprised by it. She was encouraging him, where before she had only smiled she now laughed.

But Mr Darcy's attentions was soon drawn away from Jane and Mr Bingley by Mrs Gardiner. "I understand Mr Darcy that you live in Derbyshire? I lived in Lambton as a girl."

"But that is not five miles from Pemberley." He exclaimed, they talked about Derbyshire, about people they both knew. He had ever said so much to a person he had only just met as he did that evening, he was in fact so engaged in conversation that he hardly noticed that Elizabeth and Mr Gardiner were standing close by. She had ever seen him speak with such animation, this was not the Mr Darcy who she knew, this was a different Mr Darcy.

Mrs Gardiner turned to her husband, "my dear do you think we could stop in Lambton on our way to the lakes?"

"I don't see why not," he turned to Elizabeth, "we have not spoken of the lakes since we heard your news, you must set a date my dear so that we will know if you can come with us."

"Yes indeed we must," was her soft reply. "Mr Collins will be returning in the spring and I believe we are to set a date then." She turned suddenly as there was a strange noise. Mr Darcy had been taking a sip of his wine as she spoke and was now coughing violently.

There was a general concern for his health, and it was recommended that he be given some water to help with the coughing, it fell to Elizabeth to led him out of the room and into the morning parlour so that he might have some peace to gather himself. She ran to the kitchen for a glass of water and quickly went back to give it to him.

He drank deeply from the glass, she had turned to go when she heard his voice, "Miss Bennet"...


	4. Mr Darcy's Reaction Part I

_Author's notes – They you to those who have reviewed, added this story to your updates and favourites etc. This chapter is not as long as I had planned, so it is going to be a part 1, it took me longer to write. I blame the heat, it has been too hot to write or even think for that matter._

**Chapter IV – Mr Darcy's Reaction (Part I)**

...she had turned to go when she heard his voice, "Miss Bennet."

She stop at door and looked back at him, he looked more human then he normally did, there was some emotion in his eyes that she did not recognise. The coughing had brought more colour to his face, which reminded her of her father. "Yes Mr Darcy? Is there something else would you require?" She said will more feeling that she could at that moment explain even to herself.

"Miss Bennet, did I hear correctly just then," there was something in his manner then and the way he spoke that Elizabeth did not understand.

"I'm not sure what you heard sir," she spoke slowly. Had he heard something about her father's state of health, she hoped not.

He said "I heard your uncle, that is to say I am to congratulate you on you, "his voice was clearly strained from the coughing, "on your engagement to Mr Collins?" His eyes which had been lower flicked up to her face as he said Mr Collins' name.

She was surprised that he should take an interest in the news, "I er- I thank you" said she. The silence that followed these words was pronounced. Elizabeth was unsure what to do next, he raised the glass to his lips drained it, set it down on the table and walked quickly passed her to rejoin the others in the drawing room with only one brief glance in her direction. She followed more slowly, confused by what had just happened.

She entered the room to see her father sitting by the fire speaking softly to Mary. Jane and Mr Bingley were still speaking, Jane smiled at her, so she joined them. Mr Darcy was standing by himself not far from her father and Mary, Mr Darcy's face was still rather flushed. His eyes seemed to flick back to Jane and Bingley more than to any other part of the room. Elizabeth recalled his surprise at the Netherfield ball when they had been dancing and Sir William Lucas had alluded to them.

Mrs Bennet and the Gardiners were sitting down to a card game, Mrs Bennet asked Mr Darcy if he would join them, which he declined, Lydia however took his place.

"Mr Bingley was just telling me of a ball that one his friends is to have in town" Jane told her, and then turning to Mr Bingley, "a Mr Middleton, is that right."

Mr Bringley smiled, "yes indeed. I mentioned to him that to young ladies of my acquaintance who would be in town at the time of the ball. And he has charged me present his invite to you both."

Elizabeth was very well pleased with this. Such an attention from Mr Bingley could hardily be over looked, she glanced at Jane to see a deep blush overcome her cheeks, however she was not so over come that she could not reply. "We would be delighted to accept Mr Middleton's invitation."

"I believe you will always have the change to met Mr Darcy's young sister, its that right Darcy?" Mr Bingley looked over at his friend who without being noticed had move closer to them.

"Yes, Georgiana will be there."

"It is to be a private ball?" Elizabeth said, looking to Mr Bingley.

"Yes, you will like Mr Middleton and his wife is a wonderfully accomplished woman." Mr Bingley entertained them with details of some of the ladies and gentlemen who he knew that were going.

Hill entered the room a few minutes later with the tea and coffee Jane was pouring tea at the table, Elizabeth went to assist her with the coffee, making sure that her father had a strong cup of tea. Elizabeth could see that he was growing tired. She stayed by his sit for the rest of the evening.

Christmas passed in as pleasant a way as it could. They saw Mr Bingley and Mr Darcy a three more times, but the gentlemen left before for London two days ahead of them. They came to call on the family twice and one at a small party at Lucas Lodge. Mr Bingley and Jane continued much as they had over the last two visits, Elizabeth was pleased that he seemed to be growing in confidence of her regard for him. Mr Darcy on the other hand continued to confuse her, there seemed to be something troubling him, he said as little as he ever had before. But something in his air and manner had change. Elizabeth could not work out what it was. Mr Bingley looked at his friend in alarm from time to time, she had the feeling that he knew what it was that was bothering his friend.

Elizabeth also heard again from Mr Collins, it seemed that Lady Catherine was delighted with the engagement, but was confused about why they had not set a date yet and encouraged them to do so as soon as possible, her ladyship it seemed had views about long engagements. Elizabeth considered her answer for a long time before replying and decided that it would be best to setting the details when they had returned from town, as they would have a better idea how long the preparations would take then. She caught herself wishing that if she did have to marry Mr Collins their relationship could take place entirely over letters.

Mrs Bennet was very confused by the actions of her eldest two daughters and her husband. She cornered Jane and Elizabeth about what they were up one morning, however they were lucky enough to distract her with Mr Middleton's ball that Mr Bingley had arranged that they would be attending with him just after their arrival. Mrs Bennet was quite beside herself.

"Oh Jane, was it not so kind of Mr Bingley to arrange that for you. And him taking you to a ball in town, it is the very thing. Four or five thousand a year and Lizzy to marry Mr Collins, it is all excellent."

Elizabeth was truly troubled at leaving her father in the care only of her younger sisters and the servants. Mary and to a lessor degree Kitty realised just how ill he was, Lydia however could not be made to see how serious the situation had become. Mary spent hours reading to her father, which seemed to give him great comfort. He was sleeping more now and a day or two had gone by where he did not leave his room.

Mary called Elizabeth to his room before they left, saying he wanted to speak to her.

"Well Lizzy," he said when she went to him to take her leave, "you must try and enjoy your time with your aunt and uncle. Do not think too much to the future, it might still all work out for the best in the end." He looked older and more fragile then she had ever seen him. She sat down gently on the bed and took his hand carefully. She still hoped that if he could just make it until the spring, but there was a small voice at the back of her mind telling her that, that was not going to be the case.

"Do not trouble yourself my dear, Lizzy." He smiled up at her, his face was lined and his skin dry and slightly cracked. "If there is one thing I would like to do, it would be to see you happy my child.

"You will write to me father wont you?" She asked, not wanting to say what she knew she should. But she could not face it, not now, not yet. He smiled at her, "Mary will write for me. Don't worry my dear, all with be well, you shall see." He pressed her hand slightly before letting her go. She stood by the door a moment or two, studying his face, praying that it would not be for the last time, before she picked up her bonnet and left. Tears falling freely down her cheeks, she hurried from the room.


	5. Mr Darcy's Reaction Part II

_Author's notes – This chapter is from Darcy point of view, I might do this again every now and then but most of this story will be from Elizabeth's. I am not going to be writing a chapter every night over next week, but will still continue to write as often as I can, I have been neglecting my LARPs which I have a very hard deadline for._

_Thank you to everyone who reviewed, add this story to their alerts, favourites etc... it means a lot to me that you are enjoying it, I hope that you continue to do so, and Ivy2010 I haven't decided yet._

**Chapter V – Mr Darcy's Reaction (Part II)**

Darcy was realised, they were to be quitting Netherfield and he would be safe, away from Elizabeth Bennet and her eyes. He would soon be able to forget that she had ever been. And Bingley would forget her older sister when the next pretty girl smiled at him. No it was for the best. He would try not to think about her, he would focus on getting Bingley over his liking for Miss Bennet. And there would be Georgiana to take care off.

He smiled to himself as he came down the stairs at Netherfield, Bingley and Caroline Bingley were by the door walking back into the house. Bingley, surprisingly, was smiling broadly but she looked less then pleased.

"But what about what we talked about?" She exclaimed, "I thought you agreed with us that it would be better to stay in town for the rest of the winter?"

"I've changed my mind," Bingley replied, "ah Darcy there you are. You have just this minute missed the Miss Bennets. the eldest two came to call on Caroline."

"Indeed, I am sorry that I missed them, they did not stay long then?" Darcy was surprised, he had thought the matter was settled. Bingley had owned that he was not at all sure of Miss Bennet's regard for him and that any offer he made her, she would accept him, for the sake of her family no matter no matter her own feelings might be towards him. Bingley had even admitted that he was worried that he was forcing attentions on her which she did not wish, but that she was too polite to rejected him all together.

"Mr Darcy, you must assist me," Caroline Bingley turned to him with the smile she saved for him alone. "My brother is determined that we shall return to Netherfield even after everything we had talked of yesterday evening."

"You may remain in town if you choice it Caroline," Bingley opened the door to the sitting room for her. "I however, shall be returning as soon as my business is done."

"What has changed your mind so?" Darcy said following Bingley into the room, "surely one brief visit from two young ladies could not work such a change as this?"

"I never truly wished to stay away," Bingley smiled broadly, "their visit simply reminded me that I do very much enjoy country manners."

Darcy found that Bingley's mind was quite made up on this subject, something which he had never encountered in him before. He might complain bitterly when made to do something which he did not want, but he had always taken Darcy's advice and trusted his judgment. their conversation was cut short by the arrival of the carriage.

Darcy hardly knew how to act, his friend have never disregarded his opinion before. He mind was chiefly engaged by what could have been said during the sisters' brief visit to work such a change.

When they reached town Caroline and Mrs Hurst declared that they would stay in town, they did not wish to return Hertfordshire, so they went instead to Mr Hurst's house near Portman-Square and were to remain there for the rest of the winter.

Darcy and Bingley however went to Darcy's house in town, on Barker street. Darcy had decided to return with Bingley to Netherfield, to keep an eye on him, he told himself. Georgiana was delighted to see them both, when she discovered that their stay would not be a long one, she insisted that they go to see a concert that she had heard a good report on.

He found that his plan of trying to keep Miss Elizabeth Bennet from his thoughts was failing miserably, he found that when ever he could sight of a woman with similar hair to her or a laugh like hers, he could not suppress the hope that she had come to town as well. Bingley had mentioned that some of the Bennets would be coming to London very soon.

Bingley was busy for a few days with his business, as well with some of his acquaintance, the Middletons, Darcy had met Mr Middleton once or twice and he seemed like a very pleasant sort of man, quite the gentleman. Mr Darcy had also met his wife once, there was something about her that he did not like, he could not put his finger on what it was. Bingley returned to the house with news of a ball that the Middletons' were having in the new year, which he and Georgiana were invited to. She was very excited by the news, having only been to one ball so far, and this was a ball in town.

Darcy had the decided feeling that she would have liked to go with them to Netherfield when they returned, however Mr Wickham's being in the area made Darcy decided not to take her. But he did promise her that they would go together to spend some of the summer at Pemberley. They did not stay long, but he enjoyed seeing Georgiana is better spirits and hoped that she would continue to improve. Bingley too seemed in a very good mood.

When they return to Netherfield the house was very welcoming, as the weather that winter was particularly cold and wet. Darcy was relived that he was free for awhile of Caroline Bingley. He did not allow himself to think that there might be another reason for his good mood on returning to the county.

They took their horses out when the weather was not too cold and a few days after their return an invitation arrived from Longbourn inviting them to dinner. Bingley was delighted to accept. And a few evenings later Darcy found himself in the drawing room at Longbourn trying not to look too much at Elizabeth Bennet. He was even prettier then he remember, although she seemed rather distracted by something, when she laughed or smiled it did not quite reach her eyes the way that it had before.

He noticed that she kept glancing at her father who had said little and was sitting by the fire with one of the younger girls, he had forgot her name. Marrie – no Mary that was it. Mr Bennet had aged since he had last seen him, and there was a strange colour in his cheeks.

Darcy was to find relived that the families guest had returned to Kent and had been replaced by much more agreeable once. He discovered much to his astonishment that Mr Gardiner was Mrs Bennet's brother. Mrs Gardiner he discovered was from the same part of Derbyshire as himself and he talked more freely to her that he was generally his habit.

He hardly noticed that Elizabeth Bennet and Mr Gardiner were standing close by while he was conversing with Mrs Gardiner, he glanced at her and saw that she was watching him in some surprise. He tried to turn his attention back to her aunt. Mrs Gardiner turned to her husband, "my dear do you think we could stop in Lambton on our way to the lakes?"

"I don't see why not," he turned to Elizabeth, "we have not spoken of the lakes since we heard your news, you must set a date my dear so that we will know if you can come with us." He had just that moment taken a sip of wine. He was slightly confused, what could she need to set a date for.

"Yes indeed we must," was her gentle reply. "Mr Collins will be returning in the spring and I believe we are to set a date then."

Time seemed to stand still.

He must have misheard her.

Or misunderstand her.

No she would never have engaged herself to that ridiculous little clergyman.

No she had more sense than that.

He had seen with some horror the distasteful man hovering around Elizabeth but she had always being trying to escape. He had watched in some amusement.

A sharp pain draw him back to reality. He had forgotten his mouthful of wine and it had gone down his windpipe.

He was coughing hard, struggling to breath, he was being led out of the room, through the pain he saw that it was Elizabeth, she had him by the arm and was leading him into a quieter room. She was gone for a moment, then she returned with a glass of water, concern written in her beautiful face.

The image of Mr Collins touch her checks, looking longingly into her fine eyes, it was more then he could stand. He had not realised just how lost he was until that moment, how much he was under her spell.

He took the glass she handed him and drank from it, she turned to go. He had to know, he had to. He called after her, he had to be careful not to call her Elizabeth. "Miss Bennet?"

She stop at door and looked back at him, it was there again. The concern for him in her eyes gave them a more wonderful expression then he could have imagined. It almost made his heart stop.

He was hers, heart, mind and soul. He would never be able to love another.

"Yes Mr Darcy? Is there something else would you require?" She said with an emotion Darcy could not place. She did not normally speak to him in such a manner.

But he had to know, "Miss Bennet, did I hear correctly just then," it was almost killing him not knowing.

"I'm not sure what you heard sir," she spoke slowly, she looked suddenly worried.

He spoke carefully trying not to let the emotion overwhelm him "that I am to congratulate you on you" he paused, he could hardly think it, let alone say it "on your engagement to Mr Collins?"

She was surprised that he should take an interest in the news, "I er- I thank you" said she. The silence that followed these words was pronounced, Darcy took a deep breathe, trying to control himself. She turned and returned to the room with the rest, he followed her slowly, not sure how he was to carry on. He wanted nothing more then to stay in this quiet room and he knew not what.

He watched quietly for the rest of the evening, studying her anew. He heard Bingley telling Miss Bennet about the Middletons's ball. And he was able to answer when a question was asked of him. But beyond that he was not able to join in any conversation. He was lost in his on thoughts and in the knowledge that the woman he loved, so deeply, was engaged to another. And there was nothing he could do about it.

_One last note_ - _Please forgive my London street names, I have only been to London a few times since I was a child. And I know Baker street is real, as I had lunch at a pub on it two years ago. _


	6. Visitors

_Author's notes – Ok So I worked on one of the LARPs a bit, and I have just about finished one more character sheet, so back to the story. _

**Chapter VI – Visitors**

Georgiana had been delighted that her brother and his friend had come to spend some time with her in town before Christmas, she enjoyed the company of Mrs Annesley but she loved spending time with her brother. She always enjoyed the company of his friend and his friend's sisters, even though his sisters could be more painful then pleasant some times.

Her time had been busy of late, her aunt and uncle, the Earl and Countess of Doncaster as well as their eldest son, his family and younger two sisters were in town for the winter. Georgiana had been spending a great deal of her time with them, the Earl's younger son Robert was a Colonel in the army and was expected to join them soon.

She was very disappointed that they had only remained in town for so short a time, but was happy to hear that they would be returning quite soon. Mr Bingley has even hinted that she would get to met some of the ladies of their acquaintance in Hertfordshire. The young ladies and their mother were to go to the Middleton's ball with their party. Fitzwilliam had mentioned the Bennet family more then once in his letters, the eldest two had stayed with them at Netherfield due to an illness of the eldest.

She was very curious to meet them, Elizabeth in particular. She had been mentioned in terms that while were not completely out of the ordinary, there was something in her brother's manner in writing of her that suggested that Elizabeth Bennet had court his attention for some reason.

She received her brother and his friend with greet joy. And was very soon told of all of the details and delights of their most recent trip, Mr Bingley was the one doing most of the talking, her brother seem somewhat out of spirits and even snapped one or twice when he spoke. Georgiana was by nature a very gentle woman and very shy. But her brother had always been very kind to her and above all wanted him to be happy. Later that evening she thought she had discovered the reason for her brother's mood.

"The Miss Bennets will are travelling to town in a day or two and are to stay with their aunt" Mr Bingley told her. "If I can convince Darcy we shall call on them there."

"You mentioned that only one of them plays?" Georgiana asked, "was it Miss Jane Bennet?"

Mr Bingley opened his month to reply, but both he and Georgiana were surprised when Darcy answered her. So far he had been almost entirely silent.

"No, it is Miss Elizabeth Bennet that plays," he said.

"And she plays very well," Mr Bingley said cheerily, "I'm sure you will enjoy talking to her a great deal. Oh yes, I had quite forgot," he shot a glance at her brother before he continued. "She is recently engaged to a Mr Collins."

Fitzwilliam got up from his seat and walked to the window, were he stared out at the street. "Mr Collins," she said thoughtfully, "I think it was a Mr Collins Anne wrote of in her last letter from Rosings, I believe he is the parson there."

"He is the same Mr Collins," Fitzwilliam said without turning around. He was acting rather strange, and Georgiana was determined to find out why. There was something about this engagement.

"He is the Bennets' cousin." Mr Bingley added, "he is quite an unusual man."

"Then I am quite surprised by the match," she said gently, "not that I know either party, but I have had accounts of both of them and they seem like very different people. What do you think brother?"

He did not reply straight away, he turned slightly to look at her, she was more then a little surprised by his expression. Mr Bingley too seemed intend on her brother.

"I do not understand it at all." He sighed deeply, and then said almost to himself, "they are indeed so different. She is intelligent, her manners are lively and playful she is just as a young lady should be." He looked up at them "I don't believe anyone who describe him in a similar manner." His face frowning slight. "Please excuse me."

With that he left the room.

Georgiana and Mr Bingley were left alone in the room, they looked at each other both thinking the same thing, "the poor poor man."

00O00

"My dears, we must make the most of this trip," Mrs Bennet talked nearly the entire way to London, first of how kind Mr Bingley was for including them in Mr Middleton's ball, then of her concern for Mr Bennet. How difficult it would be if he were to die before Lizzy and Mr Collins were married, how she could not see any reason for delaying the wedding in fact there were several reasons to hasten it. Neither Elizabeth nor Jane asked what the other reasons were.

Jane and Elizabeth were relived when she finally fell asleep. They spoke quietly so as not to wake her, neither of them said anything about their father, nor did they mention Mr Collins. As so much about the future was uncertain, both sisters knew that Elizabeth's fate as well as the rest of the family's were very much dependent on how long their father would live. It was easier not to talk about it. No their conversation was confined to how their time in London be spend.

They arrived at Gracechurch Street after that afternoon, Mr and Mrs Gardiner had arrived a few minutes ahead of them with their children and were already waiting for them at the door.

The next morning was spend unpacking and being entertained by their young nephews and nieces, which simply had the unpacking take longer. Mrs Bennet found the young children tiring and complained about her nervous a great deal. Mrs Gardiner took pity on her sister-in-law and the two of them went out to a shop Mrs Bennet had been wanting to visit. Mr Gardiner went to his study as he had some letters he needed to attend to.

Elizabeth and Jane had just finished and were playing in the parlour with the children when there was a knock at the door. They could hear the voice of the servant and what sounded like the voice of at least one lady and two gentlemen. They looked at each other in alarm as they both recognised Mr Bingley's voice.

Jane raise to her feet quickly straightening her gown and quickly picked up some of toys.

Elizabeth looked to the children, "Andrew go quickly to your father and tell him we have guests." She said to the elder of the boys. He nodded and ran out of the room. The remaining children arranged themselves around Jane who picked up a book, while Lizzy sat down near them and pick up some work.

Hardly a moment later the door opened and the servant announced the guests, "Lady Rowena Fitzwilliam, Mr Darcy, Miss Darcy and Mr Bingley."

Jane and Elizabeth shared a look at the name Lady Rowena, neither of them had ever heard of her before. Their guests entered the room and were introduced to the ladies, Mr Bingley all smiles, Mr Darcy looked paler then he normally did.

Lady Rowena was a young lady of a similar age to Elizabeth, she was not as handsome Jane, but there was something about her. She was dressed very finely in the latest fashion, but her conversation and matter of address indicated a degree of sense and understanding that other as fashionable ladies such as Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst lacked. Her manners of open and friendly. She was one of the daughters of the Earl and Countess of Doncaster and the cousin of Mr Darcy and Miss Darcy.

She had heard that Miss Darcy was exceedingly proud; but the observation of a very few minutes convinced her that she was only exceedingly shy. She found it difficult to obtain even a word from her beyond a monosyllable.

Miss Darcy was tall, and on a larger scale than Elizabeth; and, though little more than sixteen, her figure was formed, and her appearance womanly and graceful. She was less handsome than her brother, but there was sense and good humour in her face, and her manners were perfectly unassuming and gentle. Elizabeth, who had expected to find in her as acute and unembarrassed an observer as Mr Darcy had been, was much relieved by discerning such different feelings.

They were invited to sit, as Mr Gardiner arrived with his son and the tea was called for. Lady Rowena who was sitting with Elizabeth and Miss Darcy began the conversation, "I understand from Mr Bingley that you have just arrived and that you are to remain in town few a few weeks?"

"Yes we arrived yesterday, "Elizabeth replied as Andrew came and sat with her.

"And do you often come to town?" Lady Rowena said with a smile, "Georgiana lives at her brother's house most of the year and is often in need of more female companionship. Don't you Georgiana?"

Miss Darcy blushed but did not answer.

"I would not say often, but I do come to stay with my aunt and uncle every now and then." Elizabeth said, "you are not often here then?"

"We come nearly every winter, as my mother is very fond of London's society and my father loves a good play, which he says he can only find in London."

"Do you enjoy the theatre Miss Darcy?" Elizabeth asked her. Miss Darcy blushed again, observing her brother's eyes on her. "Yes, very much so," she answered simply. Elizabeth felt quite sorry for her, for she clearly was too nervous to speak in front of so many people and she pitied her new acquaintance and tried to put her at her easy.

"My aunt to me to see a concert last time I came to stay with them, I enjoyed it very much" Elizabeth said, "I understand you play and sing very well Miss Darcy?"

"I do enjoy playing, but I do not play very well." Miss Darcy replied.

"Georgiana you are too modest, your playing is charming." Lady Rowena declared. "Even our aunt Lady Catherine can not find fault with it."

"I would love to hear you play," Miss Darcy said to Elizabeth.

"I play very ill indeed," Elizabeth smiled in return.

"My brother says he has rarely heard anything that gave him for pleasure." Miss Darcy blushed realising that she might have said too much. Elizabeth hardly knew how to receive such a complement.

"Does he indeed," Rowena laughed, glancing at Mr Darcy who had suddenly taken a great interest in studying the fireplace. "Well the matter is settled then, you both must play for us one evening."

Jane and Mr Gardiner were speaking to Mr Bingley, Mr Darcy was seated between the two groups. He was watching the conversation between his cousin, sister and Elizabeth with a great deal of interest. He had been surprised when Rowena had come to see his sister and had asked if she could join them on their morning call. But he found himself unequal to joining in their conversation.

"and I understand that you are engaged to be married to a Mr Collins?" Lady Rowena said with a warm smile. "May I congratulate you?"

"I am, thank you." Elizabeth coloured slightly, she realised that she was going to have to get used to this.

Their visitors staid with them above half an hour, and when they arose to depart, Lady Rowena warmly invited them to dine with them one day, she said that she would send Elizabeth a note when she had checked with her mother what day would suit them best. Mr Darcy had barley said a word the entire visit. The visitors left before Mrs Bennet and Mrs Gardiner returned, they were very surprised to learn who had come to call on them.

"And you said that Lady Rowena was very pleasant woman Lizzy?"She asked her daughter. "What a complement yes indeed. You must return the call of course. Oh dear, what on earth shall you were? Jane, my dear, you must wear your blue gown."

Later in their room Lizzy and Jane discussed their visits.

"I do not know what to make of it, Mr Darcy hardly ever says a word." Elizabeth exclaimed, "but to have said such a thing to his sister."

"It is very odd," Jane agreed, "maybe we have been too quick to judge him?"

"Considering the source of our information, I do not think that at all likely."

"But remember what he told you of Miss Darcy? That she was so proud and yet the young lady we saw is not proud at all just very shy."

"That is true, but no it cannot be. He can be forgiven for being mistaken there, but Jane there are too many details that tie in with information we have had from others."

"What of Lady Rowena, did you like her?" Jane changed the subject.

"Yes I did, there is a straightforwardness about her that I like. I hope we shall see more of her. What did you think?"

"She seemed a very nice person and quite the gentlewoman, I did not hear much of her conversation as I was engaged by my uncle and Mr Bingley." Elizabeth smiled, "yes, I believe I will be wishing you joy very soon my dear sister."

"Lizzy!" Jane blushed deeply and changed the subject again. "We must call on Caroline Bingley while we are here."

"But we must wait for her to call on us first, that is how these things are down. You send word to her that we were coming to town did you not?"

"I did."

"Then we will wait for her to come to us. But we must return the call on Miss Darcy and Lady Rowena."

00O00

Lady Rowena smiled as they were leaving Gracechurch Street. "What charming people, Miss Bennet is indeed very pretty."

"She is an angel," Bingley said with a smile.

"Miss Elizabeth Bennet was very charming, was she not Fitzwilliam?" Lady Rowena said to her cousin.

"She looked very well," Darcy said simply, he had hoped that this would be an end of the matter but his cousin continued. "And she was so attentive to dear Georgiana."

"I liked her very much, she is also very pretty," Georgiana said, "I do hope I can hear her play soon."

Darcy had hoped that Georgiana would not like her and that would somehow make her engagement to another man easier. But of Georgiana liked her, how could she not?

And he did not like the way Lady Rowena was smiling at him. It made him very uneasy.

_Author's notes – I realised after writing this that nearly all of the Fitzwilliams' names begin with R, it was not done on purpose the names just seemed to fit. The last daughter will have to have a name that begins with something else as I have already started calling the older brother Richard at least in my own head._


	7. Some Perspective

_Author's notes – Thank you everyone who reviewed and those who are reading without review._

_Darcy's uncle is the Earl of blank in the book, however in the 1995 BBC TV series they said Matlock, but that is not cannon and I am going to be using Doncaster, there would be no Earl of Matlock as Matlock is a small town in __Derbyshire__, however there have been Earls of Doncaster. _

_Check out__: www dot fanhistory dot com/wiki/Pride_and_Prejudice_

_Likewise I know quite a few fanfictions have decided that the Colonel's name is Richard, but in this story is going to be Robert since that is what his name is in my head. I will change the older brother's name so that there is no confusion. At the moment his part will not be very big but that might change and the Colonel will nearly always be referred to as the Colonel._

_There is a lot of Jane Austen stuff out there, the Internet is a wonderful and deeply weird place._

_I am going to be switching points of view a fair amount in this chapter, it just seemed to work._

**Chapter VII – Some Perspective**

The next morning Elizabeth received another letter from Mr Collins. Most of the letter contained Lady Catherine's advice on what wedding clothes she should be buying, from where and how they should be transported. Her ladyship had been very particular on these matters it decided to answer it later as they had a busy morning planned, there were several shops Mrs Bennet wanted to visit. She did however write to her father. It was not a long letter, she found that she could hardly write.

They returned to Gracechurch Street tired but pleased, while they had not been able do all that they had planned they had managed to do most of it. Mrs Bennet chief source of good humour was that she had overhead two very fashionable ladies in one of shops they had been in talking about the Middletons' ball and how much they wished they were important enough to be attending.

The ball was in just over a week's time and there was a great deal to be done, for the ball and Elizabeth's wedding. Mrs Bennet talked over every details, Mrs Gardiner listened patiently gave her opinion, however Elizabeth could not. She just agreed with what ever her mother wanted. What did it matter to her away what her gown look like, or what lace it was trimmed with. No he was marrying Mr Collins, she had begun to see her wedding day as the end.

But she was given to dwell on unpleasant things, no indeed she focused all of her attention on her sister for fear that it would drift back to either Mr Collins or her father.

Mrs Gardiner came over to where Elizabeth and Jane were sitting sorting out their purchases.

"Well Lizzy you must have made quite an impression on Lady Rowena." Her aunt smiled at her, "for this note has just arrive for you."

Elizabeth read the note quickly, "she invites us all to dine at their house on Thursday night."

Mrs Gardiner smiled, "that is quite unexpected attention from a such a quarter."

"She writes that she has is also ask her cousins and their friend, Mr Bingley." Elizabeth glanced a Jane to see her blush slightly, "and that they are expecting her other brother as well."

"It sounds like it will be quite the party then," her aunt replied. "We must accept of course."

00O00

Darcy was pacing, he seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Lady Rowena has invited Georgiana and himself to dine with her family, she had also mentioned that the Bennets would be attending. He did not know what to make of her lately, he thought that she might believe he had an attachment to Elizabeth Bennet. But she knew as well as he did that she was engaged to another man.

He could not turn down the invitation without upsetting his sister and his uncle's family and that would not be at all worth it. And Georgiana, she was improving. She had actually had a proper conversation with a person she had never met before. It was just typical that that person would be none other then Elizabeth Bennet.

"I must put her out of my mind" he said out loud. But the more he saw of her the more painful it was to be in her company, however when he stayed away he felt like he was going to die.

He could not understand why she had done it. He knew she did not love Mr Collins, every look had suggested that she could not stand him. He stopped by the fire and stared down into it.

A strange thought came to him then, was it Miss Bingley who had mentioned that her father's was entailed away from the female line? Mr Collins was to inherit the estate after Mr Bennet's death. Mr Bennet had looked ill the last time he had seen him.

Could that be it?

Could Elizabeth Bennet be marrying Mr Collins for the sake of her family?

Not that he didn't know the pressure a family could put on one. He felt it every time he received a letter from Lady Catherine. He was reminded again and again that it was his duty to his family to marry his cousin Anne. They had only spoken of it once when they were children, the idea had made both of them feel very uncomfortable.

Georgiana knocked quietly on the door at that moment, her bonnet in her hands, "brother is everything alright?"

He looked around at her, "yes, I'm just concerned over some business that not going as well as it should."

"I'm sure you will fix it," she said gentle, "you always fix everything."

"I think this might be beyond any fixing I can do."

"Have faith brother. The carriage is here."

"Yes let us go, we don't want to keep Bingley and his sisters waiting."

00O00

Caroline Bingley was annoyed, they had been in town a few weeks now and they had hardly seen anything of either her brother or Mr Darcy. Mr and Mrs Hurst did not move in the same circles as the Darcys, they were snubbed by a great many people, who viewed their recently acquired money and lack of family connection as proof that they were inferior.

She sister's marriage to Mr Hurst had helped a little, but the Hursts were not important enough, but a married into the Darcy family would do it. They were connected to some of the most important people in the country. Her brother seemed to be determined to attach himself to Jane Bennet, who while was very sweet would do nothing to further their connections. Who were the Bennets other then a family with a small estate and very few connections.

She was sitting by the window, looking out at street while she waited for the carriage, Louisa was still upstairs getting ready.

Charles arrived at the door, "are you ready Caroline?"

"Yes," she stood, "Louisa will be down in a moment. Mr Hurst has already gone out, he has an appoint he could not get out of."

"Darcy and Miss Darcy will be here in a minute" Charles said checking his watch. "Did you see the note from Lady Rowena Fitzwilliam, Darcy's cousin? We are to dine with them on Thursday."

"Yes, it was very kind of her to consider myself and Louisa when we are not very well acquainted." Caroline said.

"I only met her the other day with Darcy. She has also invited the Miss Bennets and their uncle and aunt. Where is Louisa? Oh I forgot to mention Miss Elizabeth Bennet is engaged to Mr Collins. They will be hear any minute, in fact I think I hear them."

There was the sound a carriage drawing up at the house. "Louisa?" He walked briskly up the stairs. So there would be no escaping the Miss Bennets, she would have to call on the at Gracechurch Street after all, there was no avoiding it.

There was on piece of news which had delighted her no end, Miss Eliza Bennet was engaged to be married, her brother had told her this morning, to none other then Mr Collins. If she had to have the Bennets as family at least she might to be able to get Mr Darcy as her own husband.

00O00

Georgiana was worried about her brother, he was not at all himself, she watched him quietly all the way over the Hurst's house. He was often quiet and always reserved but she had never seen him like this. She had mentioned her concerns to her cousins, Lady Rowena and Lady Henrietta, the former had questioned her and between them they had come to the conclusion that what ever it was that was bothering him had happened in Hertfordshire. Lady Henrietta, on the other hand, had not been at all interested and left the room soon after the conversation had started.

Georgiana was much closer in age to Lady Rowena then she was to Lady Henrietta and as such as the two youngest cousins they tended to be drawn together, while their older siblings talked of more important matters.

Fitzwilliam was staring out of the window last in thought, a frown on his face. They were to spend the day with the Bingleys, since it was such a find day despite the it being the middle of winter they were to go to the royal gardens and walk for a while.

Fitzwilliam stepped out of the carriage to help Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst into it, was once the entire party was safely within they set off. When they arrived Georgiana was pleased to see that Caroline Bingley seemed in high spirits and asked her many questions about their cousins as she had never met them before, she however was forced to turn to her brother more then once to answer them as he knew the older cousins better than she did.

Fitzwilliam answered every question put to him, even if he did not always do so the first time he was asked. Georgiana explained he was worried about some business to Caroline when she asked her about it.

Mr Bingley also seemed concerned for his friend and draw him away from the ladies, Georgiana hoped that he would confide in his friend were he had not in her.

00O00

"Come now Darcy," Bingley said to him. "You need try and cheer up a little."

"Thank you Bingley," he replied, " for your concern."

"I didn't even know you liked her that such, the way you are always bickering."

"Neither did I, I can assure you I was quite surprised to discover it myself."

"Have you spoken tor her?"

Darcy laughed, "and what would I say to her?"

"Well, I didn't mean about the engagement, more just to see where the conversation goes. You never know she might mention it herself." Bingley was really concerned for him, even Darcy could see that.

"I don't know if I am even able to have a conversation with her anymore, the power of speech seemed to be beyond me at the moment."

"I don't believe that for a minute," Bingley said. "No I have seen the way you two speak to one another, she does not speak to anyone else like that. Even her sister has commented on it."

"She has?"

"She has indeed, and if you would like I can ask some more questions of Miss Bennet?"

"No, I would not have her thinking-" Darcy replied, no it would not do to have her thinking anything odd of the situation.

"Cheer up Darcy, she is only engaged. She is not married yet."

"No she is not married yet."

00O00

Jane and Elizabeth waited on Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst the next morning after they had discussed it again, while their mother and aunt were busy elsewhere. Caroline Bingley received them more warmly then Elizabeth had expected and was surprised and pleased to that Miss Darcy was engaged in a similar manner.

"Oh Jane it has been far too long,"Caroline exclaimed, "Louisa and I were so pleased to hear that you had come to town for some of the winter."

Jane smiled, "yes it has been too long."

Louisa leaded forward, "and we understand they you are going to the Middletons's ball as well as ourselves?"

"Yes, your brother was kind enough to arrive it for us." Jane said.

"I believe," Elizabeth said, "we are to call on them in a day or two with Mr Bingley and make their acquaintance. Do you know them well?"

"We move in the same circles," Caroline said airily.

The visit past off pleasantly enough, Miss Darcy seemed more comfortable in the company of the two sets of sisters and her companion, Mrs Annesley and without any of the men there. Elizabeth soon realised that the best way to get Miss Darcy to speak was to engage her in conversation on her own, she did not speak willing in-front of the rest of the group. Elizabeth had quite a long conversation with her on the subject of music, however Miss Darcy seemed very kind to speak of her brother, which Elizabeth put down to her not often staying with him.

"You must have had quite a lonely childhood Miss Darcy, there is quite a age gap between yourself and your brother?" Elizabeth asked her while they were standing apart from the rest.

"I believe some would consider it lonely," Miss Darcy replied, "but we spend a great deal of our time with our cousins."

"And are they nearer in age to you?"

"Anne is a few years younger then Fitzwilliam, as is Lady Rowena," Miss Darcy said thoughtfully. "although my other cousins are all older."

"Growing up in a house with four sisters must have biased me," Elizabeth laughed, "but I would have liked to have a brother, it would have made things easier." she said more to herself then Miss Darcy.

"I should have liked to have even one sister," Miss Darcy smiled. "But brother did very well for looking after me while we were growing up, well he still does, I do not know what I would do without him, he is so kind."

Elizabeth was surprised to hear Mr Darcy described in such terms as this, but then remembered that he might be a very different sort of a man in front of his young sister then he was before others, although it did please her that he was kind to his sister. There was something of innocent and sweet about her, she could not help liking her and feeling slightly worried about how she would cope in the world. It reminded her of how her own sisters were when they were children. However Lydia is even younger then Miss Darcy and she would not describe her as innocent or sweet.

"Miss Eliza," Miss Bingley called from other side of the room. "We had not congratulated you on your engagement to Mr Collins," Miss Bingley smiled at her. "You must allow us to congratulate you, you will be very happy I am sure

Elizabeth forced a smile in reply and thanked her.

_Author's notes – Even my cats have started complaining about this heat, they are wondering through the house meowing, like I can do anything about it. Ahhh too hot! 94% h__umidity according to Google, please excuse me while I go and stick my head in the fridge._


	8. A Letter from Longbourn

_Author's notes – Ok I have asked a couple of my friends if they have time to proof read this for but, but sadly none of them have time to commit so if anyone is interested in being a beta reader for me please let me know?_

**Chapter VIII - A Letter from Longbourn**

Elizabeth received her first letter from her father, written by Mary, on Wednesday morning. She opened it before just after breakfast, but soon discovered that the house was too full and noisy for her to read it in peace. So she put it away until she had time later to pay it the attention it deserved.

Her one piece of comfort was that if there had been bad news they would have received an express from Longbourn. Everyday that passed without one was a good thing. She found that as the days went by she was continually listening for the sound of a horseman outside with the dreaded express.

Her uncle had reserved a box for them for that evening for the theatre, Elizabeth was quite excited, it had been a long time since she had been to a play. Jane suggested that they get some fresh air that morning, Elizabeth was pleased by the idea of some exercise, she had remained indoors too long and longed for the open space and fresh air on the countryside. At least she thought living in Kent will be pleasant from that point of view, living in town would be much worse. It was the first cheerful thought she had had about her marriage since arriving a few days ago.

Her mother declared that it was much too cold to leave the house. Their aunt on the other hand thought it was an excellent idea and said that she would join them. The snow had cleared from the ground, so their path was clear. So it was that the three of them were walking arm-in-arm through Hyde Park, Mrs Gardiner came across some of her acquaintance who she had not seen for a while and spent some time talking to them.

Jane and Elizabeth carried on after agreeing to meet her later on. It was colder than they had thought it would be and walking helped keep them warm. Jane started slightly and then smiled broadly. "It is Mr Bingley and Mr Darcy," she said pointing.

Elizabeth looked pleased that Jane would have another chance to speak to Mr Bingley, she saw indeed Mr Bingley, Mr Darcy and behind them Miss Darcy and another gentleman who she did not know. He was about thirty, not handsome, but in person and, as she was soon to discover, address most truly the gentleman.

"Why Miss Bennet and Miss Elizabeth Bennet. What a pleasure it is to meet you like this." Mr Bingley said in his good humoured manner.

"Good day Miss Bennet and Miss Elizabeth Bennet," Mr Darcy smiled. "May I introduce my cousin to you?" He gestured to the man standing next to his sister.

"Yes we would very much like to met him," Jane replied.

Miss Darcy came forward smiling as she greeted them, clearly pleased to see them. The introductions were made and Colonel Fitzwilliam was presented to them. "Ah, the Miss Bennets, I have heard much of you." he said.

"I hope it was all good?" Elizabeth asked.

"Indeed it was, was not it Darcy?"

"Fitzwilliam," Mr Darcy said, his tone was stern. They started walking, Jane and Mr Bingley draw away slightly from the others. Miss Darcy seemed truly delighted to see her, from what Elizabeth could tell from the little she said to her, Miss Darcy seemed happy just to listen to the conversation going on around her.

"My cousin has spoken of both of you, several times," Colonel Fitzwilliam told her.

Elizabeth looked in surprise at Mr Darcy, to see him colour slightly. "My cousin enjoys teasing me a great deal as I am sure you will discover for yourself."

"What do you think Miss Darcy?" Elizabeth asked her, "does your cousin enjoy teasing you as well?"

Miss Darcy laughed, "he does indeed, but I think he enjoys teasing my brother more then me."

"You are to join us tomorrow night are you not at our uncle's, are not you?" Mr Darcy asked her.

"Yes, Lady Rowena sent a note inviting us and we will be attending."

He smiled broadly at her, she could not make him out. He had never spoken to her in such a friendly manner before. She could only assume that away from Hertfordshire society and in the company of his family, he was more at easy.

They continued walking on and talking in an easy manner, until Miss Darcy complained of being tired, the Colonel offered her his arm, as Mr Darcy did Elizabeth. She expressed herself not at all tired, so continued on, Miss Darcy however began to walk more slowly still holding on to the Colonel's arm.

Elizabeth turned back, "we should wait for her."

"My cousin will look after her," Mr Darcy said, then stomped to pick something up, looking at it with a strange expression on his face. "I think you might have dropped this?" he said holding it out for her.

Elizabeth looked at what it was and saw it was Mary's letter. She had completely forgotten she had taken it with her. The seal which she had broken that morning was not doing its' job and the letter had fallen open, "Thank you. It is a letter from my sister, Mary. I would have been very sad to lose it." She took it from him. "I have not had a chance to read it yet."

"I am glad to be able to return it then. I hope the rest of your family is well?" There was something about the way that he said this that made her uneasy.

"I er-, well enough I believe considering the time of year." Her concern was acute then, he could only have seen a word or two, a sentence at most. But she feared that he might have seen. She resolved to read it the moment they returned to the house.

There was a uncomfortable pause before he spoke again. "How long are you to remain in town?"

"A week or two I believe, not longer. I would not like to be away longer."

"And- Mr Collins?"

"He has returned home to Kent." She realised as she spoke that she had misunderstood him. "He has written a few times since he left."

"He is coming back into Hertfordshire," he paused again seeming to choose his words. "Before the wedding I mean?"

"The plans have not been settled yet, but yes I believe so."

He looked thoughtfully. "I was very surprised to hear of your engagement to him." There was something in his voice that she did not recognised. She tried to look at the expression of his eyes, hoping that would give her some clue, but he was not looking at her, but off into the distance.

She was not sure how to respond, but she had the sense that he had not finished speaking. Or at least there was something else that he wanted to say that he could not say for some reason. They continued in silence for a minute or two. Elizabeth was beginning to feel very uncomfortable.

At last she replied, "I am surprised that you take an interest in the matter. I would not have thought the marriage of your aunt's clergyman would have interested you."

It was his turn to be uncomfortable. "I-," he coloured but then continued, "had I not met _you,_ then I wouldn't have taken an interest. But well as things are, I am interested."

She knew not what to make of his words. Why should he take an interest in her engagement to Mr Collins because he had met her? They had been standing still while this little conversation took place and Elizabeth was slowly becoming aware of just how cold it was. A slight wind had got up and she was shivering.

Miss Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam caught up with them, "Darcy, Miss Bennet, I think we had better get something warm to drink. Your sister is quite frozen"

"Are you indeed?" Mr Darcy smiled at his sister, "Let us go, Miss Bennet." he said offering his arm to her again. She took it this time and she was relived to feel some warmth return to her as they began to walk again. And she could feel the warm of Mr Darcy's arm through his sleeves.

"I do not see Jane nor Mr Bingley?" Elizabeth said.

"They are over there," Mr Darcy said, his voice low and his head bent slightly so that only she could hear. As she looked in the direction in which he pointed she saw why, they were standing very close together and deep in conversation.

"They will catch up with us," he said more loudly, "but right now we need something warm to drink and a good fire."

"We passed an inn over there did we not?" Colonel Fitzwilliam said.

They made their way over to the building. Once inside by the fire Elizabeth felt considerably better, the feeling began to return to her toes and the tips of her fingers. But it was not until Mr Darcy returned and handed her a mug of warm chocolate that she really began to feel human again.

"I think we stayed out a little longer then is wise at this time of year," said Colonel Fitzwilliam as he took off his great coat and shook it slightly.

"Oh don't scold Robert, it is a fine day. Just a little cold." Miss Darcy laughed. She had relaxed a great deal, Mr Darcy seemed rather surprise by this, but not displeased.

"What do you think Miss Bennet, was it too cold a day for us to walk in the park?" Colonel Fitzwilliam asked.

"I do not think there is such a thing unless the ground is completely covered in snow," she declared, "I miss being able to walk in the countryside."

"Bingley and Miss Bennet should have been here by now," Colonel Fitzwilliam said looking towards the door, "Darcy if you can look to the ladies, I will see if I can find the other two?"

Mr Darcy nodded, Colonel Fitzwilliam put his coat back on and left the Inn quickly.

"Do you walk often then?" Miss Darcy asked Elizabeth.

"Miss Bennet walked over three miles to visit her sister when she was sick at Netherfield." Mr Darcy said.

"It is not three miles," Elizabeth said, "but yes, I do walk often, I enjoy it a great deal. There is a peace in it."

"I have not walked around Pemberley as much as I should like," Miss Darcy said thoughtfully.

"We'll have to do something about that this summer." Mr Darcy said thoughtfully.

They spoke for a while of Pemberley and being in the countryside, Mr Darcy said little, he was enjoying the conversation between the two ladies.

"And you will play tomorrow evening, will you not?" Miss Darcy asked shyly.

"Indeed, if you wish it."

"I believe nothing would give us more pleasure," Mr Darcy said. Elizabeth was beginning to feel that Mr Darcy knew something about her that he was not telling her. She could not imagine what it might be, but there was something odd in his manner.

Jane and Mr Bingley arrived just then, followed by the Colonel. They were all very cold and Mr Darcy ordered them more warm mugs of chocolate. Elizabeth stole a look at her sister trying to see if there were any difference to her or her expression. Jane looked very happy, but not enough to make Elizabeth think that _that_ had been discussed between them yet. Mr Bingley too looked decidedly happy with the morning events.

They took their leave with the promise of meeting again soon, as they were all to dine the next evening with the Fitzwilliams. Mr Darcy had stayed by Elizabeth's side until the very last moment, reminded her of her promise to play for his sister and he smiled at her as he handed her into the carriage.

She was very confused by all of this.

When they got back to her aunt's house, Elizabeth went straight to their room to read her letter,

_My Dear Lizzy,_

_Mary has offered to write this letter for me as I do not feel well enough to write it myself, but I am sure she will do a better job of writing it then I would. Be not alarmed my dear child, my health is not as bad as it could be, I am just waiting out the winter and reserving my strength. As I am determined to let you be free for as long as humanly possible,Mr Collins must wait. He has written to me, asking when the wedding shall be, I will write in reply when I am well enough to do so and we shall see. The rest of his letter was filled with much the same manner of thing as his conversation. It is an amusing read, even if it was not meant to be one.  
_

_Mary has been keeping very well entertained by reading to me every evening. Even your younger sisters have come to sit with me, although they cannot stay long before they are overcome by some silliness or other. They talk such a great deal of ribbons and bonnets, I miss your company and that of Jane's very much indeed. You will be both missed extremely when your time to quit this house comes for once and all. Lydia and Kitty have enjoyed being unattended and spending a great deal too much time with the officers. I believe I will have to check their ways when I am well enough to do so. There always seems to be one officer who is the current favourite, at the moment I believe it is a Mr Stone, but who knows next week it would well be Mr Wickham._

_I have little news for you, as an old and somewhat boring man I do see little and hear less, if I can help it. I have, however my best attempts not to, heard via Kitty that Miss Lucas is going to stay with an aunt in Bath indefinitely. I know this news will bring you pain my dear as you will not have a chance to say goodbye to her as she is to leave before you are to return._

_Yours etc.  
_

_Your affectionate Father_

Elizabeth read it through several times. She blinked back tears, she was determined not to allow them to get the better of her. No she was stronger then that. She was, however, slightly terrified as to what Mr Darcy had seen. The only part which would not have given her pain for him to have read would be the section about Charlotte.

His expression so soft, and unlike anything she had seen on his face before. His tone so altered. She knew not what to make of his behaviour. She was reminded by the mention of Mr Wickham's name of his treatment of that gentleman. She realised that she had begun to see him in a new light, but was now being to wonder if it had only been an illusion. His treatment of poor Mr Wickham could not be forgiven, not for anything. No his behaviour towards herself was very strange at the moment, but she could not like him.

She was not left long to her silent wondering as one of her nieces was calling her.

_Author's notes – So any bets on which bit Darcy read? And what he plans to do next? Please reply if you are interested in being my beta reader._


	9. Dinner with the Fitzwilliams

_Author's notes – Again thank for reviewing and to those who offered their services. And particularly to 4everthankful__ who is proof reading for me. I could make a pun but I will refrain for the time being._

**Chapter IX – Dinner with the Fitzwilliams**

Mrs Bennet was in a very good mood, she had found nearly everything she had been looking for, for Elizabeth and Mr Collin's wedding. She had heard from her husband and he was no worse, which as Jane had pointed out was very good news. They were all engaged for dinner that evening with a very important, prominent family. And best of all Mr Bingley continued to pay his attentions to her eldest daughter. She was certain Mr Bingley was merely waiting for the right moment to propose to Jane.

Last evening's entertainment had been very agreeable. She had not been in London since Jane was sixteen and was enjoying the whole experience tremendously.

Mr Bingley was to call the next morning to take them to meet the Middletons. He was also engaged this evening to dinner with the Fitzwilliams. Although she did not think that Mr Bingley and Jane would be able to have many private conversations this evening, but there was always the hope of more in the future. He had been so attentive to them and to her daughter especially since their coming to town. She had not yet heard what his plans were, but was sure he was waiting to speak to Jane about it on a more intimate manner.

Jane was full of good humour, smiles and every now and then very becoming blushes, she looked very handsome indeed her mother thought to herself as she watched her busy with her work that morning. Being in love suited Jane very well.

Her attention was caught by her younger daughter, who was writing a letter. If only Elizabeth would smile more, she was quite pretty when she did smile, so long as she did not say anything too intelligent. Her father had spoiled her of course, she had always been his little Lizzy. Elizabeth's education had been almost entirely managed by him and she was too clever for her own good. Mrs Bennet knew that his illness had effected her second daughter more than any of the others, she was that much closer to him than they were. But it was almost as if she was not excited about the match with Mr Collins. She was an engaged woman and engaged to a very respectable man. She would one day to take Mrs Bennet's place as the mistress of Longbourn.

While Mr Collins were not as rich or handsome as Mr Bingley, Elizabeth would still have a very comfortable home. No, Elizabeth had done very well. Jane would have Mr Bingley, Elizabeth Mr Collins and the younger girls could take their time to find good husbands. They were all safe. If Mr Bennet were not to live much longer. As much as it pained her to think of it, he was not likely to live long at all. And then she would be a widow with three unmarried daughters to care for. She was not sure how she would be able to cope.

Mrs Bennet had not been as happy in her marriage as she would have liked, her husband was too little known to her when they married. And even more then twenty years later she was not sure she understood him any better now. He teased her, she knew, she did not always understand but she knew he meant no harm by it. It was just his way. She did really love him in her own way and she was sure he did her in his.

Her brother's young children she could only deal with in small doses, Jane managed them better then she ever could. But Jane always had helped her with the younger girls when they were little. She was very relived that her girls were not little children anymore. She had, she knew, rushed them to grow up earlier then she should. She had enjoyed her time before her marriage after coming out into society more then any other time in her life and they should enjoy it to. The flirting, the dancing. It was all such good fun. Lydia, she knew, was not really ready to be out yet. But she didn't want to be the mother of little girls anymore. No, her daughters weren't little girls anymore, they were young ladies. She was very proud of all of them, they would do her proud, each in their own way.

The only one she really worried about was Mary. She had suffered for being the middle child and not having a sister she was close too, all the others had that. But she would be able to pay Mary more attention when Jane and Elizabeth were married and settled. She would leave the younger girls with Elizabeth or Jane for a while and she would work on Mary. Yes, that would do it.

OoOoo

"Do you think that they will be very elegant Lizzy?" Jane asked her as they were getting ready that evening. It got dark so early at the moment that it felt much later then 4 o'clock.

"Well Lady Rowena was very elegant when we met her." Elizabeth said thoughtfully. "But you look lovely Jane."

Jane smiled and looked at her reflection, she was wearing a blue silk dress. It was her second best dress. They could not wear their best dresses as they were going to a ball in a few days and could not wear the same dress twice.

"Just one last touch," Elizabeth said adding a piece of ribbon in her sister's hair. "It is sad that we cannot wear flowers in our hair in the winter."

"Thank you Lizzy. Are you sure I will do?"

"You look very well, stop looking in the mirror, or we will be late." Jane still hesitated, so Elizabeth urged her again. "Mr Bingley will not be able to take his eyes off you."

The rest of the party were waiting for them downstairs.

"Oh Jane, you look very well indeed," their mother said looking at her. "Lizzy please smile a little more this evening, you have a very good smile."

Elizabeth smiled brightly at her mother and promised that she would. She sighed as they stepped outside into the almost dark winter evening, the cold wind was comforting against her checks. She saw Jane looking at her in worry, she smiled reassuringly at her. This was Jane's evening and she was not going to spoil it for her. She would do her best to be lively and engaged in the evening activities however much she wished she were back at Longbourn with her father.

Her mood had been far from lively. Her mother had also received a letter from her father, which confirmed her own supposition that his optimist opinion of his health had been just that optimist opinion. He was no worse, that much could be said at least. But he was also no better.

She longed to be by his side. She knew there was nothing she could do, but to be so far at such a time. What could Jane have been thinking when she suggested it? No, she would not think about that tonight. This was Jane's night. Jane's happiness was the very reason she had agreed to marry Mr Collins in the first place.

They entered the Earl of Doncaster's house, it was much more grand then any of the houses they had been in before. There were many more servants then they were used to. The Lady Rowena Fitzwilliam stood at the door to greet them with her brother, Colonel Fitzwilliam. They were both smiling and ushered the ladies into the house so as not to catch cold.

They were quickly introduced to the rest of the family. The Earl and the Countess smiled politely as they were introduced to their guests. Elizabeth could see both Mr Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam in the earl, Lord Edward, but he not nearly as tall as either. He was older than her father, a cheerful looking man, who in his youth must have been handsome. He had grown old too quickly and there was a broadness around his middle and a lack of hair on the top of his head that she had not expected. She had seen many an older gentleman in town and who nearly all of them wore a formal wig.

The countess, Lady Sophia, was quite a surprise. Elizabeth had been expecting an older version of the Lady Rowena, but instead she found a softly spoken slight woman. She was handsome, looked like she had never uttered a cross word to anyone in her entire life.

Lady Rowena's older sister, Lady Henrietta favoured her mother in her looks and address. But Elizabeth had the impression that she was not really as good tempered as the countess.

There remained only the earl's eldest son and his wife, Lord Thomas and Lady Alice, who entered the room a few minutes later. Lord Thomas took after his father and Elizabeth felt that this must be what Lord Edward looked like when he was younger. Lady Alice was very plain and said little.

Elizabeth was beginning to feel more then a little out her depth, not something that happened often. She had never been in the same room as so many people of title before. The rest of her family she could see were also struggling a little. It was a relief when they heard a carriage at the door and they were no longer the sole guests. Mr Darcy, Miss Darcy and Mr Bingley all entered the door.

Mr Bingley had never met the rest of the family either and the introductions were done again. The Lady Rowena was doing her best to forward conversation on all fronts, as was her brother, Colonel Fitzwilliam.

Mrs Bennet barely seemed to get a word out, so overwhelmed was she, for which Elizabeth was grateful. She had worried her mother would say something embarrassing. Mr Bingley talked cheerily, as did Mr and Mrs Gardiner and by time they had entered the dinning room they were all much more comfortable.

Elizabeth was sitting between Mr Darcy and the Colonel, she had a much more pleasant evening then she would have expected sitting next to Mr Darcy. He was a real gentleman throughout the entire meal. The dinner was exceedingly handsome, and there were many more servants than they were used to.

Mrs Bennet was seated by Lady Alice and Lord Edward. As far as Elizabeth could tell, they were having a pleasant conversation about Lady Alice's children. Miss Darcy was seated by Elizabeth's aunt, she was pleased to see were also speaking comfortably of music.

"Are you enjoying the winter in town Miss Bennet?" Colonel Fitzwilliam asked her.

"I am," replied she. "However I am not sure I would enjoy it every year. I do enjoy the country more, I do have to admit."

"I'm sure you would get used to it with time. There are certain advantages of being in town." Mr Darcy said. "I believed you mentioned that you love the theatre?"

"I do. We went to see a play only last night. It was very good"

"And you would not have found such a good one in Hertfordshire I think?" Mr Darcy leaned a little closer.

"That is true, I believe visiting London during the season would be the best way to enjoy it for its beauties and then turning to the country for the rest of the year to enjoy what it has to offer."

Darcy laughed loudly at this, "Yes, you paint a very charming picture."

"Well you two might be content to move from London to the countryside and then back again. But I should like to see the world." The Colonel said.

"It is a good job then Robert, that you are in the army."

"While you go from Pemberley to town, I will be traveling to France and the rest of the continent."

Elizabeth laughed as they continued to bicker for a few minutes. She found that she really enjoyed being in the Colonel's company. He seemed to make every conversation he was involved in more interested and entertaining. She laughed hard throughout the meal and could hardly remember a meal that she had enjoyed more. He seemed to be enjoying her company as much as she was his.

It was only after the ladies had withdrawn into the drawing room that she remembered that she needed to be more careful, she was after all engaged to Mr Collins. The last thing she needed was to be falling in love with someone when she was already promised to someone else, however little she wanted the marriage to take place. She resolved quietly to be more guarded in her conversation with the Colonel.

Lady Alice came and sat down by her and asked her about her engaged. Mrs Bennet had mentioned it to her during the meal. Elizabeth thanked her for her interested and told her a little of Mr Collins, careful to make him not sound as ridiculous as she found him. Lady Rowena was also sitting near them,. She said "Oh, so you will be living very close to our aunt then? Lady Catherine?"

"Yes, I believe the parsonage is very close to Rosings Park."

"I will be very glad of your company at my aunt's, our visits are not as often as she would wish. But they are always very dull." Lady Rowena told her.

"She is not that bad Rowena." Lady Alice said, "Anne is sweet and in need of more companionship herself."

"I wish our aunt would let her come and stay with us."

On the other side of the room Lady Henriette was trying to talk Miss Darcy into playing for them, "But Georgiana you play so well, you must entertain us?" Miss Darcy had gone quite a bright shade of pink.

"No really Henriette I would much rather not." Miss Darcy said looking around in panic.

Elizabeth caught Jane's eye, nodded in understanding. "Lizzy did you not promise Miss Darcy that you would play for her this evening?"

Miss Darcy looked very relived. Lady Rowena said, "Yes Miss Elizabeth Bennet, please you must play for us? I have heard so much about how well you play from Darcy." She smiled.

Elizabeth blushed. "He has grossly over estimated my talents, but if you wish it I will play."

She sat down and looked through some of the music resting on the top of the instrument. Miss Darcy joined her and she looked for a song she knew. Miss Darcy present her with one.

"I believe this is a favourite with my cousins, do you know it?"

"It is a song I have heard before and it is not too difficult." Elizabeth said relieved as she began to play. After she had finished the song, she was pleased with her performance. She had played as well as she could given the circumstances. Miss Darcy asked her to play again and was soon joined by the other ladies. However she was spared playing again at that moment by the arrival of the gentlemen and the tea and coffee.

Mr Darcy joined his sister where she stood with Elizabeth. "I understand that I missed you playing Miss Bennet, would I be able to persuade you to play again?" he asked her.

"I believe I am done playing for the evening Mr Darcy, perhaps another evening?" She replied and was thankful when he dropped the subjected.

Miss Darcy moved away to get some tea and Elizabeth expected Mr Darcy to go with her, however he remaind by her side. She was even more surprised when he addressed her in a very serious tone.

"I have a confession that I need to make to you Miss Bennet, but I believe it would be better to speak to you in private." His voice was low and slightly unsteady. "May I speak to you tomorrow in private?"

_Author's notes – So the ball it getting closer and closer. Just so you know how the time line is going the Bennets will be returning to Longbourn the day after the ball._


	10. Darcy's Confession

_Author's notes – I know it was mean to leave it on a cliffhanger like that, but your waiting is over. Thank you again to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, your suggestions and guessed what is going to happen next are always very welcome. It is slightly horrifying how many people are reading this fic, but it is 9 years since I wrote my last fic here so I guess this site has got considerably bigger._

**Chapter X – Darcy's ****Confession**

"I have a confusion that I need to make to you Miss Bennet, but I believe it would be better to speak to you in private." His voice was low and slightly unsteady. "May I speak to you tomorrow in private?"

Elizabeth did not know what to say. Whatever it was she was expecting him to say it was not that. She hesitated, wondering what it was he wanted to say to her.

"Please Miss Bennet?" There was an air of desperation his voice..

"As you wish Mr Darcy," she replied.

He smiled at her, "Until tomorrow then." he went to join his sister, leaving Elizabeth to her thoughts.

Jane was just as confused by this as Elizabeth when she told her about it later that night when they were alone in their room.

"So he said that he had a confusion to make to you?"

"Yes. But there is more. I think he might have seen some of the letter that Mary write for father."

Jane started, "Why do you think that?"

"I dropped it when we were in Hyde Park and he picked it up for me. It was open and he glanced at it."

"He must not have seen you drop it and was looking at the address so he could return it." Jane said hopefully.

"Oh Jane," Elizabeth said fondly. "I wish I could think like you do."

"May I read the letter?"

Jane was silent while she read. Elizabeth was lost in thought again, what could Mr Darcy have to say to her in private?

Jane put the letter down, and spoke slowly. "If he did read part of it, the part with my father's health is mentioned or the part that mentions your engagement, then that might explain his reaction."

"He did asked after my family's health straight after he handed it back to me."

"Then maybe he just wishes to ask after our father's health but is embarrassed that he read your letter at all."

Elizabeth was not happy but felt that Jane's conclusion was the most likely.

"His behaviour has been so strange since we arrived in town. Before we left Hertfordshire I would have said he disliked me as much as I dislike him. But now-"

"Now you don't think he dislikes you?" Jane offered.

"Well how can I? He has been so attentive. But it might just all be for his sister's benefit."

"Oh Lizzy, Mr Bingley has told me that Mr Darcy really does love his sister dearly but that he feels uncomfortable around her, that her age makes it hard for him to relate to her. I do not think that his change in manner to you is because of his sister."

Elizabeth was silent, thinking.

"And he did ask you to dance at the Netherfield ball. You were the only lady who he asked who he had not been acquainted with before he arrived in the country."

"That is true, I never understood that."

"Maybe he enjoys your company more then you think he does?"

"No Jane, I know he does not."

"Well then if you know it so well then he must just going to be asking about father's health and not your engagement."

Elizabeth coloured, "You don't think he would ask about that do you? The very idea filled her with horror. It had been hard enough to explain to her family why she had agreed to marry Mr Collins without having to explain to Mr Darcy of all people.

ooOoo

Mr Bingley, his sisters, Mr Darcy and his sister called for them the next morning as they were all to call on the Middletons. Elizabeth had resolved the evening before to pay close attention to whatever Mr Darcy said to her, however, he kept his distance from her. Instead he was standing by himself.

Mr Middleton was a close friend of Mr Bingley's, and that found him to be almost as good humoured as Mr Bingley, but a few years older. Mrs Middleton was a very polite woman with very dark colouring, she spoke with a heavy Polish accent. Mr Middleton had met her when he was travelling the continent some years before. Her English was not good as it could have been and every now and then she was forced to said something to her husband in Polish, which then would translate for the rest of the room.

Mrs Middleton smiled a great deal but clearly could understand little of what was being said. Elizabeth felt sorry for her, it must be very frustrating to be in company and not be able to understand what was being said or to make yourself understood.

Miss Bingley said that she knew a little Polish and tried valiantly to speak to Mrs Middleton but her smile became even more artificial. Mr Middleton laughed loudly, "I think Miss Bingley you need to work on your accent a little more. It is quite hard to understand what you are trying to say at the moment."

Miss Bingley blushed scarlet and made no further attempt to speak Polish. However it was discovered that all of the ladies could speak a little French, so the rest of the visit was spent on a more level footing. Mrs Middleton seemed very pleased by the effect on their side to speak to her.

Elizabeth had been expecting Mr Darcy to speak to her at some point during the visit, however she was disappointed. All he had said to her so far was, "Good morning." however he happened to be the one who helped her down from the carriage when they returned to Gracechurch Street and she felt a note pressed into her hand.

She did not dare read it near her mother, but she waited until she was safely in her room. It was very short, more a line then a note.

_Meet me outside at 2 o'clock. FD_

With a little difficulty and with some help from Jane, Elizabeth managed to leave the house on her own just before 2 o'clock. The air was cold, it was overcast and was threatening to snow. She glad that she had dressed warmly. She looked up and down the street but could not see him anywhere so she walked towards Lower Thames Street.

She saw him then walking towards her. She stopped and waited for him.

"Miss Bennet." He greeted her.

"Mr Darcy"

"Shall we walk this way together?"

They walked next to each other, neither saying anything. Elizabeth was waiting for him to speak first. At last he did.

"Miss Bennet," his voice was slight unsteady. "You have met my sister Georgiana. What do you think of her?"

"I think she is a sweet, very shy young lady." She said, wondering where he was going with this.

"I am glad you think so," He said with a smile, then he turned serious. "She is more than ten years my junior, she was left to the guardianship of Colonel Fitzwilliam and myself, after my father's death five years ago. About a year ago, she was taken from school, and an establishment formed for her in town; and last summer she went with the lady who presided over it, to Ramsgate." He hesitated then, seeming unsure how to continue.

"Mr Darcy I do not understand why you are telling me this?" Elizabeth said, whatever she had been expecting him to say it was not this.

"Please, Miss Bennet, let me finish and then you will understand when I have explained." He spoke very gently but there was a determination in his voice she had never heard before. "I must now mention a circumstance which I would wish to forget myself, and I had resolved never to disclose it to any human being. However, I feel that it is necessary to share with you. Having said thus much, I feel no doubt of your discretion?" He waited for her to answer. He was looking directly into her eyes as if searching for something. She nodded, "Of course sir, if you wish it."

He continued with bitterness in his voice, "Mr Wickham also went to Ramsgate, undoubtedly by design." She started at Mr Wickham's name She had thought that he would never mention Mr Wickham's name.

"There was a prior acquaintance between him and Mrs Younge, the lady in whose care I had placed my sister, and in whose character I was most unhappily deceived. It was by her connivance and aid Mr Wickham so far recommended himself to Georgiana, whose affectionate heart retained a strong impression of his kindness to her as a child, that she was persuaded to believe herself in love and to consent to an elopement." Elizabeth gasped.

"She was then but fifteen, which must be her excuse;" he laughed slightly but then continued. "But after stating her imprudence, I am happy to add that I owed the knowledge of it to herself." He looked at her directly for the first time since he had started speaking. "I joined them unexpectedly a day or two before the intended elopement; and then Georgiana, unable to support the idea of grieving and offending a brother whom she almost looked up to as a father, acknowledged the plan whole to me."

He had stopped walking and looked at her directly, Elizabeth hardly knew how think or feel. "You may imagine what I felt and how I acted. Regard for my sister's credit and feelings prevented any public exposure, but I wrote to Mr Wickham, who left the place immediately, and Mrs Younge was of course removed from her charge. Mr Wickham's chief object was unquestionably my sister's fortune, which is thirty thousand pounds; but I cannot help supposing that the hope of revenging himself on me was a strong inducement. His revenge would have been complete indeed."

He was silent then, as was Elizabeth, her mind was racing. She could hardly believe what she had just heard, and yet she could not believe that he would invent such a tale of his sister. No it must be true. But she could not believe that Mr Wickham would act in such a way to any young lady. Elizabeth was angry, but she hardly knew why. She had to know more. She broke the silence first, fighting to keep her voice level. "Why would Mr Wickham want revenge on you?"

Mr Darcy looked away from her again. "I do not know what you have been told about my history with him. Mr Wickham is the son of a very respectable man, who had for many years the management of all the Pemberley estates; and whose good conduct in the discharge of his trust naturally inclined my father to be of service to him; and on George Wickham, who was his god-son, his kindness was therefore liberally bestowed. My father supported him at school, and afterwards at Cambridge;—most important assistance, as his own father, always poor from the extravagance of his wife, would have been unable to give him a gentleman's education. My father was not only fond of this young man's society, whose manners were always engaging; he had also the highest opinion of him, and hoping the church would be his profession, intended to provide for him in it."

So far, this did not contradict what Mr Wickham himself had told her of his history. Her mind when back to that conversation, she could remember it as if it had taken place last night.

"As for myself, it is many, many years since I first began to think of him in a very different manner. The vicious propensities—the want of principle, which he was careful to guard from the knowledge of his best friend, could not escape the observation of a young man of nearly the same age with himself, and who had opportunities of seeing him in unguarded moments, which my father could not have. Here again I shall give you pain—to what degree you only can tell. I can tell from your face that Mr Wickham has spoken to you on this subject." He looked at her again, as if asking if he could continue. She did not say anything, she did not trust her voice.

"But whatever may be the sentiments which Mr. Wickham has created, a suspicion of their nature shall not prevent me from unfolding his real character. It adds even another motive. My excellent father died about five years ago; and his attachment to Mr. Wickham was to the last so steady, that in his will he particularly recommended it to me to promote his advancement in the best manner that his profession might allow, and, if he took orders, desired that a valuable family living might be his as soon as it became vacant." He stopped again, looking at her.

"He has mention the request to me." Elizabeth said.

"There was also a legacy of one thousand pounds. His own father did not long survive mine, and within half a year from these events Mr Wickham wrote to inform me that, having finally resolved against taking orders, he hoped I should not think it unreasonable for him to expect some more immediate pecuniary advantage, in lieu of the preferment by which he could not be benefited. He had some intention, he added, of studying the law, and I must be aware that the interest of one thousand pounds would be a very insufficient support therein. I rather wished than believed him to be sincere; but, at any rate, was perfectly ready to accede to his proposal. I knew that Mr. Wickham ought not to be a clergyman." Mr Darcy said as he started walking again.

"The business was soon settled. He resigned all claim to assistance in the church. Were it possible that he could ever be in a situation to receive it, and accepted in return three thousand pounds. All connection between us seemed now dissolved. I thought too ill of him to invite him to Pemberley or admit his society in town. In town, I believe, he chiefly lived, but his studying the law was a mere pretence and being now free from all restraint, his life was a life of idleness and dissipation.

For about three years I heard little of him; but on the decease of the incumbent of the living which had been designed for him, he applied to me again by letter for the presentation. His circumstances, he assured me, and I had no difficulty in believing it, were exceedingly bad. He had found the law a most unprofitable study, and was now absolutely resolved on being ordained, if I would present him to the living in question of which he trusted there could be little doubt, as he was well assured that I had no other person to provide for, and I could not have forgotten my revered father's intentions. You will hardly blame me for refusing to comply with this entreaty, or for resisting every repetition of it. His resentment was in proportion to the distress of his circumstances—and he was doubtless as violent in his abuse of me to others, as in his reproaches to myself. After this period, every appearance of acquaintance was dropped. How he lived I know not. But last summer he was again most painfully obtruded on my notice at Ramsgate."

Mr Darcy had finished his story and was silent, waiting for Elizabeth to speak. She was deep in thought, weighing up what he had told her against what she already knew. They continued walking in silence for a long time. She could not doubt him, there was more openness in his manner now than she had ever seen before. She had thought that nothing would ever make her change her mind so completely. She had believed Mr Wickham completely when he had told her his side. She was amazed now how he had twisted the facts.

"And do you have any proof of this other than your word?"

"I would not have Georgiana retell the story for any man, or woman. But Colonel Fitzwilliam knows all of the details of what transpired."

She nodded understanding. "There is one thing I do not understand," She said, "why are you tell me all of this?"

"Ah, yes of course." He replied, "This you see is the confession I need to make to you. When I had the pleasure of your company while walking in Hyde Park, you dropped a letter. I saw Mr Wickham's name in it. I realised at that moment that it was in my power to prevent you from suffering the pain that I so nearly went through and I could not rest until I had explained all of this to you. I could not let _you_ go through that. I realise now that I should do more to stop Mr Wickham but I have been blinded. I hope that you will forgive me?" He took her hand in his as he spoke. Elizabeth could hardly understand him. She was, as many young ladies are, blind to the obvious.

"You do not owe me anything. There has been no harm done."

"Not yet anyway. What would your advice be? How should I proceed in such a case as this?" Elizabeth felt that he was referring to more then just the situation with Mr Wickham.

"I am not sure how much can be done." She said, still thinking. "It might be best if you spoke to the gentleman's commanding officer and without the full details make him acquainted with what had happened."

Mr Darcy smiled slightly, but did not let her hand go.

She continued. "But that would not help would it, for he would move on somewhere else."

"You begin to see what I have been struggling with. I cannot see a way to out him without ruining my sister. But yet I feel now that I am placing her happy above others."

Elizabeth was silent as she thought what she was doing for the sake of the happiness of her own sisters at the price of her own.

"No, " She said at last, "there is no way of stopping him permanently without ruining your sister. Or at least no way I can think of. Thank you for telling me this."

They had been walking for a long time now and it was beginning to grow dark, although it was still early. The clouds making it seem darker then it really was. So they turned and walked back towards Gracechurch Street. Her arm in his still, for he had still not released her hand. Elizabeth felt that she should ask him in, in light of how cold it had become, he however declared that he would rather be getting home as he had been away for a very long time now,

She was just about to enter the house when he stopped her. "Miss Bennet there is one more thing I would like to ask you, if you would not mind?"

"Of course not Mr Darcy."

"I have been wondering about your-." He seemed to change his mind, "Would you do me the honour of dancing with me, for the first two dances at the Middletons's ball on Wednesday?"

She smiled in reply, "Good evening, Mr Darcy." she said before entering the house.

_Author's notes – Elizabeth has not spend that much time with Mr Wickham, she spend most of her time with him after Darcy and Bingley had left for London, which has not happened in this timeline, just like Wickham has told no one but Elizabeth his sad story, as he only told everyone his story after Darcy had left. Elizabeth did not like Darcy but it was removing Bingley from her sister that was the finally nail in his coffin, again that has not happened. This is Elizabeth did not like him and is more confused by him now than anything._


	11. The Long Awaited Ball

_Author's notes – Thank you again to those who reviewed, it means a lot that you are enjoying the story._

_Real life is going to be cutting in on my writing time. I am taking a course in Marketing in the evenings during the week for the next 15 weeks. It starts tomorrow, which basically means between work, the course, having a life and my other writing commitments I will only be able to write on the weekends and posts will be slower. So remember what they say: patiences is a virtue!_

**Chapter XI – The Long Awaited Ball**

Mrs Bennet was waiting for Elizabeth when she entered the house. Her mother had been at the window. "Was that Mr Darcy I saw you with just then?"

"Yes mama. I happened to see him while I was out. He was kind enough to walk me home."

"That was kind of him." Mrs Bennet said, then her expression changed slightly. "Lizzy you must remember that you are an engaged woman. And you cannot be carrying on with another young man."

"He walked me home mama, nothing more. Believe me I have not forgotten that I am engaged to Mr Collins."

"Well just don't you forget it. You have a good thing going for you with him. The last thing we need right now is you upsetting Mr Collins or Mr Bingley. Mr Bingley is likely going to be asking for your sister's hand any day now. No, you stay away from Mr Darcy. I knew that man was trouble from the moment I first lay eyes on him."

"Mama, he was only being a gentleman. And I am not going to be upsetting Mr Bingley or Mr Collins." She said before she headed upstairs.

"We have come too far to lose everything now." Mrs Bennet called after her.

Jane was waiting for her when she arrived back in their room, she thankfully had not heard their mother. Elizabeth lost no time in sharing what Mr Darcy had told her, Jane was more then a little surprised.

"I can hardly believe. Surely there must be some mistake?"

"I am beginning to believe that there is only enough goodness between, the two of them to make one good sort of man. And for my part I believe it is all Mr Darcy's."

Elizabeth did not tell her sister the rest of Mr Darcy's behaviour, other then that he had asked her to dance at the ball. Jane was pleased. There was something that was beginning to bug her. She knew it was something very obvious that she should have noticed but she did not know what it was.

ooOoo

Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst returned their call on Saturday morning, however they called without their brother or the Darcys as they were engaged with the Fitzwilliams for the day.

"When will you be returning to Hertfordshire?" Miss Bingley asked them as Jane handed her, her tea.

"The day after the ball." Jane replied, "I thought I understood from Mr Bingley that he would be returning soon as well to Netherfield. Will you be joining him?"

"In the spring, Louisa and I are enjoying the season in town too much." Miss Bingley said. "But we will miss you Jane. When you return home. I am not sure how much longer my brother plans on keeping the house."

"Miss Eliza, have you settled a date yet for your wedding?" Mrs Hurst asked her sweetly.

"That is to be settled on our return to Hertfordshire. Mr Collins will be joining us in a month or two." Elizabeth replied.

"We hope that it will be soon though." Mrs Bennet said, "Mr Collins is such a fine young man."

ooOoo

The next few days passed slowly, as they were all looking forward to the ball. Although their time was busy, there were any number of things Mrs Bennet simply had to do and shops to visit while they were in town. Mrs Bennet had been able to speak of little else other then the Middletons's ball. The weather continued to be cold, however it had not snowed again yet, but they could taste the snow in the air. It would snow again very soon.

By Wednesday afternoon their things were packed and ready, they would be leaving for home first thing the next morning. One more night of pleasure, then they would be returning to Hertfordshire and to the real world. Where Mr Bennet slowly losing the battle for his life and where a lifetime with Mr Collins awaited Elizabeth. She saw the irony, the very event which would take away the most loved man in her world, her father, would also unite her forever with one she could not stand. But she had chosen this life. With her eyes wide open.

Elizabeth looked at herself in the mirror before they left and was a little surprised, she had not truly looked at herself in a few weeks. Before they had left for London her eyes had been bright and slightly red from crying. But now there was a new energy, a passion for life in them again. Although it was more guarded, less trusting, fearful for the worst.

She was pleased with her appearance. She was wearing her newest gown, it was Persian green and had been Jane's choice. Jane had said that it would suit her dark hair and eyes very well. Jane was likewise in a new dress, her dress was white. There had been a lot of time spent on her gown, Mrs Bennet had been most particular about it. Jane had been more worried about Elizabeth's then her own. At least they were both ready.

"My dears, you both look wonderful." Their aunt had greeted them when she saw them. "I'm sure Mr Bingley will love it." She said to Elizabeth when Jane was out of ear shot. Elizabeth just smiled. Mr Gardiner was waiting for them at the door and also paid his complements to them.

ooOoo

Georgiana was sitting in the parlour waiting for her brother to come down stairs. The room was dark but for the flames in the fireplace. They were going this evening to the Middletons's ball. She was still worried about him. He was clearly in a lot pain, but was not speaking to her about it. She knew she should be braver and ask him what was troubling him but she found that she could not do it.

He had come back from their walk in the park even more thoughtful and silent than he had been before. He had seemed very pleased with himself after the dinner at her uncle's, she had seen him speaking to Miss Elizabeth Bennet while she was getting coffee.

Strangest of all, he had gone out one afternoon. He did not tell her where he was going, which was most unlike him. He had stayed until the evening, when he did return to the house, he was in a good mood, however he was almost frozen. But he was smiling.

"Georgiana are you ready?" He said from the door, making her start. She had not heard him enter the room.

"Yes, I am ready."

"Come into the light, I'd like to see how well you look?"

She stood quickly. She was excited she had not been to many balls yet. "Will I do?" She said, turning around so he could see her dress properly.

"You look very well indeed." He smiled at her. "Yes, I think you will do. Is Mrs Annesley not joining us tonight?"

"No, she said that as you were attending she would not be needed."

"Very well then, but you must not dance unless you want to." He warned her. "Robert will ask you I know."

"Don't worry about me Fitzwilliam. I am looking forward to it. And I will have the Miss Bennets to talk to."

"You will indeed, if you can drag Miss Bennet away from Mr Bingley. Come let us go. The carriage is here." He said leading her to the door

"Are the rest of our cousins going?"

"The Colonel will be, as well as his sisters. I am not sure about Lord Thomas or Lady Sophia. But I doubt that the Earl and Countess will be there."

ooOoo

Caroline Bingley was in a very good mood, a ball always put her in a good mood. She was hopeful of dancing with Mr Darcy at least once and the Bennets were returning for Hertfordshire in the morning. She could not prevent her brother from following Jane Bennet back to Hertfordshire but at least she didn't need to worry about Eliza Bennet stealing Mr Darcy from her any longer. She had had a long conversation with Mrs Bennet about her second eldest daughter's upcoming wedding to Mr Collins and it was quite a settled thing.

Charles was also in a good mood, which she put down to the prospect of seeing Miss Bennet soon. And as she reflected, it would not be the worse thing in the world if Charles married her. She was very sweet and pretty. He could marry a much worse girl.

She had spent a great deal of time and effect on her appearance that night and was very pleased with the results, her gown was the latest fashion and suited her figure well. She had even put on some of the French perfume her brother had been so good as to get for her. She was in a very good mood as she took her place in Mr Hurst's carriage.

ooOoo

Elizabeth entered Mr Middleton's drawing-room with Jane at her side. Both sisters were very nervous, they had never been to a ball in town before. They were happy to be inside again, the evening was turning very cold and there was a light snow falling from the sky, nothing to be worried of just yet.

Mr and Mrs Middleton greeted them, both very pleased to see them. There were a great many people, more then Elizabeth would have thought and all of them very finely dressed. Music was drifting through the open doors which lead to the ballroom. People were beginning to walk into the ballroom in groups. Elizabeth looked around hoping to see a face she recognised.

She saw Lady Rowena and Colonel Fitzwilliam standing together, when Lady Rowena saw them she smiled and made her way over. "Miss Bennet, Miss Elizabeth Bennet. I am very pleased to see you both."

"As we are you." Elizabeth said, Jane was still looking around as the Colonel addressed Elizabeth. "I understand that you will be leaving us soon?"

"Yes, we return to Hertfordshire tomorrow."

"I am to pay a visit on my aunt, Lady Catherine in April in Kent, so I might see you again then."

They were joined then by Lady Henrietta, who ignored both Elizabeth and Jane. "Rowena there you are, I have been looking for you. Did you see that the Granges are here?"

"Yes Henrietta, I did."

"Miss Bennet I believe I see Miss Darcy over there." Colonel Fitzwilliam pointed to where Miss Darcy stood and behind her stood her brother. "I know she would be more egger to speak to you."

Elizabeth was pleased by the attention from the Colonel and Lady Rowena. She thanked him, before leading Jane over. Jane was still looking around for Mr Bingley. Miss Darcy smiled when she saw them and greeted them very kindly. Mr Darcy bowed to them, but allowed his sister to do the talking. They were soon joined by Mr Bingley, who was smiling broadly.

"What an agreeable evening this is for a ball. Just cool enough that we shall be dancing all night." He said. They entered the ballroom, Jane on Mr Bingley's arm, Elizabeth and Miss Darcy on Mr Darcy's.

Elizabeth watched with pleasure as her sister spoke to Mr Bingley, her mother was right. All he was waiting for was a chance to speak to her alone. If he did not get the chance tonight, then she was sure he would when they had all returned to Hertfordshire.

The music began, Mr and Mrs Middleton took to the floor to open the ball, waiting for the other couples to join them. Mr Bingley led Jane out onto the floor as Mr Darcy led Elizabeth, leaving Miss Darcy to Lady Rowena's care. Both the ladies were smiling at them. Elizabeth noticed, however, that they were not the only young ladies taking an interested in them. Both Miss Bingley and Lady Henrietta were frowning at them.

They danced in silence for awhile, both remembering the last time that they had danced and how differently things seems now.

"I would like to thank you Miss Bennet," He said after a while.

"Whatever for?" She asked.

"For being as kind as you are to my sister," he glanced at Miss Darcy. "And for listening to me the other afternoon."

"I had misjudged you, allowed what others said to cloud my judgement. You do not need to thank me."

"And agreeing to dance with me this evening." He paused. "I know that it cannot be more then a dance, although-" he stopped speaking suddenly, his eyes on the door. "Lady Catherine? Why is she here?"

Elizabeth turned her head slightly to look, but her attention was caught not by the woman who stood by the door, but by Mr Collins who stood slightly behind her.

_Author's notes – And before anyone asks, yes green is my favourite colour, as my user name would suggested. And yes I know I am mean got ending off like this.  
_


	12. The Unexpected Guests

**Chapter XII – The Unexpected Guests**

Georgiana was enjoying herself, the Middletons' house was beautiful and all of the ladies and gentlemen were elegantly dressed. So many colours, feathers, silks and jewels. It was just what she imagined a ball would be, and this was her first ball with Fitzwilliam.

His presence was reassuring. She stood near him in the drawing room, looking around at all of the people milling around them. She had seen her cousins and smiled across at them. Lady Rowena looked particular handsome tonight, Lady Henrietta however seemed rather upset about something.

Mr Bingley and his sister joined them, Caroline and Louisa were both in high-spirits. Mr Bingley too was in a good mood, although he was continually looking at the door every time someone new arrived. Fitzwilliam too seemed to be waiting, Georgiana suspected that they were both waiting for the Bennets to arrive.

She had spent some time that afternoon going through her letters from her cousin Anne looking for any reference to Mr Collins, the man Elizabeth Bennet was engaged to. She knew it was none of her business but she had a funny feeling about him.

Her feelings were confirmed when she saw what Anne had written about him. Anne was sweet natured and rarely wrote an ill word of anyone, not that she met many people her life was even more solitary then Georgiana's. She had used words such as, "slightly ridiculous", "pompous" and in a much later letter she had mentioned how much he liked to repeat what Lady Catherine had told him. She did not know Elizabeth well, nor was she a matchmaker, but she felt sure from her little experience of the world and from what her brother and Mr Bingley had said, that Elizabeth Bennet would not be at all suited to Mr Collins and that any union between them would be a most unfortunate connection.

Caroline and Louisa left them to greet some other friends of theirs. Fitzwilliam sighed slightly in relief as they moved away. Mr Bingley moved slight closer to her brother and said something quietly to him, Fitzwilliam looked up and smiled. Georgiana turned to see what he was smiling at, she saw Miss Bennet and Miss Elizabeth Bennet making their way through the room. They had not seen them yet and where walking towards were Lady Rowena stood with her brother, the Colonel.

Both of the gentleman seemed content to watch the ladies for a few moments. No as she looked at the expression on her brother's face she knew very well that Elizabeth could not marry Mr Collins, her brother would not be able to survive it. Mr Bingley also seemed to have lost his entire heart to Miss Bennet.

Georgiana was very interested to meet the rest of the family, see how the eldest two had had such an effect on these two young-men.

Lady Henrietta joined her brother and sister just then, seeming to ignore the Bennets. Robert smiled at Georgiana from across the room and said something to Miss Elizabeth Bennet who glanced over at her and likewise smiled. While she was not as pretty as her sister, there was something about the way she move and the expression of her eyes. The green of her dress brought out the colour and shape of her eyes, seeming to make them dance even more than before.

The two sisters left her cousins and made their way over to them. Fitzwilliam led Georgiana and Miss Elizabeth Bennet into the ballroom, Mr Bingley and Miss Bennet followed behind them. The room was much larger then Georgiana had been expecting, she could see the musicians at the end of the room getting ready to play. Servants were moving about the room with wine and jugs of water. Although it was the middle of winter the room would soon be very warm. Georgiana could hardly contain her excitement. She glanced at her brother and realised that he would be very little help to her for the rest of the evening. No, he would be spending as much of it as was proper to do so with Elizabeth Bennet.

The music started and Mr and Mrs Middleton took their places, ready to open the ball. Other ladies and gentlemen began to join them. Mr Bingley took Miss Bennet by the hand and they took their places. Fitzwilliam smiled at Elizabeth Bennet again, taking her hand as they took their places slightly further down from Mr Bingley and Miss Bennet.

Lady Rowena appeared at her side, as they watched her brother and his handsome partner. "They make a very fine couple don't you think?"

"Yes, I do." Georgiana smiled at her cousin. They watched in silence for a minute or two before Georgiana spoke again. "They are to leave town tomorrow."

"He will follow her, you can see it in his eyes. He is completely under her spell."

"I had hoped that he would take me with him when he leaves town, but he does not want me to go into Hertfordshire. Not yet anyway."

"I'm sure he will let you go soon. But it is likely to be a difficult time for all involved." Lady Rowena said soberly "I am just glad that she is already known to my father and mother. If they approve of the match, which I think they will, there is little anyone else can do to prevent it from taking place."

"Do you think she is," Georgiana flushed slightly. "How did you put it? Do you think she is as much under his spell as he is hers?"

"That is a hard question to answer." Lady Rowena said thoughtful watching them dance together. "I think she enjoys his company very much, but there is something more about her. Some secret that she holds very close to her heart."

Georgiana looked at them, they were smiling at each other as Mr Bingley and Miss Bennet were doing. "A secret you say. She seems sad to me. Like Fitzwilliam was when our father died."

"Oh no," Lady Rowena said in horror. "Our aunt, Lady Catherine. What is she doing here?" Her eyes flicked back to the dancing couple and then back to the new arrival.

Georgiana draw her attention away from her brother and towards the door. Where she did indeed see Lady Catherine. There was an expression on her face that Georgiana had never seen before.

"Oh Henrietta what have you done?" Lady Rowena said quietly.

Lady Catherine had seen them and was walking towards them. She bowed he slightly, "Good evening, Rowena, Georgiana."

They returned the greeting and waited for her to speak again. "I am looking for Fitzwilliam, Georgiana, where is he?"

Georgiana was trying very hard not to look at her brother, luckily she had Lady Rowena with her, who replied for her.

"He is dancing at the moment, Lady Catherine." She said while a smile. "Mama did not mention that you were going to be here tonight. It just slipped her mind?"

"I did not mention it to the Countess that I was coming." She was looking at the dancers, looking for Fitzwilliam. The dance finished, Georgiana was expecting them to join her. She thought she had seen Fitzwilliam glance at least once in their direction. However, she was surprised to see them take their places for the next dance.

Mr Bingley and Miss Bennet were taking a break, he went to get them a glass of wine each. She could see them standing close together speaking quietly.

"How is Anne, is she with you?" Lady Rowena asked pleasantly, her eyes firmly on there aunt. Georgiana was always impressed with her cousin at these moments.

"No, she has remained at Rosings. London air does not agree with her as you know. I see Fitzwilliam. Who is that he is dancing with?"

"Where is he? Ah, there he is. With one of the Miss Bennets, I believe." Lady Rowena said, she turned to Georgiana as if for support. "The eldest if I am not mistaken?"

Georgiana was amazed by her cousin's cool delivery, but she remembered that she was the youngest of the Fitzwilliams and she must have had to make up for her age in other ways.

"I am not sure," she replied, "it could be, I do not know them very well." It was at that moment he noticed that man standing behind her aunt. Lady Catherine turned to him and asked: "Is that the lady in question?"

"Yes indeed that is Miss Elizabeth Bennet, the young lady I am engaged to," he said. His face was red.

Georgiana could hardly believe it, this was Mr Collins. The man who stood between her brother and Miss Bennet. He was not what she had expected. She had thought he would be short and slightly rounded at the middle. However, before her stood a tall thin man, with a slightly reptile-like face. His hair was dark, and his nose slightly bent.

Mrs Bennet was hurrying towards them, "Oh, Mr Collins. What a surprise it is to see you here. I'm sure Lizzy will be very pleased." She looked around for her second eldest daughter as if she expected her to appear out of thin air. When she did finally see her daughter she turned slightly pale and then turned back to Mr Collins.

"You will be very pleased with all of the arrangements we have made for the wedding. Lizzy's gown we are having made and they will be sending it to my brother and his wife. And they will be bringing it to Longbourn for the wedding. The dressmaker in Meryton can make the final adjustments."

Mr Collins said little as he listened to Mrs Bennet while they all waited for Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth Bennet to finish their dance. Georgiana stood silently, very glad that her cousin was there with her. For she did not know what to do.

ooOoo

"And agreeing to dance with me this evening." Mr Darcy paused. "I know that it cannot be more then a dance, although-" he stopped speaking suddenly, his eyes on the door. "Lady Catherine? Why is she here?"

Elizabeth turned her head slightly to look, but her attention was caught not by the woman who stood by the door, but the man, Mr Collins.

Mr Darcy called her attention back to the dance, as they went down the set further from the door and the newly arrived guests. She could feel Mr Collins's eyes searching for her, Mr Darcy seemed likewise uneasy. The lady standing next to him she assumed was Lady Catherine, of whom she had heard so much.

"You were not expecting Mr Collins to join you this evening?" Mr Darcy said, his eyes on her face.

"Not all. He was to join us in Hertfordshire in a few weeks." She blushed, she had not thought that she would have to see him again until much later.

She they turned she saw her mother moving towards the door. She had clearly seen Mr Collins and was going to greet him. Elizabeth dreaded the dance ending. She knew that this would be the last time tonight she would be without Mr Collins at her side. She felt that it was most unfortunate that she was dancing with Mr Darcy at the moment of his arrival. She could not understand why he had come.

As the music ended she readied herself to speak to Mr Collins and was about to bid Mr Darcy adieu and half turned away when she reaslied he had not released her hand.

"You agreed to dance two dances with me Miss Bennet. Not one."

She saw that Mr Collins had seen them and was walking towards them. Mr Darcy nodded his head and lead her back to the floor. She was surprised, but pleased. He was not going to give her up easily. He bowed slightly to Mr Collins before taking his place. Lady Catherine did not look at all pleased. Lady Rowena however had headed her off and turned her way from her cousin and Elizabeth towards Miss Darcy.

"Poor Georgiana," Mr Darcy said as they started the dance. "I'm afraid Miss Bennet you might be about to witness something unpleasant and on behalf of my aunt I do apologise."

She smiled at him then, "She does not scare me Mr Darcy, although I think your sister is more then a little uncomfortable."

He turned his head to look over at her, "She will be alright, Lady Rowena is there with her."

When the dance was over, Mr Darcy led her off the floor to where Lady Catherine stood with Lady Rowena and Miss Darcy. Mr Collins and Mrs Bennet stood not far behind.

"Good evening." Mr Darcy said to his aunt who merely nodded and he then turned to Elizabeth who he had still not let go of. "Thank Miss Bennet, may I introduce my aunt to you?"

"Certainly Mr Darcy, I would be very pleased to meet her."

"Lady Catherine may I present Miss Elizabeth Bennet?" he said to his aunt, then turning to Elizabeth. "Miss Bennet, this is my mother's sister, Lady Catherine de Bourgh."

Elizabeth smiled, "Lady Catherine, I am very pleased to meet you. I have heard so much of you, from Mr Collins and your nieces."

Lady Catherine looked at her for a moment. "Good evening Miss Bennet. Fitzwilliam, if you would, I need some fresh air." She took a step towards Mr Darcy. However, Lady Rowena interjected.

"Oh Aunt, I was about to step outside to get some fresh air myself. Please let me." She took her aunt firmly by the arm.

"Rowena, I wish to speak to Fitzwilliam." Lady Catherine said looking at him directly.

"Surely it can wait Lady Catherine? We are at a ball are we not?" Mr Darcy said.

"No, it cannot wait. I really must insist."

"Very well." He turned to Elizabeth. "Thank you again Miss Bennet." He squeezed her hand very gently before releasing her.

Mr Collins came forward as Lady Catherine and Mr Darcy disappeared through the door. "Ah, my dear Elizabeth." He said smiling as he took her hand in his. He led her away from the others. She looked back at Miss Darcy and Lady Rowena. Miss Darcy looked terrified, Lady Rowena however looked thoughtful for a second and then very angry. She took Miss Darcy by the hand and pulled her behind her and she moved across the room.

"Mr Collins," she greeted him politely. "I am rather surprised that you are here. I thought we would be seeing you in Hertfordshire?"

"Yes, Lady Catherine thought it was very important that I come with her." He drew himself up a little. "And I am very pleased to see you, your letters seemed a little out of spirits."

She blushed slightly but did not reply.

"I was astonished to see you dancing with Mr Darcy," he said suddenly, glancing around to see if the gentleman, his sister or cousin were in ear shot.

"And why would you be sir?" Elizabeth returned, "he is a gentleman. Surely you did not think that I would not ever dance with another man?"

"No, but while we are engaged surely-"

Elizabeth did not let him finish his sentence.

"Surely what sir? I would not dance with another man?" She was angry now. How could he come all the way to town to ruin one of the few good evenings she had left. Very soon all that she found pleasurable would be ripped from her, her father was going to die and she was going to locked into a marry to a man she could not stand.

He was surprised by her anger, nor he did know how to deal with it, he stood looking at her for a moment unsure what to say.

She, however, turned away from him and ran quickly from the room.

ooOoo

Darcy was annoyed, very annoyed. He had been dancing happily with Elizabeth when his aunt and Mr Collins had appeared from nowhere. He was in no mood to put up with his aunt.

"I am sure you can be in no doubt of the reason for my visit here?" She said.

"I have an idea," he said with a faint humourless smile.

"Don't smile at me like that Fitzwilliam. Do you have any idea how serious this is? To be behaving like this with that woman, who is not only beneath our notice but who is engaged to be married to your aunt's clergyman?"

"I have not been carrying on with Miss Bennet. I have merely been spending some time in her company. Which as she is a gentleman's daughter cannot be considered by anyone as inappropriate."

"I have heard things Fitzwilliam."

"There is nothing you can say that will scare me Lady Catherine. I have done nothing wrong in my conduct to Miss Bennet and if she does not decided to continue her engagement with Mr Collins, that is her business not mine."

"Break off their engagement! I have never heard of anything more ridiculous. What of your own engagement? Have you forgotten that you are engaged to Anne?"

"There is no engagement between the two of us. And neither of us have any mind of becoming engaged to one another. My mother meant well, but she would never have wished me to enter into an engagement so against my will. We were still children when you talked of it. She would have liked me to marry Anne, but she would not have forced me into it if she knew my reasons. Just as you should not be trying to force Anne into a marriage she does not want."

"What of your honour? Your duty to your family?"

Their voices were growing louder as they spoke.

"Has my behaviour in anyway indicated that I have forgotten either of those things?

"You met _her_ in the street for long unaccompanied walks in the dark. You were seen, you were holding her hand! Georgiana practically begging Rowena and Henrietta to help her find a way to dissolve _her_ engagement to Mr Collins. What can you say to that?"

Darcy was surprised by that, he did not realise that Georgiana knew anything about the situation.

"I will not deny that I met her alone in the street. However there was nothing improper about the meeting."

"When I got Henrietta's letter I knew I had to come at once to see for myself. And I discover that you are dancing with her. Duty and honour demand that you give up the acquaintance entirely. Do you not see that if you continue with this course you will ruin not only your own reputation but the reputation of the entire family. What would your father think? If he knew that you were planning on throwing away everything that his forefathers had worked so hard to create? What would your mother think if she knew what you were going to do to dear Georgiana? Do you think anyone will ever go near her?"

Darcy could stand it no longer and he turned and left the room. Lady Catherine's voice following as he went.

"Think what your mother would say, think of your sister."

_Author's notes – There you go a longer chapter then I had planned on writing. This week has not been as bad as I thought it would be, I don't have any other work from my course yet other then reading. And well I could stop planning this chapter, work has been a bit slow the last two days. But I don't expect it to stay like this. I will post again when I have a chance to do so. _

_Please review, thank you again those who have already done so._


	13. Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

**Chapter XIII – Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow**

Elizabeth found a quiet, dark room not far from the ballroom. She was not sure how long she spend in the room on her own. She could not understand why she was so upset. She had been enjoying dancing with Mr Darcy, but why had Mr Collins and Lady Catherine come all of the way from Kent? She felt like she did when she was a little girl and her father had scolded her for doing what she should not have done, or her mother had told her off for doing something unladylike, such as getting mud on her new dress.

But she had done nothing wrong. She was permitted to dance with other gentleman. There had been nothing to scold her for this time. There was no mud on her dress. She had been behaving just as her mother wanted her to. She was engaged to Mr Collins and she had done nothing to jeopardise that, she knew there was little hope that she would be able to get out of marrying him, but then why did she feel so guilty? The answer to this question eluded her.

Once she had calmed down enough she left to rejoin the party. She checked her appearance in a mirror, her eyes were slightly red, but she hoped no one would notice.

She entered the ballroom, there were still a great many couples dancing. The music was still playing. Jane was standing with Miss Bingley, Mr Bingley was dancing with Lady Rowena, Colonel Fitzwilliam and Miss Darcy were also dancing. There was no sign of Lady Catherine, Mr Collins, her mother or Mr Darcy, which was a relief.

Elizabeth decided to join her sister. Jane smiled brightly when she saw her.

"I wondered where you had gone, I hadn't seen you since you were dancing with Mr Darcy." Jane said.

Miss Bingley turned slightly white as Jane spoke. But she turned to Elizabeth with a smile of her own. "Was that Mr Collins I saw earlier? I didn't reaslise he was joining us this evening?"

"He joined us rather unexpectedly." Elizabeth said, looking at Jane, who looked more then a little surprised at this news. "He came with Lady Catherine, she had some business in town I believe."

"Where is he now?" Jane asked quietly.

"I'm not sure. I needed some fresh air, so I stepped out for a moment. I'm not used to spending so much time indoors," Elizabeth replied.

Miss Bingley laughed at this.

Miss Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam joined them then, both of them were slightly out of breath, but smiling. She stood next to Elizabeth and looked like she wanted to ask something, but did not dare.

"I do love a ball," the Colonel declared. "Miss Bennet, would you do me the honour of the next," he asked Jane, who smiled in return, but declined as she was already engaged to Mr Bingley for the dance. Mr Bingley soon came to reclaim her hand, leaving Lady Rowena with his sister.

The Colonel turned to Elizabeth and asked her to take pity on him as her sister would not. She could see no way of declining herself, although she was far from feeling like dancing.

He smiled, laughed and was so good humoured that she could not help but enjoy herself. However, he had something more in mind. When the dance was over and they were getting something to drink he said very quietly she could hardly make it out. "My aunt means well, but she does not always realise what she is doing. I hope you know that the rest of us do not support her in this."

He did not say anything else on the subject and they soon rejoined the others. Miss Darcy and Miss Bingley were speaking quietly with Mrs Gardiner, who had joined them. Lady Rowena was dancing with a young-man that Elizabeth did not recognise. Jane and Mr Bingley were still dancing together.

Mrs Gardiner took Elizabeth aside, "Well Lizzy, what an evening this is. Your mother is outside with Mr Collins, your uncle is also with them."

Elizabeth coloured, but remained mute. Her aunt patted her arm gently. "Do not worry child, you have done nothing wrong. Mr Collins should not have-" She changed her mind. "You had no knowledge of his trip into town?"

"No, none." Elizabeth said simply. She was not sure why she felt so guilty, her aunt was right. She had done nothing wrong and yet she still felt guilty.

"Lady Catherine has not made many friends this evening. The Middletons are very proud people. I doubt they will forgive her arrival, without a proper invitation. She and Mr Collins will being staying with Lady Catherine's brother tonight and travel back to Kent tomorrow. Mr Collins will be joining you in Hertfordshire as planned in a few weeks. We had best say goodnight to him."

Mrs Gardiner led the way to the hall, it was colder than Elizabeth had been expecting, the front door was open and she could see snow was falling a little more heavily. Her uncle smiled when he saw them. "Ah, Lizzy! There you are."

Mr Collins stood a step towards her, "Elizabeth, I have been speaking to your mother and your uncle. I believe there may have been a misunderstanding. I apologise for my behaviour." He bowed slightly. "Would you do me the great honour of dancing the next with me? I must be leaving soon, but I would like to dance with you again?"

She smiled politely and accepted. He took her hand again and they returned to the ballroom and took their places in the set. They spoke little as they danced, Mr Collins did go wrong here and there and apologised most humbly.

When the dance was over he left only saying, "I will see you in Hertfordshire, in a few weeks."

ooOoo

Darcy left his aunt and found his way outside into the cold. It was just what he needed. He wanted to be away from everyone and the cold reflected his mood. He needed time to think. His aunt was right, well partly. He could not carry on like this. Elizabeth Bennet was engaged. She would very soon be Mrs Collins. Bingley had given him hope, but it was only hope. He needed something more.

It was snowing, but he paid it no heed.

He had a choice. He could walk away from her, try to forget her. Or he could declare himself. And hope that she would end her engagement. He hoped that she would, but he didn't really know what she would do. He walked back and forth in the snow.

He still did not understand why she was engaged in the first place. He had seen her at the Netherfield ball doing everything in her power to stay away from Mr Collins and then to a few days later she had accepted his hand in marriage. No, it made no sense. There was something missing. Something he did not know.

His thoughts turned to that earlier that night, to how she had looked when she had entered the room. How her eyes had lit up as they were dancing together. Her expression when she saw Mr Collins standing behind his aunt. No, there was no doubt in his mind. She did not want to marry Mr Collins, but there was something making her.

He could have believed it was her mother, if she were any other woman in England. But he could not believe that Mrs Bennet could make Elizabeth do anything she did not truly want to. His thoughts turned to her father, but he had always seemed very fond of her. No, that was not likely.

He could not think of anyone who would have that much power over her, to make her marry someone who she did not want to. She was the most independent young woman he had ever met.

He had a choice to make. He did not think he could make it without more information of her motives. But more information was the one thing he was not likely to get. After that little scene he very much doubted that he would be permitted anywhere near her without one of her relations very near by.

He did at least go back inside, he did not want Georgiana to worry. She was standing speaking to Miss Bennet and Mr Bingley. Lady Rowena was not far away with the Colonel. He did not see Elizabeth at first, and then he saw her dancing with Mr Collins. Her face slightly turned away in embarrassment, as Mr Collins continued to misstep in the dance.

He turned away from them, knowing he would struggle to watch any longer. Lady Rowena and the Colonel greeted him, and then Robert answered his unasked question, "Lady Catherine is to go to our father's night."

"And she is to return to Kent tomorrow with Mr Collins." Lady Rowena added, "we have been speaking of it. We think you should speak to the Earl."

"After he has had a chance to meet Mr Collins of course and once they have gone." Robert said with a smile. "I have the feeling my father will view the matter differently after he has met the gentleman involved."

Darcy was not sure what to say. It was the polite thing to pretend that he did not know what they were speaking of, but he was relived that they were taking his side in the matter. In the end he settled for thanking them briefly

The dance finished and the next began. Mr Collins had released Elizabeth and he was walking towards the door. Elizabeth glanced over at him, their eyes met briefly. But both quickly looked away, he knew it was too dangerous for the moment. He decided to join Georgiana, he had been neglecting her.

She looked at him nervously as he approached. Miss Bennet and Bingley were laughing at something Bingley had said and seemed unaware of the tension of the rest of their party.

"Ah, Darcy there you are," Bingley greeted him fondly. "We were just wondering what had become of you."

"I stepped outside for some fresh air," he replied. He remained with his sister for the rest of the ball. She danced a few more times with various gentlemen. Darcy however did not dance again, despite Miss Bingley's hinting and hovering.

He did speak to Elizabeth once more. Georgiana wanted to say goodbye before the Bennets left and he went with her. Georgiana seemed determined. Mrs Bennet was not far away talking to Mr Bingley, she was keeping an eye on him while he spoke to her daughter.

"I understand you are leaving us Miss Bennet." Georgiana said.

"Yes, we return to Hertfordshire tomorrow morning."

"My brother has promised he will let me join him there later on."

Elizabeth glanced at him in surprise. He understood what she was thinking, Wickham is in Hertfordshire.

"Only in a month or two when the weather is better," he said. Elizabeth smiled at this. "Bingley is to return to Netherfield at the end of the week."

"You are not going with him?" Georgiana sounded worried.

"I will be joining him in two weeks, I have business I need to attend to at Pemberley."

"But you will be joining us in Hertfordshire?" Elizabeth asked. There was something in her expression that he could not read. He could not figure out if she wanted him to return or not. Georgiana looked at him quickly, waiting for his answer.

"My business may take a little longer then planned but yes, I intend to return to Hertfordshire." He said watching for her reaction. He decided that he had said enough for the moment, her mother was clearly becoming concerned by the degree of conversation between them. Georgiana and Elizabeth talked for a few more minutes, Georgiana very boldly for her ask if she could write to Elizabeth. She was surprised, but agreed readily and with pleasure. Mrs Bennet called for her, Elizabeth made her adieu.

"Good evening Miss Darcy, Mr Darcy." Their eyes met again, she smiled slightly and then joined her mother, as did her sister, who had been saying goodbye to Bingley.

ooOoo

Elizabeth and Jane said very little on the way home. Mrs Bennet too was more silent then was the norm. Mr and Mrs Gardiner were the principal source of conversation. They had had a very pleasant evening and were aware of the tension between Elizabeth and her mother. But were well mannered enough to ignore it.

Mrs Bennet stopped Elizabeth as she was about to go upstairs with Jane. "Lizzy, I warned you about Mr Darcy," she said quietly, Elizabeth had never seen her mother this serious before. She was used to her mother being loud and slightly silly in her options and manners.

"There is too much at risk. You did very well to accept Mr Collins, I had my doubts that you would. You did, but you cannot undo that. Your father will not live much longer and we need this. We need you to marry Mr Collins. You must forget Mr Darcy."

_Author's notes –Thank you those who reviewed the last chapter and to aeverthankful for looking for this for me before I posted it. This chapter was the hardest to write so far. _

_If anyone could send come colder weather down here, I'll send some sunshine and hot summer days in exchange, I've had more than enough of them._


	14. Return to Hertfordshire

_Author's notes - There is a _Chinese _saying or curse depending on your viewpoint - May you live in interesting times._

**Chapter XIV – Return to Hertfordshire**

Elizabeth was happy to be going home, she had missed her father a great deal and was concerned for his health. She was also relieved to be away from Mr Darcy. It would be much simpler without him. Her mother would be easier at home than she had been in town.

Mary was very pleased to see them, although she looked pale and tired. Lydia and Kitty were in high spirits and telling them all that they had missed while they had been away. Jane listened their tales. Elizabeth, however, took Mary off to the side and asked about her father. Mary did not have good news for her.

"He is still very weak, some days are better then others," Mary said. She seemed to have aged slightly since they had been away, there were lines around her eyes and she looked tired. "He started vomiting two days ago and has been complaining of pain. I believe he is sleeping now."

"Oh Mary, you look tired. You have not been taking care of yourself, I should have been here." Elizabeth said.

"He has spoken of little else then you returning." Mary spoke quietly, "you always were his favourite." There was no bitterness in her voice, she was merely stating a fact.

Elizabeth slipped away from the others soon after to see her father. He was in his room, the door was slightly ajar. There was no sound within, as she stepped closer she became aware of a strange smell that was coming from the room. She entered the room quietly, Mary had said that she thought he was asleep.

He was laying down sleeping. He had never been a large man, but he seemed to have shrunk during her time away, his skin was pale. Elizabeth had never felt more helpless than she did at that moment as she stood looking at her now gravely ill father. He moved slightly in his sleep, clearly in pain. Elizabeth stepped out of the room again and for the first time since his illness started was completely overcome by emotion. Elizabeth was not left long to herself, for Mrs Bennet was soon looking for her.

ooOoo

Darcy did not sleep well that night, his mind was too active. He needed more time to think away from Elizabeth. She was too distracting, he could not think clearly when she was around. Some time away from her would put things in a different light.

He dressed carefully, as he was to meet with his uncle at morning and have a rather serious conversation with him. Lady Catherine, he hoped, would have left for Kent taking Mr Collins with her. He was not in a mood to be polite to him, or put up with his aunt. His uncle was a much easier temper to deal with.

Georgiana was waiting for him in the breakfast room, she looked worried. However, she did not speak at first. He greeted her and started his breakfast. She was playing with a ribbon on her dress.

At last she asked, "You told Miss Bennet that you would be going to Hertfordshire in a few weeks, is that still your plan?"

He looked into his tea cup for a second or two deciding how to answer. "Unless my plans change, yes, I am planning on returning to Hertfordshire."

She smiled brightly and asked no more.

He left for the Earl's house soon after. He did not want to put of the visit any longer then he had to. A servant greeted him at the door and showed him into one of the sitting rooms. Lady Catherine was there, as well as the Earl and Countess, but she was on the point of leaving, Mr Collins waiting near by, looking very nervous and out of place.

Darcy greeted his aunts and his uncle, Lady Catherine was not in a good mood. She was clearly not happy with the results of her trip.

"Come Mr Collins, it is time for us to return to Kent," She said as she stood. She turned to Darcy before she left and said, "Darcy, I had hoped for better from you. Be careful, I will be watching."

His uncle showed his sister and Mr Collins out, while Darcy turned his attention to his other aunt.

"Good morning, Lady Sophia," he said gently. She looked around in surprise, she had clearly not noticed him entering the room.

"Fitzwilliam, you have come to see the Earl." Her voice was as always soft. "He was here but a moment ago, I wonder were he has gone?"

"I believe he will be back shortly, he is saying goodbye Lady Catherine and Mr Collins."

She returned to her work and he walked towards the window and looked out onto the street below. Where Lady Catherine was being handed into her carriage. Lord Edward returned. "Darcy, I think we had best speak in my room so as not to disturb my wife."

Darcy bid his aunt farewell for the moment and followed his uncle.

"Rowena and Robert mentioned to me this morning that you might be coming to call." Lord Edward began once they were in his study and the door was firmly closed behind him.

"They suggested the idea to me last night."

"I see. I was surprised by Catherine arriving so hurriedly. She, however, seemed to think it justified. She spend a great deal of this morning speaking of it. I would like to hear your side of the matter."

"There is very little to tell."

"However little there is I should like to hear it."

"I have spent the last few months in Hertfordshire at a friend's house, Bingley's to be precise. I made the acquaintance of the Bennets. The eldest two daughters and the mother you met the other evening."

"Rowena was very insistent on inviting them, but they were pleasant, sensible girls. And the younger of the two, Elizabeth, is engaged to Mr Collins?"

"Indeed. I believe he is their father's cousin."

"But you have formed an attachment to her?"

"I have. I was surprised, very surprised by the engagement between them. I had reason to believe she could not stand him."

His uncle was silent for a minute or two. "I can't say that I found Mr Collins to be agreeable young man. I am quite astonished by Catherine's choice in him. Pray, continue."

"Georgiana, and through her Lady Rowena, discovered the nature of my feelings towards Miss Elizabeth Bennet and they, I believe, have been acting in an unladylike manner."

"Rowena did own to some slight error in judgement. But what of you, did you suffer a similar slight error in judgement? "

"I believe sir that my behaviour might considered by some and in a certain light not that of a gentleman. However, I have acted in the only way in which my conscience would permit me to do so."

"I see," his uncle said again. "As you know, I do not share my sister's opinion regarding yourself and Anne. It was a plan designed by two school girls, sisters who could not stand the thought of being parted for most of their lives. I am of the opinion that your own dear mother would have abandoned the plan if she had lived to see you become an adult, but as things are we can only guess what she would have thought if she were here.

And what do you intend to do next?"

"I have been considering that point myself."

"And the results of your consideration? I ask Darcy, for a very simple reason. I will speak plainly for there can be no misunderstanding on this point, I cannot permit you to bring scandal down on this house. My own two daughters are unmarried, as is your sister, Georgiana. Henrietta, I believe is on the point of an engagement. I cannot risk anything happening to ruining them. You do not own me the duty of a child, but I hope that due to the closeness of our relationship and the good sense that I know you to have you will think hard before you make a rash decision."

His uncle was not angry, but Darcy knew he would be if he crossed him on this point.

"My plans are not yet settled. I can assure you that I do not intend to act in a rash manner. I will be returning to Hertfordshire in a week or two after I have been to Pemberley, I have some business to attend to in the north."

"And when you return to Hertfordshire?"

"I mean to discover, if I can, the reasons for the engagement. I do not, I cannot believe that Miss Bennet is marrying Mr Collins as the result of an attachment."

"Let us agree on another point. If the engagement between should not last - there can be not even a whisper of your involvement in the affair. For the sake of appearance it would be best if he were the one to break it off. Do not you agree?"

Darcy smiled for the first time since Lady Catherine's arrival the night before.

"Completely."

"What of Georgiana, can you be sure that she will not try to intervene again?"

"She is to remain in town until the situation in Hertfordshire is more stable. Although she is to write to Miss Bennet."

"That will do for the time being. There will be reason to see them often if I am not mistaken. Your friend, Mr Bingley and the elder sister, Jane Bennet?"

"I believe there will be a reason very soon indeed."

His uncle nodded slowly in approval. "Good, good."

ooOoo

Elizabeth spent most of the next few days in her father's room. He was very pleased to see her as well as Jane. He had missed them dearly, although he had been impressed with Mary during the time they had spent in town. She was soon to learn that he was not nearly as pleased with the younger two girls. Mary had tried to conceal the aspects of their behaviour that would bring him pain, but he had gathered some of the details.

But Elizabeth was quite convinced of her younger sister lack of decorum and sense. She had witnessed enough of the conversation between them to show how their time away from the watchful eyes of their eldest sisters, as well as the indulgent and attentions of their mother. There was more talk of officers than suited a gentleman's daughters and the manner in which they spoke of them should not be repeated, among themselves, let alone in polite company.

"Oh Lizzy, we have had such fun while you were away." Lydia announced that afternoon, "it was such a good joke. One of the officers you have not met yet was telling me of a joke some of the men pulled, which resulted in them being flogged, but what do you think they did?"

"If they were flogged for it I am not sure I would like to hear what it was." She replied.

"Aye, you are so strange. But it is such a good joke, I must tell you!" Lydia was quite adamant. "They took the Commanding Officer's breeches and cut a rather large hole in the back of them." Lydia laughed loudly. "And he did not notice straight-away, it was only when he was inspecting the men that he realised."

"Mr Wickham said it was one of the funniest things he had ever witnessed." Kitty added.

Elizabeth and Jane shared a glance. They stayed away a long time after all the others had gone to bed to talk the day after their return home.

"We cannot let them leave the house on their own any longer," Elizabeth said soberly.

"Their behaviour might just have been misunderstood. Mary does not have much experience in these matters. What might to her be a lack of control and a wantonness in behaviour might to us merely be lively spirits and a youthful outlook?"

"Oh Jane, you are too kind, too sweet," Elizabeth looked at her sister fondly. "But you must see it is not so. Merely think of their manner of speaking of the officers? They have run wild, even my mother sees it."

Jane sighed and admitted that they might need to keep an eye of them until their spirits calmed themselves.

"There is one other matter that concerns me, Mr Wickham is still in the neighbourhood."

Jane look alarmed, "But surely you do not think he would try anything? They have no money that could temped him?"

_Author's notes – I think I should mention here that I do not believe in the 'Hollywood ending'. I believe in a good story, life does not often end happily and it would be boring if things always ended well. That being said I have not yet decided on how this is going to end, I will allow it to run its course and we will see were we end up. Endings should be in keeping with the tale being told._

_Ok, just because I don't believe in Hollywood endings, doesn't mean that this is going to end badly and I know how it is going to end, but not how long the road will take to get to the ending I want. I will let things run there course, I am not going to tell you how that will be, because then there is no point in the story. _

_Just don't expect rainbows and puppies and I will even give you a clue, I am not against character death.  
_

_And remember review make me happy, and I find more reasons to post when I am happy!_


	15. Winter in the Country

_Author's notes - Thank you to the people who reviewed etc and to 4everthankful for proof reading for me._

**Chapter XV – Winter in the Country**

Mr Bennet was slightly better three days after the return and was able to join the rest of the family downstairs. Although he did still look rather pale, but expressed himself pleased with a change of room. Mrs Bennet fussed around him and got Hill to put build up the fire, as he took his usual seat close by. "There, Mr Bennet, I think you will do very well there," his wife said as she took her seat.

"Thank you, Mrs Bennet. Lizzy, my paper if you please?" Mr Bennet said, and then more quietly so that only Elizabeth could hear as she brought it to him, "Sit by me, my child? While I catch up on what I have missed."

Elizabeth moved her chair a little closer to her father and picked up the book she had been reading. Jane was sitting at the table writing a letter. Mrs Bennet returned to her work and they sat in silence, other than Mary's playing which they could hear from the other room.

Jane glanced up at her father from her letter every now and then, as did Elizabeth. Both were keenly aware of his every movement. Mrs Bennet too seemed to be paying more attention to her husband then her work.

Mr Bennet turned the paper over, as he commented; "There is no need to watch me like a hawk watching a field mouse. I am not going to drop dead at any moment."

"Mr Bennet, how can you say such things?" Mrs Bennet said, quickly returning her attention to her needle work.

"I am sorry father," Elizabeth said, "we are glad to see you downstairs again. Do you think you will be well enough to able to accompany us to Church tomorrow?"

"We shall see Lizzy, we shall see."

Lydia and Kitty were heard coming downstairs and bickering as they came. "Why did you have to take mine? Jane would have let you wear hers?" Kitty said crossly.

"You know every well that I wore hers last week and cannot wear it again." Lydia replied equally crossly.

"Girls, it is not ladylike to be arguing." Mrs Bennet called to them in the hall.

"Oh, we are not arguing Mama," Lydia said as they came into the room. "We are off to Meryton to see Aunt Phillips."

"Is it not a little cold to be walking to Meryton?" Elizabeth said, with a meaningful glance at Jane.

"Not at all, there is no snow on the ground. It has quite cleared and Sir William Lucas does not think there will be anymore until next week," Lydia said.

"We'll come with you then. I need some lace for the bonnet I bought in town." Jane said, folding her letter.

"Oh, but you are not ready and we wanted to leave now," Lydia complained bitterly.

Jane turned to leave, but addressed Lydia and Kitty before she went, "If you had given us notice that you were planning on going out we should have been ready. But as it is you must wait until we are."

Elizabeth looked at her father before she went upstairs to get ready. "Papa, you do not mind if we go with them do you?"

"No, my dear, you must enjoy yourself with your sisters and not worry about an old man like me," Mr Bennet said.

Mrs Bennet had followed Jane out of the room and was calling up after her, "Jane you must take care to dress warmly. We cannot have you catching cold when Mr Bingley is to return so soon."

Elizabeth and Jane were soon ready. Lydia and Kitty were sitting waiting for them in a degree of ill humour, but cheered up slightly as they left.

"Mr Bingley is returning soon to Netherfield then?" Kitty asked Elizabeth, as they were walking together. Jane was walking with Lydia.

"Yes, he said he would be here very soon." Elizabeth told her,

"And he does not bring his sisters with him again?"

"I believe Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst are to remain in town until the winter is over."

"So he is coming on his own then?"

"No, Mr Darcy is to join him in a week or two."

Kitty was thoughtful for a moment, and then asked, "Mama said you had dinner with the Earl of Doncaster and his family, was not it very grand?"

Elizabeth laughed at her sister's sudden interest on the subject. "It was indeed. The younger brother is a Colonel you know."

"Really, and was he handsome?"

"Sadly no, but he is a very charming gentleman."

"What a shame he is not handsome, it is such a pity."

"There are other things which are more important Kitty. His character is by no means wanting. He was very attentive and pleasant."

"And a Colonel. I should very much like to marry a Colonel."

"I should not, imagine if he were killed while fighting the French. It is a dangerous profession."

"But then you are to marry Mr Collins."

"That is true. But you are very well aware that I would not be marrying- there is father's health to consider."

"I knew there was more to it. Lydia did not believe it, but I know you did not like him any more than we did. He is the most odious man."

"Kitty, it is not done to say such things, even among ourselves. And remember that I am engaged to him."

When the reached Meryton they went to call on their Aunt. Who was always very happy to see them, especially Elizabeth and Jane as they had been away, they gave her a full account of the dinner with the Fitzwilliams and the Middletons's ball. Although Elizabeth let Jane speak of the ball, as she was not sure if she could do so yet without blushing. The call lasted longer then Lydia and Kitty's visits normally did, but they left in high spirits.

A few officers did come over to greet them, Mr Wickham among them. He soon fell in with them, Elizabeth careful to remain with Kitty leaving Jane to keep an eye on Lydia. However she saw that she was struggling to keep Lydia in check. Kitty was easier to manage and followed Elizabeth's example in polite inquires of their health. Lydia, luckily, had not worked out what they were trying to do.

They walked on for a few minutes before Miss Bennet tired by the antics of her youngest sister declared that they were needed at home. Lydia protested but did at length agree.

Mr Bennet was well enough the next morning to attend church, although he was obliged to return to his room on their return. Elizabeth spent the afternoon with him, reading to him. She only left him once he had fallen asleep. She joined the others for tea.

Mrs Bennet was rather nervous and complaining a great deal. "I do not understand why Mr Bennet delays your married Lizzy," she said as Elizabeth entered the room. "I do not know why Mr Bingley has not spoken to Jane yet. Are you sure my dear he has not even hinted?"

"Quite sure Mama," Jane said firmly, she had gone rather red.

"It will be all your father's fault if he dies before Lizzy is married to Mr Collins. What ever will become of us then?"

"Mr Collins is to return very soon Mama and Mr Bingley will be here within the week," Elizabeth said quietly.

"Aye, that is true. At least your father was able to go to church today. If he had not gone then it would have been talked of. But we must hope that it does not snow again for Mr Bingley returns or his journey might be delayed."

"He said he would be here very soon," Jane said reassured her mother. "And his sisters will be joining him in the spring."

"Well, when Mr Collins is here I shall be easy." Mrs Bennet said, "Lizzy you must write to him and ask if he can come sooner then we had talked of. Yes, that is the very thing."

"I wrote to him just yesterday, but I will mention it the next time I write."

"What nonsense is this? Of course you must write to him and entreat him to come. Then the whole unpleasant business at the ball will be forgot."

Elizabeth realised it was useless to disagree with her mother. Although the idea of hastening Mr Collins return did not fill her with pleasure.

ooOoo

Darcy was to London the morning following his visit to his uncle's. Georgiana was to go with him to Pemberley and then return to town when he was going to Hertfordshire. She was still trying to persuade him that she should go with him into Hertfordshire, he was firm. He would not place her within the same county as Wickham if he could help it, and there was his promise to the Earl. Georgiana would come into Hertfordshire when matters were settled there.

Colonel Fitzwilliam came to see him before he departed.

"So Darcy, when are we to go into Kent this year? Or has the brief visit our aunt made enough to satisfy our year obligation?"

Darcy laughed, "I wish it were so, but sadly it will not satisfy Lady Catherine."

He was in no hurry to go into Kent. If he went before the engagement were dissolved, he would have to stand Mr Collins speeches regarding Elizabeth and tolerate his aunt's suspicions. However, if he waited until after the engagement had be dissolved, he would have to an equally difficult situation on his hands. As Lady Catherine would not be at all happy. And, if things worked out as he hoped, he would himself engaged to her. He could not see himself leaving her side if they were not yet engaged.

No, he would not fall into that trap again. If he was lucky, the engagement would be dissolved, but he would make sure that no other man came any where near her until they were married. But he could not tell his cousin this. Perhaps it would be best to wait to visit Kent until after they were married. Yes, that would be the best way.

"You could always join me in Hertfordshire rather than in Kent? I'm sure Bingley would be more than happy to extend the invitation to include you."

The Colonel laughed, "Lady Catherine will not be pleased, but yes, I think I will join you. I will be able to take a fair amount of leave over Easter."

The journey to Pemberley from London was always a long one and this one was no different. Georgiana was silent for most of the way and Darcy was lost in his thoughts, which kept returning to one fine-eyed young lady who he had no right to be thinking of.

As they approached the house, Darcy was reminded of his childhood. He had not seen the house during winter for many years now. There was not as much snow on the ground as there had been even three days ago, but a frost had settled over the house and the ground and everything seemed to gleam slightly in the pale winter sun. Georgiana let out a slight gasp, she too had not seen the house like this since she was very young. Since his mother's death they had spent most of their time in London and even more so since his father's death.

When he had been a child he had spent every winter in Derbyshire, they had skated on the lake and played in the snow. His father had not been able to face a winter there with out Lady Anne. Georgiana had spent maybe two months a year here since she was born and only one winter when she was about 5 years old. Darcy could see large patches of snow that had not yet been touched. He could just imagine Elizabeth running through the field, leaving a path of footprints behind her, not caring how dirty her dress got. He shook his head slightly, he needed to stop thinking about her like this. At least until after the engagement with Mr Collins was broken off.

"I think we should try and spend some of the winter here," he said to his sister.

She smiled at him, "I would like that very much." She said quietly, and then more excitably, "is the late frozen?"

He looked over at it, "I believe it is."

"Can you teach me to skate? You said once that you can skate."

"An excellent idea."

ooOoo

The next few days past quietly for Elizabeth, she did receive a letter from Miss Darcy one morning, it was thicker then she had been expecting. She decided to wait to read it until she was alone in her room that evening, the last thing she needed was her mother to know she was corresponding with Mr Darcy's sister.

But she needn't have worried, as Mr Bingley had arrived in morning and came to call on them that afternoon and her mother was so distracted by him that she would not have noticed her second daughter's letter.

"Ah, Mr Bingley, we are very pleased to see you. I hope you had a pleasant journey?" Mrs Bennet greeted him.

"Thank you Mrs Bennet, I did indeed. Town was not nearly as pleasant after you and your daughters had left," he said glancing at Jane, who coloured.

"Oh, Mr Bingley. You are too kind," Mrs Bennet said with a smile.

"So, Mr Darcy is to join you in a week or two, does he bring Miss Darcy with him?" Mrs Bennet asked, with a sideways glance at her second daughter.

"Mr Darcy will be here soon, but Miss Darcy will only be joining us much later. My sisters and Mr Hurst are to be joining us in the spring."

Mrs Bennet and Mr Bingley continued on for a few minutes, until Mrs Bennet suddenly stood. "Come Kitty, Lydia, there is something I would speak to you two about."

Kitty look confused, Lydia giggled, but they both followed their mother from the room. Elizabeth sighed at her mother's antics. Not long after, Mary and Elizabeth were called from the room by Hill. They went to sit with their father, who was sitting by the fire in his book room. A little while later, Elizabeth went back into the sitting room. Mr Bingley and Jane were speaking quietly and both smiled at her as she entered. Mr Bingley stood as she took her seat next to Jane.

"We were just speaking of the ball," Jane told her, "and what a pity it is there is not going to be another one for a few months."

"It is a great pity, but I am sure there will be dancing at some evening gathering or other." Elizabeth said with a smile. "Lydia could not go a month without dancing."

"Well in that case we will have to arrange something," Mr Bingley declared. "When Darcy is back, not a large party, yourselves, your sisters of course and a few others. Yes it is the very thing for a winter evening in the country. Dinner and dancing afterwards."

When she opened the letter she saw that Miss Darcy had included several pages of sheet music as well.

_Dear Miss Elizabeth Bennet_

_I hope my letter finds you well and that your journey home was pleasant? We are to leave London tomorrow morning for Derbyshire, my brother has decided to let me go with him to Pemberley. However, he still will not let me come into Hertfordshire with him until much later in the year. I am glad to be leaving town, I believe I have spent too much of my time in town. I enjoy the country, but am not often in it. It is much pleasanter in the country than it is in town. But I am sure I do not need to tell you that, my brother mentioned that you love walking and did not seem yourself in town._

_Although I am sad to be leaving my dear cousins,I enjoy their society greatly. I have spent most of day trying to gather up all of my music and get it into order, I do not want to lose any of it of the trip. I did enjoying hearing you play and I hope that I will soon have the chance to hear you play again. There is one piece in particular that I would like to hear you play, it is one of my brother's favourites. I have enclosed some sheet music that I think you will enjoy. The __composer_ _is Felix Mendelssohn..._

Miss Darcy continued to write about music for quite some time. Elizabeth was rather surprised by the music, they had spoken of music more then any other subject but she had not been expecting this. The next morning she took the sheets downstairs with her and tried to play it. She didn't get very far, Mary who had heard her practising and not recognised the song came to see what is was she was playing. And between the two of them they made some head way with it.

_Author's notes – Depending on how my reading and case study go today I might be able to post again before the end of the weekend. But we shall see. And remember that reviews will make me read faster!_


	16. Waiting for the Spring

**Chapter XVI – Waiting for the Spring**

Elizabeth spent most of her time in her father's book room, reading to him, playing chess and writing letters on his behalf. Mary and Jane insisted that she let them take over from time to time, so as not to have her become ill herself. Elizabeth protested, saying she was not really giving up so much of her time as she would normally have been walking out, but that it was still too cold for long walks yet. But her sisters were firm, where they felt they were right.

There were, of course, another demands on their time, their agreement not to let Kitty or Lydia out of the house without one of them as well was proving harder then they had thought it would, and had led to some rather irritated bickering on the younger girls' side. Kitty was much easier to work on then Lydia, and Elizabeth felt that after a few days she had begun to see an improvement in her.

Kitty was beginning to realise what it meant that her father was as ill, as he was.

Two letters from Mr Collins arrived a few days after their return one for Elizabeth and the other Mr Bennet. He was to wait on them for almost three weeks, he was to leave on a Monday morning and arrive back in Kent on a Saturday afternoon so as to inconvenience his noble patroness as little as possible. They were to expect him in a week.

"Oh, that is very good news indeed," Mrs Bennet cried when Elizabeth told her. "I must speak to Hill about getting some of the fish that he enjoyed so much while he was here before. Lydia, my love, ring the bell. We must settle all of the details for the wedding very quickly. Lizzy, you must tell your father you insist on marrying Mr Collins straight-away."

Mary surprised her sister by coming to her defence, "Mama, you know it would be better to wait until the summer. Father will be more himself by then. It will be much talked of it he does not give Lizzy away."

Mrs Bennet was not convinced. Jane, however, joined Mary in the defence of their sister. She spoke softly, "If his situation worsens we can arrange something, but he is not growing too much worse."

"He will do better in the spring. We just need to waiting until the spring." Elizabeth said more to herself than to the others.

Mrs Bennet was silent as she looked from one to the other of her three eldest daughters. "You are all determined on ruining us. At least Mr Darcy has not returned, for that would really ruin us all."

"Shall we try that song again Elizabeth?" Mary asked her, "I would like to play it at the Lucas's tomorrow evening."

Elizabeth readily agreed, and they left the room, leaving Jane to try and reason with their mother.

Charlotte's presence was missed at their dinner at Lucas Lodge. Elizabeth discovered from Charlotte's younger sister Maria that she was not expected back in the country soon. Elizabeth did miss her friend, so many things seemed to be changing about her. Her father would soon be taken from her, she would be joined hereafter with Mr Collins.

She did at least have the pleasure of seeing Mr Bingley almost rude to others in his continued attentions to her sister, they were now almost always together. Jane was truly happy and for her sake Elizabeth tried to be happy as well.

Mr Bingley seemed to be looking for a chance to ask them to Netherfield, but without his sisters seemed unable to find a suitable reason for such an attention. Instead they invited him to Longbourn, he accepted most readily.

It was the first time she had really been in conversation with Mr Wickham since learning the truth of his history. He seemed ready to distinguish her by those attentions that had marked the very early part of their acquaintance.

"I have not had a chance to speak with you since your return from London. You enjoyed London then?" He began, to which she only smiled. "I have not had chance to speak to you properly since before the ball at Netherfield." He continued. "I am sorry I missed the pleasure of dancing with you there."

"I believe that considering the events after the ball it is of little matter," she replied at last.

"It was a surprise to hear of your engagement," he was searching her eyes for something.

"My acquaintance with Mr Collins has certainly not been long, but I do not see the reason for the surprise. He is a very eligible young man."

He smiled at this, "Yes, very eligible, but sometimes reason and sense do not always lead a strong head or a passionate heart. Sometimes reason is best left aside." His eyes were locked with hers, as if trying to make her understand his meaning.

"Without reason and sense even the most sensible head and heart can very easily be led astray."

"I had hoped – perhaps I say too much," he paused, as if waiting for encouragement. "But I had hoped that you would not be as sensible as you appeared."

"How so Mr Wickham?"

"I have not enjoyed the company of any young lady, as much as I have enjoyed yours."

Elizabeth opened her mouth to reply, she knew not what, when he turned a hurried from her, leaving her rather confused. Had he been implying what she thought he had been? No, it could not be.

Ever since she had heard Mr Darcy's confession, her opinion of both gentleman had changed. She had been struck that Mr Wickham had told her his story, when he had barely known her and she had been surprised that she had not noticed this before. But there was such an openness in his manner that she had found it hard not to believe him. And her opinion of Mr Darcy had been so well formed with so little reason that it was no wonder that she had believed his story.

It was one thing to try and elope with a young lady who he must have been fond of in order to gain access to her future, but this was quite another. No, she must have misunderstood his meaning. He must have just been surprised at her engagement to Mr Collins and was expressing it. She did, however, watch him out of the corner of her eye for the rest of the evening.

Mr Collins did arrive punctually and spent a great deal of the afternoon sitting with Mrs Bennet and her daughters. They had thought it best to tell him that Mr Bennet was ill, be that it was only a slight cold. As he was now so ill that they would not have been able to hide his illness to a house guest.

Mr Collins was delighted to see them all again, and spoke at great length about how pleased Lady Catherine was by his choice of bride. He made no mention of having seen them in London, or of Mr Darcy until they were on their own much later.

He smiled at Elizabeth, "Lady Catherine, my dear, has such Christian goodness of spirit that I am sure you will find her the very best of neighbours. Indeed, how could anyone think otherwise?And do not be alarmed, my dear Elizabeth, that she will be too hard on yourself about your little rebellion just after Christmas, Lady Catherine has declared that it will be quite forgotten after we are married, and of course, after Mr Darcy is married to her own daughter. For they will be married very soon."

Elizabeth had taken up her work as soon as she could and tried to focus all of her attention on it, rather than on him.

ooOoo

Darcy's business took longer then he had expected it to so, it was nearing three weeks before he was able to return to Hertfordshire again. Georgiana had enjoyed their stay a great deal, although he had not been able to spend as much time with her as they would have liked. She had learned how to stand up on her own on the ice in her skates, although she still fell when she moved around too fast on the ice.

She had had one letter from Elizabeth in reply to the one she had sent from London, which she had read him some of the passages of. He was pleased not to have been completely cut off from her. Elizabeth had not written in spirits, that much was clear.

"Why wont you let me come with you to Hertfordshire brother?" Georgiana had asked again one evening.

"You know every well," he replied, not looking up from the book he was reading.

"But if it is alright for you to be there, then surely it would be for me to join you?"

"I am not a young lady Georgiana. Men are blessed in some-ways and most certainly in matters like this."

She sighed, "but why should it be such an unpleasant matter? I do not see why at all?"

Darcy sometimes forgot just how young his sister was, or how little knowledge she had of the world. "I will speak frankly now but I will not do so again. If I am successful in my purpose, then the engagement between them, will not last much longer. However engagements once made public are almost as binding as a marriage is, at least as far as reputation is concerned."

"So you are worried about my reputation? But how can I be effected?"

"By being my sister. If everything goes to plan, then my involvement in the matter will not be known except as a friend of Mr Bingley's. However, these things do not always go to plan."

"But how could I be any more affected there then I would be in London? I am still your sister no matter how far away we are."

"That is true, but if you are in the neighbourhood there is a much larger risk. There is also one other reason I do not want you to go into Hertfordshire. Mr Wickham is staying in Meryton."

Georgiana started and coloured, she had not been expecting that. They never spoke of the events that had taken place at Ramsgate.

"Fitzwilliam, you can't believe me in danger from him now, surely?"

He studied her face for a moment or two before responding.

"No, I don't believe you in danger now. But I do wish to spare you any pain that it is in my power."

ooOoo

Elizabeth was upstairs with her father one morning when she heard the sound of someone at the door, her mother's voice carried upstairs, "Jane quickly, it is Mr Bingley."

Elizabeth decided to remain where she was, she was not in a mood to listen to Mr Collins and he had become in the habit of attaching himself to her the moment she appeared. Her father asked her to close the door so that they might not hear Mrs Bennet's joy.

ooOoo

Darcy was more then ready to see Elizabeth again, he had been away long enough and did not want to be away for as long again. He had arrived at Netherfield that morning and discovered that Bingley was planning on riding over to Longbourn, he decided to join him.

Mrs Bennet face fell when she saw him entering the room after his friend. Although she inquired after his journey and his sister. Miss Bennet smiled when she saw him and greeted him very warmly.

He was disappointed to find that Elizabeth was not present in the room and even more so that Mr Collins was. He bowed politely and began giving him news of his aunt.

"Lady Catherine was in the best of health just a few days ago Mr Darcy." He said with a bow, "She gave me a message to give you in case I saw you here. Her ladyship said to say that she looks forward to seeing to at Rosings with herself and her noble daughter this Easter."

"You are too kind," Darcy replied, taking the letter from Mr Collins' hand.

Bingley looked around and noticed that Elizabeth was missing from the room. "Where is Miss Elizabeth? I hope she is not unwell, for I had hoped to invite you all to dinner at Netherfield tomorrow night?"

Mrs Bennet smiled, that special smile she seemed to save just for him. "I am not sure where Lizzy is."

Miss Bennet stood quickly, "She is with father, I will get her."

"No, Jane. Leave her where she is." Mrs Bennet said firmly, she was still smiling but all the humour had gone from her voice. "Mr Bennet has a slight cold and dear Lizzy insists on sitting with him and reading to him. She is such a good girl." She directed the last part to Mr Collins, who smiled at this piece of news.

"Yes, she nursed Miss Bennet when she was ill at Netherfield last year." Bingley said with a smile, "after walking all the way to Netherfield."

Mr Collins started a little. "But is it not nearly three miles to Netherfield from here?"

"Lizzy does enjoy walking," Miss Bennet said, "she is always going off somewhere or other."

"Exercise is very good for us all," Mrs Bennet said looking at her eldest daughter a little oddly. "Lizzy only enjoys walking for her health of course. She does not go wandering about the country for the sake of it."

Darcy hid a smile at this. "And do you enjoy walking sir? There are many fine walks around Rosings." He asked Mr Collins, who seemed pleased at such an attention from such a quarter.

"Lady Catherine believes that walking is excellent exercise, but I do find more pleasure in attending my garden," Mr Collins replied.

The subject was dropped. Darcy hoped that Elizabeth would join them, however she remained upstairs with her father. He had hoped to speak to her, but he was sadly disappointed. Georgiana had given him a letter to give to her and he was planning on using it for a private moment or two with her.

When they stood to leave Bingley again impressed the dinner on them, Mrs Bennet looked around Miss Bennet before answering.

"I am not sure who will be able to come Mr Bingley, but it is so good of you to invite us. I do not want to leave my husband unattended but by servants. Jane will so, as I am sure will the younger sisters. Lizzy, however," she glanced at Mr Darcy before continuing, "I am not sure Mr Bennet can spare her. She has always been his favourite."

_Author's notes – thank you again to the people who reviewed the last chapter etc. I'm sorry this chapter took longer then planned, it has really been a crazy week. _


	17. Mrs Bennet's Interference

**Chapter XVII – Mrs Bennet's Interference**

Elizabeth came down just before dinner, leaving her father soundly asleep, to find that the guests had already left. Mrs Bennet was in a good mood and talked a great deal of how pleasant Mr Bingley had been. Jane was more quiet than normal. Elizabeth caught her eye, but Jane just shook her head, they would talk when they were on their own later that evening.

Mr Collins was also in a very good mood, he asked how Mr Bennet was.

"I believe he is a little better, he hopes he will be able to join us tomorrow," Elizabeth said, trying to make light of his illness.

"I am glad," Mr Collins said, "Lady Catherine always say that a drought of boiled holly bark in goat's milk is the very thing for a bad cold."

"I will be sure to arrange a drought for him tomorrow," Mrs Bennet said with a smile. "You are so kind to us Mr Collins."

"It is the most disagreeable thing in the world that my father should be ill," Lydia said suddenly, surprising her sisters, "for we cannot go out as much as we should like."

"Lydia!" Elizabeth warned, for she feared her sister would say something of the nature of his illness.

"I know you agree with me Lizzy. You are not an old married woman yet," Lydia continued boldly, "Aunt Philips misses our company a great deal and we should, as good nieces, go and wait on her. Do you not think, Mama?"

"Why yes my dear. Of course, you must go and visit my sister. And I am sure Mr Collins will go with you, will you not Mr Collins?"

"Indeed Madam, I would be honoured to see your most excellent sister again."

Lydia was delighted, "We shall go tomorrow then," she declared.

Jane retired to bed early that evening and Elizabeth soon followed her.

"Lizzy, I need to ask you a difficult question. Please understand that I would not ask it unless I felt it was important. But you must promise me to answer it truthfully?" Jane said.

"You are so serious tonight."

"This is not a joke Lizzy. Will you answer truthfully or not?" Jane said sternly.

Elizabeth sighed, "Of course I will."

"What is your opinion of Mr Darcy?"

Whatever Elizabeth had been expecting. it had not been that.

ooOoo

"Well, that was interesting," Bingley commented as they were leaving Longbourn.

"Indeed," Darcy replied as his horse was brought to him. "Do you think Mrs Bennet will actually stop her daughter coming for dinner?"

They mounted their horses and walked them slowly away, "Your guess is as good as mine. I will mention it next time I see Miss Bennet that we hope her sister will be coming with her. Now if we could arrange a way to have Mr Collins left behind."

They both laughed. "Let us hope Elizabeth Bennet will be there, and not pray for miracles," Darcy said and then on impulse, "What are you waiting for? Your happiness is not as complicated as mine, I would have thought you would jump at the chance to secure her elder sister?"

Bingley laughed again, "There is no rush, we have not been acquainted a six month yet. There is so much about her I have yet to discover. I am merely enjoying her company and hope of knowing her better in the future. I do not believe that I am in any danger of losing her to someone else."

Darcy smiled, "Bingley you are a luckier man than I. What I would not do, to be able to take my time in courting my lady."

"Your situation is not so bad. One only needs to watch Mr Collins and Elizabeth Bennet together for a few minutes to know there is no affection between them."

"Have you spoken to Miss Bennet about why the engagement exists in the first place?"

"We have," Bingley was choosing his words carefully, "however, she has said very little on the subject."

"Well, what did she say?"

ooOoo

"Why do you ask?" Elizabeth said quietly turning her back to her sister so that she could not see her face.

"Please Lizzy, answer the question."

"My opinion of him, you know how much I disliked him. I could not stand him, he was so proud and so disagreeable."

"And now?"

"I hardly know, I was completely wrong about him and he has been so attentive lately."

Jane was smiling, the sort of smile Elizabeth had seen on her face since their father became illness had begun. But it made her uneasy.

"Jane, don't smile like that at me."

"Oh, my dearest sister, I believe you are on your way to be very much in love."

"What, in love with Mr Darcy? How can you talk so?"

"Very easily, I believe he is very much in love with you too."

"No, Jane, you are mistaken."

"He has been very attentive to you, since he found out about your engagement. You were the only lady he asked to dance at the ball at Netherfield."

"No, Jane you are mistaken. Mr Darcy cares no more for me than he does for Kitty or Lydia. I was mistaken to judge him so hastily with no real reason to do so. But I am not in love with him, nor is he in love with me."

"I have watched him now for some time, ever since he dined with us and he coughed while drinking his wine. It is very clear, even my mother has seen something there."

"Mama has been acting very strangely around him. But I cannot believe that he is in love with me."

"She does not want you to go to the dinner at Netherfield, I will speak to her about it, and you will see for yourself if Mr Darcy is in love with you or not."

Jane did speak to Mrs Bennet about Elizabeth going to Netherfield and at last talked her mother into the idea. Mary was to stay with their father and as Elizabeth was the only other one who could play and so would not be involved in the dancing, Mrs Bennet agreed. Jane was not completely satisfied with this outcome, but it would do for now.

"It is such a pity, my dear Eliza, that I will not have the pleasure of dancing with you again," Mr Collins said very solemnly.

"I am sure there will be plenty of other chances." Elizabeth said, trying to remove herself from his presence.

"Indeed there will be. For I am sure you will realise very soon that we move in the first circles of society with the assistance of Lady Catherine."

ooOoo

"She said very little," Bingley said.

"Yes, you already said that." Darcy was getting irritated now.

"She explained about Longbourn being entailed, that Mr Collins is Mr Bennet's heir."

Darcy was surprised, not that entailments were uncommon but he had not thought it would be with five daughters belonging to the house, it was unfortunate for them, he had always for his sister's sake been pleased that Pemberley was not entailed. Not that she would need it with a fortune of £30 000. Elizabeth Bennet on the other hand was not nearly as lucky.

"I see, that explains why there are five of them," Darcy said after a long pause, they were almost back at Netherfield now, "but not why she felt she needs to marry him. Mr Bennet is not very old that they need to be worrying about that just yet, surely?"

"We could not get any further into the conversation as one of the younger girls come into the room, Miss Lydia I believe."

ooOoo

After breakfast that morning, Lydia reminded them of the plan to walk to Meryton to visit their aunt and as it was a fine morning and not too cold they agreed. Elizabeth declined as she would be leaving her father that evening, she did not want to be parted from him again.

"Lizzy, are you sure you will not join us?" Jane asked her quietly as she was putting on her gloves.

"Yes, I am sure. Give my apologizes to our aunt, for me please Jane," she said before she disappeared into her father's book-room. He had managed to get out of bed this morning and had come downstairs.

"Close the door my dear," he said as she entered the room. He was sitting by the fire, an open book resting on his knee. "I hear your sisters and Mr Collins are off to Meryton this morning and you got stuck looking after me?"

"You know very well, father, that I would much rather be here with you than anywhere else. Please try to rest." Elizabeth said as she picked up the book and was about to start reading from it when he interrupted her.

"Mr Collins came to see me again this morning, he is very insistent about fixing a date. I have stalled him as much as I can, but I doubt I will be able to stall him much longer. I fear my child that you must be Mr Collins' wife before the summer." Mr Bennet's face was lined and he looked older then she had seen him look before.

"So soon?"

"There is little else to be done. We can hope that Mr Bingley makes Jane an offer soon, but I fear it may be too late by then. I dare say he will sooner or later, and we can only hope for sooner."

"What can he be waiting for?" Elizabeth cried, "Jane has been encouraging him in every-way she can."

"Maybe I should send her away? A little distance will help him along?"

"Or make him forget her completely."

"I do not think there is any danger of that. I have seen them together. No one could doubt his affection," Mr Bennet said shifting around slightly, trying to get more comfortable. "One of the problems with being unwell, is not being able to move around enough and becoming stiff."

Elizabeth smiled sadly at him, as she moved his foot stool and arranged his pillow.

"Jane tells me that you will be joining her at Netherfield this evening and leaving me to Mary's care."

"If you do not want me to go father, I will stay with you."

"No child, of course you must go. I was merely thinking that Mary enjoys playing so much before company, that she must go as well. Your mother may stay at home with me and keep me company."

"But Mama said-"

"There is little I can do Elizabeth to insure the happiness of my daughters. If this one small act will bring pleasure to my daughters then I will do it. Will you call your mother for me?"

She smiled, "You are too good to us." After making sure he was comfortable she called her mother and left them alone in his book-room, she did not want to hear the conversation that took place.

She went to sit in the parlour and to write a letter to Charlotte Lucas. She had finished her letter and started one to Miss Darcy when her mother's voice reached her ears, "You have no regard for my nerves!"

Elizabeth stood quickly, not wanting to hear her parents argue. When Mrs Bennet's voice came again, "He is out to ruin us, if he had any interest in her, he would have acted like a gentleman and courted her before-"

She did not wait to hear anymore, she fled from the house into the garden hardly stopping to get her coat. She had been far too long indoors and was relived to be outside again, even if it was colder then she had thought.

She stopped running quite some distance from the house and sat down on a fallen tree log to rest for a minute or two. It was peaceful here. She needed to be away from Longbourn. Away from her mother. Away even from her father, for as much as she loved him, it was slowly killing her to watch him slip away. She knew she was watching him die. She had tried to ignore it for as long as she could but the truth was there. She had tried to tell herself that he was not dying, that he would get better. But there was a voice inside her who knew better and was smug about it.

She was tired, very tired. She had sat up all night with him. He had started vomiting late last night and only stopped in the early hours of the morning. She had not been able to tear herself from his side.

He tried to put on a brave face, but she had watch the way he moved, flinching in pain more and more. His eyes were slowly turning yellow and he seemed to get smaller with every passing day.

ooOoo

Darcy had left Netherfield early that morning, he was in no mood to sit and be still within doors. He was restless, there was little he could do, so he went for a ride. It was not long before he realised that his path was taking him towards Longbourn.

He debated a moment or two, he still had his sister's letter in his pocket. He did not know for sure if she would be joining them that evening or not. Mrs Bennet was determined to keep her second eldest daughter away from him. He decided against calling on her at Longbourn. Instead he turned further afield and enjoyed the winter landscape.

He dismounted from his horse and walked on, the air was cold but crisp and refreshing. There was a noise ahead of him and his horse moved uneasily. Slowly and carefully not making any noise he moved forward, in the hope of seeing a fox or maybe a deer.

As he rounded clump of tree he saw what had make the noise...

_Author's notes – thank you again to the people who reviewed, your comments mean a lot to me._

_I have given you quite a few hints what is wrong with Mr Bennet now. Any guesses?_


	18. A Quiet Walk

**Chapter XVIII – A Quiet Walk**

Elizabeth was not sure how long it was that she sat on the log for. She was slowly becoming aware just how cold she really was.

She could never recall what it was that made her glance up. But she had the strangest feeling that she was being watched. She stood and looked around, she thought she saw a shadow disappearing in the tree, but she was not sure. Something about it made her blood crawl. She could not understand it, she had lived in Hertfordshire all her life and she had never felt in the slightest uneasy before. But there was something telling her that she was not safe here.

She picked up her bonnet and walked on, she had the sense for awhile that she was being followed. She could feel her heart beat widely in her chest, every nerve ready to run if it became necessary. A noise behind her made her jump. She started to run. She could hear something, or maybe someone running behind her.

She could feel the tearing still running down her checks. The cold air was making her breath turn to mist. At last she could run no longer so she sank down behind a tree. The feeling of being watched had passed. She could hear no noise other than her own breathing and heart racing.

She did not know if it was her own imagination or not.

ooOoo

Darcy walked slowly, something told him to be careful. He caught a glimpse of red disappearing into the distance. But before he could follow he heard another noise coming from not far away.

It was Elizabeth Bennet.

Darcy came round the tree slowly not wanting to startle her. She seemed completely unaware of her surroundings and was shivering but breathing hard. There was a shiny patch on her check, which he could not identify at first. He was surprised to see tears running down her checks.

This was not the same woman who he had been dancing with a few weeks before, who had smiled at him and laughed with him. Her eyes had been alive and full of joy. Now, there were dark rings around then and they were red and swollen, her eyes seemed to have dulled. Her beautiful eyes, that had been the first thing he had fallen in love with. Her skin looked slightly unhealthy, her hair was pulled back from her face, in a style preferred by maids and not normally by gentleman's daughters.

He stood still for a full minute and merely watched her.

She raised a hand to her eyes and crossly brushed the tears away, he unable to remain still took a step towards her, the noise draw her notice and she glanced up.

"Mr Darcy," she said, going red from embarrassment, getting hastily to her feet.

He had covered the ground between them in a stride and was by her side. "Miss Bennet, is everythi-" He started to ask but she cut him off.

"Please forgive me," she said as she tried to rush passed him, he however caught her arm gently. He was going to try and insist that she tell him what was wrong, but feeling just how cold her hand was he quite forgot.

"You are freezing," Darcy said as he took his coat off and placed it around her shoulder, "we must go to Longbourn."

"No," she said angrily, trying to shake his coat off, "I am perfectly well here and not in the least cold." Her eyes flashed dangerously.

"Miss Bennet, I hate to disagree with you, but you are quite frozen and will catch your death if we remind outside for much longer."

She looked like she was about to argue again, but on looking at him direct she changed her mind. Her eyes soften slightly. "Well very, I will admit to being a little cold. But we cannot go to Longbourn, not yet anyway."

He was confused, "please allow me to lend you my coat at least then?"

"Very well. Just for a little while."

"And if you do not want to return home just yet, I would suggest we walk on a little to keep warm?"

She looked like she was going to object again, but did not. He placed his coat around her shoulders again and make sure it was secure. Elizabeth had her eyes cast down, she was trying to get control over her emotions and seemed to be losing slightly. Darcy, however, remained silent, allowing her time to regain control. They walked towards his horse and then on towards another clump of trees. A slight noise came from her, a sort of hiccup. He stole a glance at her and saw that tears were running freely down her checks again. He quietly took her hand in his squeezing it slight and continued walking with her arm resting on his.

ooOoo

As they walked on Elizabeth fought silently with herself trying to stop the flood of tears and emotions that kept coming forth, but as is so often the way with these things every time she thought she was making progress another sudden wave over came her. She was grateful for two things, firstly that her companion was not looking at her and that he was silent for the moment, and secondly that she was at least managing to keep the noise to a minimum.

Before Mr Darcy had appeared, she was only too well aware that she had not been crying quietly and she thought it very likely that it was the noise that had drawn him to her.

His great coat that was resting on her shoulders was helping warm her up again as was the walking, but she knew that they could not remain outdoors for much longer. He had looked at her with such compassion in his eyes earlier that she knew she was in very grave danger of telling him all of her troubles.

Without warning he took her hand in his, without looking at her. She was grateful for the warmth that their close proximity was generating.

ooOoo

They walked on in silence for quite some time, Darcy continued to glance at her every now and then and was fairly convinced that she had regained control of her emotions again, although her face was still damp. When he was sure she was more composed he took out a handkerchief and handed it to her, she took it without a word and brushed away the tears that were still lingering on her checks.

He was beginning to worry that they would have to part company before she spoke again. He found himself wishing for nothing more than to hear the sound of her voice.

"Thank you," she said at last.

"You are more than welcome, Miss Bennet."

"Where were you riding to? I hope I have not kept you from anything important?"

Darcy paused, considering his answer carefully. "I was merely enjoying a ride through the countryside. So, no, you are not keeping me from anything important."

She smiled at his answer, although she would not look him in the eye.

"Mr Bingley is looking forward to this evening a great deal," Darcy continued, smiling at her. She, however, did not smile at this and quickly changed the subject.

"My sisters walked into Meryton this morning. Although the day is turning out to be cooler than we had suspected."

"Are you still cold Miss Bennet? Should we not return to Longbourn?"

"Not at all Mr Darcy. Walking is just what I need, at the moment, to stay warm."

He tightened his grip on her arm, as if worried she might try and pull it free, "I am glad to hear it. Georgiana and I have not spent a winter at Pemberley for many years. In fact not since long before my father died. I had forgotten how much I enjoy the country during this season."

"But surely London has so much more to offer to a gentleman such as yourself?"

"I am beginning to believe that the best that life has to offer can be found in small country neighbourhoods such as this one."

He did not add "as you are here." But he did have the pleasure of seeing her blush. It did not last long, she soon recovered and continued, "The country is delightful, but I believe there are time when it is too confining."

"In terms of society, yes indeed. But in terms of space and freedom? London is too full of people, in the county if you want a little space and freedom all you have to do is go for a walk."

"Now there you have me. I have not spent enough time in London to be a fair judge, but there are times when the confines of indoors are too much."

Darcy stood still and turned to look at her, so she could not look away. "Miss Bennet, please forgive me if I ask too much. But what brought you out today and distressed you so?"

She swallowed slightly, "I had hoped you would not-" She shook her head. "I believe it is best not to speak of it, not yet anyway."

"Miss Bennet, please believe me when I say that I have your best interests at heart. I would not pressure you to say something you do not want to tell me. But, that being said, if you do want to speak to me of something, you can be assured that it will remain secret."

"Thank you, Mr Darcy. It is good to know that you are a friend."

He recoiled slightly at the word, the idea of being nothing more than a friend to the woman in front of him was more alarming than he could put into words. However, after a moment of thought he forced a smile and they continued on their way. At last Elizabeth was willing to admit that it was indeed very cold and that she would like to return to the house. If they had remained outdoors much longer, Darcy would have feared for both for the health of both parties, but mostly for Elizabeth.

They walked back to Longbourn. Darcy was pleased to soon be sitting in the parlour by the fire, a cup of hot tea in his hands. The house was quiet, Elizabeth had asked one of the servants where the rest of the family was when they entered. Her sisters and Mr Collins had not yet returned from Meryton, having gone to call on their aunt and uncle who lived there. Mr Bennet was in his room and Mrs. Bennet had gone to call on Lady Lucas.

So Darcy had the delight of enjoying Elizabeth's company on his own in a much more comfortable setting than tramping through the winter countryside. He knew he could not stay long, for at any moment Mr Collins could appear in the doorway. But he found he could not leave. He attempted to do so several times, but each time he was about to begin his farewell Elizabeth would look at him with such a smile on her face, her eyes dancing. Gone was the creature he had come across sitting on the log. She still looked tired, but she seemed more relaxed, more herself.

ooOoo

Elizabeth was surprised by Mr Darcy's behaviour. And it was not helping her, that every time she looked him in the eye she remembered the conversation that she and Jane had had. He couldn't be in love with her. No, of course he wasn't. Nor was she falling in love with him.

But then, he had been so attentive. He had given her his coat and handkerchief, he had been the perfect gentleman. He had asked what was wrong, but not pressed her to confide in him. She knew that she owed him some explanation for her behaviour.

They met Hill as they entered the house and Elizabeth was relieved to hear that her mother had left the house, she kept Hill back for a moment after Mr Darcy had entered the parlour on the pretense of ordering some tea, to ask after her father.

"He is asleep for the moment Miss Elizabeth. Sarah is with him."

"Thank you Hill. Please call me when he wakes."

"Certainly, Miss."

Elizabeth felt more at ease than she had since her return from London. Having confronted her emotions for once rather than continually pushing them to the back of her mind was a relief. She knew she had to be strong for her father's sake.

She returned to the parlour to see Mr Darcy standing by the window, as he so often did. She took a seat near the fire, and warmth slowly returned to her fingers and toes. Hill returned shortly with tea and Mr Darcy joined her by the fire. They spoke for a while of the books they had been reading lately, of his sister and generally every topic but the ones that consumed the thoughts of both. At length Elizabeth knew she could no longer delay in explaining at least a little.

"You have been very kind in not mentioning the state that you found me in."

"Not at all."

"I feel I owe you some kind of explanation for it."

"If you wish it. But you do owe me anything." There was such compassion his voice that she nearly forgot herself. She was able, however, to pull herself together after a moment. She had planned on only telling him that her father's condition was worse than was generally known but now, she wanted to confide in him completely.

"I believe you are aware that my father is not well at the moment?"

"Yes, Mr Bingley mentioned he has a cold."

She could not mean his eyes, she knew she would not be able to speak. "It is sadly more than a mere cold. Mr Jones does not expect him to live more than a few months."

He stood suddenly, quite startling her. He walked up and down the room, deep in thought. He stopped before her.

"And he is quite sure?"

She nodded, unable to speak for the moment, as she fought to control her emotions again.

"Is there no hope at all?"

She looked down at her hands, "No, none. He has done everything in his power." Mr Darcy sat down again, drawing his chair closer to hers and took her hands in his.

"I am truly sorry Miss Bennet, he is a good man." He spoke quietly, but firmly.

They sat in silence for a minute or two. Elizabeth's thoughts seemed to have come to a standstill. She was aware only of the noises around her, of the crackling of the fire in the hearth, of the distant voices of the servants as they went about their duties in the rest of the house, of her own heart beating loudly in her ears and of Mr Darcy's hands holding hers.

The front door opened and Mr Collins voice carried through from the hallway. "Such an elegant woman and so attentive to her nieces. Mrs. Philips is indeed a very fine lady. I am sure that Lady Catherine would approve of her-"

Elizabeth turned her head towards the door, suddenly aware of the danger of being caught by Mr Collins alone in the company of Mr Darcy. He seemed likewise aware of the risk, he had risen to his feet.

"You must come tonight." He whispered, he bowed quickly and the fled the room. She stood quickly herself, gathered his tea cup, and hid it behind a statue of a horse that stood on one of the side tables. She resumed her seat, picking up a book as she did so and opened it.

Mr Collins entered the parlour followed by Jane.

"Ah, there you are, Elizabeth." Mr Collins said, "I trust you have had a pleasant morning."

"Indeed. How did you find my aunt, well I hope?"

"Aunt Philips is well, yes." Jane said before Mr Collins could answer. "She asked after you of course."

_Author's notes – thank you again to the people who reviewed etc, I really do enjoy reading your comments and guesses. It is beginning to scare me just how many people are reading this._

_I __apologize__ for the delay in posting again, the real world has been quite annoying lately as it has been demanding so much of my time and energy. I have quite a couple of weeks ahead of me, but some good news I will be on leave for most of April so I will be writing a lot during my three and half weeks off!_


	19. Dinner at Netherfield Park

**Chapter XIX – Dinner at Netherfield**

Darcy did not waste anytime leaving Longbourn, he had no desire for a repeat of the ball. As long as Mr. Collins was in the area, he would have to keep his time with Elizabeth quiet and not draw attention to it. He went quietly from the room, passing the servant who had brought them tea. She seemed to understand his haste and pointed to a door, he opened it and saw the kitchen. Another servant stood by the fire, boiling water, he did not wait for her to notice him. He crossed quickly to the door on the other side of the room and let himself out. He found himself standing in a small kitchen garden, he quickly slipped around the stables where his horse was tethered.

He kept replaying the conversation over and over in his mind, looking for some expression or comment that he had missed or misunderstood. But none came. This was what he had been searching for, the missing piece of the puzzle. He finally understood her. Why she had accepted Mr. Collins. Her father was dying, the estate entailed. With four sisters still unmarried and a mother to think of, she had put their needs above her own.

As the mother-in-law and sisters-in-law of the heir they would be able to live at Longbourn as long as they needed. They would be safe. His thoughts went to his sister, what would have happened to her if he was not there after their father's death.

He could not blame her for that. If only he hadrealizedher situation sooner it might have been them that were engaged. No, he could not blame her for that!

ooOoo

Elizabeth did not stay downstairs long after the departure of Mr. Darcy, Hill had come to inform her that Mr. Bennet was awake and asking for her. Relived to have an excuse to leave Mr. Collins's company and not be present when her mother returned to the house, she went quickly to her father. He was sitting up in his bed, his face pale and his eyes heavy.

"There you are, my dear," His voice was horse and speaking was clearly painful for him.

"Oh Papa."

"We will not speak of that now, there is something else. Your mother will stay with me this evening." He paused for a moment, his eyes closed. Elizabeth alarmed went to his side.

She sat with him until he fell asleep again. She only left his side when Jane came to call her to get ready for their evening engagement at Netherfield.

"Mama will be with him." Jane said quietly, trying to reassure her sister.

"I know, but he looks so weak."

Jane gripped her hand, unable to say what they were both thinking. They got dressed and did their hair in silence.

Mr. Collins was waiting for them downstairs, Mary standing close by, listening to him patiently.

"Ah, my dear Elizabeth." Mr. Collins greeted her, "you look very well indeed. I am sure Lady Catherine would like that dress very much. It puts me in mind of one of Miss de Bourgh's simpler gowns that she wore one morning at Rosings."

Thankful he was interrupted by the arrival and Kitty and Lydia who joined them rather noisily.

"Jane do you know who else is going to be there tonight?" Kitty asked.

"It cannot only be Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy. There must be at least some officers there." Lydia added.

"I am not sure, Mr. Bingley was going to ask a few others," Jane said thoughtfully, "but he did not mention who he was planning on asking."

"We shall see when you arrive." Mary piped in.

"La, how dull you all are. How can you not know Jane? You are basically en-" Lydia was silenced by Elizabeth standing on her foot. "Ow! Lizzy, that was my foot."

"Oh dear, I am sorry Lydia. Is that the carriage?" Elizabeth said, smiling at Jane, who was trying hard not to laugh.

Elizabeth was not in a humour to be dinning out, she did not like the idea of leaving her father, his situation was steadily growing worse. She was also worried about seeing Mr. Darcy again. She was worried that she had made a mistake in telling him about her father.

They entered the drawing room at Netherfield and found that they were not the first to arrive. Colonel Foster was standing near the fire with one or two of the officers, who Elizabeth did not know. She did not see Mr. Darcy at first, but then she spotted him standing by himself in a dark section of the room, looking out of a window. She resolved not to think of him again this evening. Her mother was right, it would be better if she did think about him at all. This, however, the gentleman in question made quite impossible.

There were a few other gentleman and one or two other ladies. Mr. Bingley had done well gathering a small group together. The question of music had also been resolved, he had hired two violinists to play for them.

It was not until the gentleman joined the ladies in the drawing room after dinner that the dancing began. Mr. Collins very quickly asked Elizabeth to dance, she reluctantly agreed. Mr. Bingley however soon came to her rescue and asked her to dance for the next.

Mr. Collins was of course nearly always by her side, which made conversation with others quite difficult, andthough Jane and Mary engaged as much of his attention as they could, however he always found away back to Elizabeth's side. Luckily, he was not as used to an evening of exercise as the rest of the company and was soon forced to sit down and dance no more. Elizabeth was relieved by this and was beginning to enjoy herself again until she realized that his eyes were following her every movement.

ooOoo

Darcy was in a foul mood. It did not help that Elizabeth's younger sisters were joining them tonight and in such a small group he was forced to listen to their insipid chatter. He was not in mood to converse with anyone other thanElizabeth, but he feared speaking with her. Since discovering the truth it was both easier and harder to understand her.

Watching Mr. Collins hovering over her, his hand rest possessively on her arm, made him feel physically ill. He could not risk paying her any attention, not right under Mr. Collins's nose. He was forced to watch her from afar.

ooOoo

Elizabeth was pleased to see Jane smiling and happy. Both she and Mr. Bingley seemed very happy. Lydia and Kitty were happily dancing with some of the officers. Colonel Foster it seemed was recently engaged and would be returning to South Hampton at the end of next week for the wedding.

Mr. Collins safely asleep, Elizabeth slipped away from the main group to get some fresh air, opening a door to a balcony. She stood with the cold air rushing over her face. It was refreshing after the heat and stuffiness of the drawing room. She turned back to watch the dancing, leaving the door ajar to let the cool air play across her.

She realized suddenly that she was not alone. She could feel his breath on her check, she knew who it was, for she could recognise his scent, mix of sandalwood, cigar smoke and something else she could not quite identify.

"You cannot abide the sight of him can you?" Mr. Darcy spoke quietly so that no one other than herself might hear, not that there was much chance of that as the others were all still dancing in the next room.

She did not turn to answer him, for fear of bumping into him for he was so close to her. "I do not see what concern it is of yours what my feelings are for Mr. Collins."

He moved even closer to her, his month inches from her ear. "I fail to grasp understand why you of all people are marrying without affection. You are the last people in the world who I would have thought would marry for anything less than love."

"And since when have you been an expert on my character?" She said angrily, how dare he? He did not know her. How could he assume that he understood her or her reasons?

"I have seen enough of your character to understand that you would be miserable married to him."

"And what concern isit of yours who I marry or how I live?"

"Are you so blind that you have not understood?"

She was determined not to look at him, or to understand what he meant. It was easier not to. She focused on what she could see of the others dancing through the open door and not on the infuriating man standing behind her. He was equally as stubborn and he pulled her further into the shadows and forcefully turned her to face him. She did not make any noise, for she feared drawing Mr. Collins's attention to them, or anyone else for that matter.

"I don't have the pleasure of understanding you." She said, with her eyes were fixed anywhere but on his face.

"This is no time to play games."

"I am perfectly serious."

"Just answer me this. Do you love him?" His face was very close to hers.

"You should have done something before if your intentions were honourable." Her temper finally got the better of her. "It is too late now."

"No its not."

"You had months to act. And yet you choose not to."

"I struggled against it for sometime, but it has overcome me. The difference in our situations, the lack of connection, total want of propriety so frequently, so almost uniformly betrayed by your mother, by your three younger sisters, and occasionally even by your father." There was anger in his voice, although he still spoke quietly. He had not released his grip on her upper arms. He squeezed them as he spoke. "It pains me to offend you."

She felt the tears stringing at her eyes and tried in vain to free herself of his grip.

"But amidst your concern for your nearest relations and your displeasure at this representation of them, let it give you consolation to consider that, to have conducted yourselves so as to avoid any share of the like censure, is praise no less generally bestowed on you and your eldest sister, than it is honourable to the sense and disposition of both."

She was struggling to free herself, tears rolling freely down her checks now. Although she still had not made a noise.

"Please do not cry," he spoke softly, the anger had gone from his voice. He raised his gloved hand to her check and brushed away the tears. The gesture awoke something inside of her.

"From the very beginning - from the first moment, I may almost say - of my acquaintance with you, your manners, impressing me with the fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit, and your selfish disdain of the feelings of others, were such as to form that groundwork of disapprobation on which succeeding events have built so immoveable a dislike; and I had not known you a month before I felt that you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to connect myself with." She heard her own voice. "And since discovering my engagement to Mr. Collins your behaviour to me and only me has been has improved, so much so that I doubt the motivation for it."

He coloured as she spoke. She remembered what her mother had said that very morning, if his intentions were honourable he would have courted her before.

"You doubt my motives?"

"I had thought worse of you until that afternoon in London when you explained your history of Mr. Wickham. However your behaviour has changed so much towards me that I cannot find any reason for it that suggests the conduct of a gentleman."

"I will not waste what time trying to persuade you when you so clearly will not be. But I must insist that you answer one question and decided from that what my motives are."

"Very well."

"Will it make you happy if you marry Mr. Collins?"

Elizabeth hesitated, she knew she should say yes. She had agreed to marry him with her eyes open, she had done it so that her mother and sisters would be happy. They were still standing very close together, his hands holding hers.

"I will be content."

"I asked if you would be happy?"

The music stopped and the others next door started clapping. He looked at her in alarm, his eyes pleading with her to answer him, his grip on her arm was tight, firm but not painful. His face very close to hers. She had never seen him look so vulnerable.

"Please answer me before they come."

"No," she said and then after a second added, "not at all."

His grip eased and she fled back to the safety of the drawing room.

_Author's notes – Again I __apologize__ for the delay in posting, I hope the content of this chapter makes up slightly for the time, work has been particularly mad last week and I have hardly had a moment to myself as I had to get my things in order, and my internet keeps going down. So I am able to post at the moment only due to my husband's iphone._

_Thank you again to everyone who reviewed etc, as always your feedback is very welcome and it really does make my day to hear that you are enjoying my little retelling of Jane Austen's masterpiece. And a special thanks to____gracie789__ who reviewing so many times after the last chapter._


	20. Not Looking Back

**Chapter XX – Not Looking Back**

"_You are now at a crossroads. This is your opportunity to make the most important decision you will ever make. Forget your past. Who are you now? Who have you decided you really are now? Don't think about who you have been. Who are you now? Who have you decided to become? Make this decision consciously. Make it carefully. Make it powerfully."_

_Anthony Robbins_

His grip eased and she fled back to the safety of the drawing room.

Elizabeth wiped her eyes just before she entered the room. She was relieved to see that no one in the room had noticed her disappearance or sudden reappearance. Jane was laughing at something Mr Bingley had just said, her eyes alive with delight.

Elizabeth took her place next to her sister and smiled in a reassuring way. Jane hardly noticed, her attention was fixed completely on Mr Bingley. Elizabeth could not blame her, she had enough to worry about.

It was while she was watching her sister with Mr Bingley as they talked of Town that the thought occurred to her. She did not know where it had come from, in a way she knew that she had always known it. It was time. They could continue like this indefinitely but they would not get anywhere. Nothing would have changed, even if Mr Bingley proposed to Jane tonight, it would not solve their problems. Her father would still be dying. Mr Collins would still be waiting.

Jane and Mr Bingley deserved time, their courtship should not be rushed, they had only known each other for a few months. There was no way out, she had chosen this with her eyes open. For once she would do what her mother had advised, she had to forget Mr Darcy and focus on the life ahead of her and be happy with the happiness of her family.

Lydia came towards her, her eyes alive with delight.

"Lizzy, what fun this was. It is so much nicer to have a small dance arranged than going to dinner and dancing as an afterthought. Do not you think?"

Elizabeth smiled and agreed with her youngest sister as she glanced again at Jane and Mr Bingley. She did not allow herself to look in Mr Darcy's direction, she knew where he was without looking. She could almost sense his presence.

ooOoo

Darcy released his grip on her arm. Watched as she ran from him as fast as she could. Her face turned from him. Darcy could not believe what had just taken place. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have let his emotions get out of control?

But he had had to know. It was more than he could stand to see that odious little man be anywhere near Elizabeth. It was pure hell, not only to watch Mr Collins taking liberties with her, no that was bad enough. Knowing that it was Mr Collins and not himself that was the one who was allowed to. To call her by her Christian name, to hold her hand. It was Mr Collins who she had promised to marry and not him. And the thing that haunted his dreams, was what would liberties Mr Collins would take in the future.

He knew that dwelling on these thoughts would not do him any good. He needed a glass of port. He followed Elizabeth into the other room, keeping his expression as blank as possible. He was grateful that no one noticed that her eyes were red and that his voice was not quite his own. Not that he spoke to anyone for several minutes. He was tempted to go and speak to her again before she left for the evening, he was about to give into the temptation when the realization that he had nothing to say dawned on him. He had no explanation to give, no excuse to make. His behaviour was inexcusable. She was right, this was his fault as his alone.

She was in an impossible situation, her father was dying, her mother and sisters would be penniless. He had made a choice. She had set-aside her own happiness for theirs. She had sacrificed herself for them. He sighed deeply, what a fool he had been, to allow her lack of connections, the behaviour of her mother and younger sisters to influence his forming designs on her sooner. It was only when he had discovered the engagement that he had realized his own feels for her. And now, when all hope seemed lost to him, they would drive him mad by what have been.

She was also as lost to him as she could ever be. He doubted that they would ever share any more of those intimate moments that he had come to rely on. He should have acted sooner. If only he had not been as cold, if he had been as easy as Bingley. He had thought his friend was a fool, but he realized that it was he that was the fool and not Bingley. No Bingley would be happy with her sister. His attentions had been so marked that no one could have doubted him. If only he, Darcy, had acted in a similar manner it might have been one of her younger sisters, who Mr Collins had decided on and she would have been blissfully free. But such thoughts only seemed to serve in tormenting him.

He watched her, unable to prevent himself. He caught her eye, once, very briefly. She looked away and said something to her sister, Mary. She did not so much as look in his direction for the rest of the evening. She spoke little to anyone. Mr Collins had woken up again, and was sitting by her side, speaking solemnly to her.

He sipped at his coffee, although it may as well have been muddy water for all he tasted of it, he just wanted the evening to be over, for it to ever have taken place. He had reduced the woman he loved to tears, and had forced to her say what he knew and had only brought pain to both of them. He was not sure he would be able to live with himself after that.

He was determined not to allow her to go home without attempting to make amends and he got his chance just before the Longbourn party left. Bingley was talking to Mr Collins, the ladies, other than Elizabeth, were fetching their wraps. She was still in the drawing room, looking for something she had dropped. He did not know what he was planning on saying to her, but she broke the silence.

"It would be better if you left Mr Darcy."

He stared at her, hardly able to understand what she was saying, it was so foreign to him.

"Hertfordshire, I meant."

"If that is what you wish madam, then I will of course leave."

She nodded mutely, unable to meet his eye. "It will be simpler."

He knew then that he had lost her. She would marry Mr Collins. There was nothing he could do.

"Then please allow me to wish you every happiness."

"Thank you."

He turned to go and then paused. He could not allow, he could not permit her to suffer any more than she had to. If there was anything he could do to relive her pain, than he would do it. "Miss Bennet, I will leave, but only once you have made me a promise."

ooOoo

Bingley was concerned about his friend. Darcy had never been the most social creature, but he was becoming the most unsocial person Bingley knew. He had not joined in the dancing once. It was a pity that Mr Collins was in the neighbourhood this evening, but really, he could not dance with Elizabeth Bennet all evening.

He had noticed that they had both disappeared for a few minutes at the same time. But not thought too much of it until he had seen Elizabeth Bennet's face when she had returned to the room, and seen Darcy's lack of expression.

Something had passed between them, but he was not likely to find out what it was. He glanced at Jane Bennet, and saw that she too had noticed her sister's face but was choosing not to say anything about it. He followed her lead and talked of Town.

He had planned on proposing to Jane Bennet in the next few days, but she seemed so concerned for her sister's happiness that he thought it best to delay things a little longer. He had watched Mr Collins quite closely that evening. He was not at all suited to Elizabeth Bennet, he did not think that Mr Collins would continue with the engagement much longer, and from what Miss Bennet had said Mr Bennet was insisting on a long engagement. Once he broke it off, Darcy would be able to take his place and they would both be in a better humour. And so would Jane Bennet.

No, it could not be long at all. It was such a pity it was the middle of winter, had it been late spring or summer they could have gone for a picnic, Mr Collins did not look like the sort of person who would enjoy a picnic. That was the problem with winter, one was forced to remain within-doors. Riding was one way, but would not help in this case. While Jane Bennet was a decent horsewoman, Elizabeth Bennet on the other-hand, was not. No, that was not the solution either.

ooOoo

Her surprise was extreme. What possible promise could he want from her? His tone expressed a seriousness she had not expected. It was clear that whatever the promise was he wished her to make was important to him. There was of one thing which her fancy told her– but no, she did not even give it the credit of a second thought. She could not think so low of him to assume that.

"What promise would you have me make?"

"If you find yourself in need of assistance you will mention it in one of your letters to Georgiana. No matter what assistance it is you require."

"You know I cannot promise you that."

"Why ever not?"

"Mr Darcy, what you ask is impossible. You know it is. You are too moral a man-" She looked him in the face and what she saw there scared her more that she would admit. "It is better for both of us this way. You must surely see that?"

"This is all I ask. Grant me this and I will leave to rejoin my sister, never to bother you again."

Knowing very well that she would never do what he wished she reluctantly agreed.

ooOoo

Mr Darcy left for London the next day, Mr Bingley brought them the news of it later that day. Mr Bingley could not account for his behaviour, and told them as much. Mrs Bennet was very pleased with the outcome, she smiled and told Mr Bingley how sorry they were that his friend should have stayed for such a short time.

"I do hope that your own plans to stay in the neighbourhood have not changed by his leaving you so soon? For we would miss your company a great deal." Mrs Bennet asked sweetly. Mr Bingley said that he was not sure what his plans were. The visit continued pleasantly enough, despite Mrs Bennet's delight in Mr Darcy's leaving the area.

Mr Collins left soon after, although not without a long talk with Mrs Bennet and a much shorter one with Mr Bennet about trying to move the wedding up. Elizabeth did not voice her opinion on the matter, for she knew it would not please Jane or her father. She was resigned to her fate, and the sooner that fate arrived to claim her the better, for she would have less time to talk herself out of this course of action. She had made her bed and now she would have to sleep in it. It was the only thing to do.

_Author's notes – I remembered that I used to include quotes at the beginning of each chapter and liked it, so I am starting it again._

_I have very little to say to explain why this post took so long, other than this chapter was harder to write than I had thought, I hadn't a clear idea what was going to happen next, the fight needed to take place, but it took me a while to figure out what came next. I have also written a chapter that will not appear for a little bit as it would be in the wrong order. Any thoughts on what __Mr__ Darcy will do now he has been dismissed?_

_Anyway I hope you enjoyed this happy, sorry again for the long wait. Thank you to everyone who reviewed etc..._


	21. Georgiana's Letter

**Chapter XXI – Georgiana's Letter**

"_To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart."_

_Phyllis Theroux_

Things returned to normal for Elizabeth, well as close to normal as things could be. Mr. Darcy and Mr. Collins left the neighbourhood, her father was no worse and spring was finally beginning to appear. Elizabeth spent most of her time, that she was not with her father, outside walking through her favourite haunts. She was determined not to focus on the unpleasantness that the future held for her and rather to focus on the present and those few aspects of the future that gave her pleasure. She understood that Kent was a very beautiful county, which had much to recommend it, and she would be able to return to Longbourn and call it home again, with her mother and sisters around her.

That was a pleasant thought and she would not think of the two events that would bring this state of affairs around. Her marriage to Mr. Collins, and the greater evil, the death of her beloved father. He was in a great deal of pain, she knew, although he hardly ever mentioned it. She knew he would rather his remaining time was spent enjoying the company of his two favourite daughters, rather than dwelling on the pain and the illness that would one day kill him.

Mrs. Bennet was still very pleased by Mr. Darcy's going away and Mr. Bingley's continued attentions to Jane. As she put it, even though they were in no danger since Lizzy was to marry Mr. Collins, it was nice to have a little more certainty.

The date of the wedding had finally been set, before Mr. Collins had left for Kent, for the middle of March. He was very pleased by this, as it would mean that Elizabeth would meet Lady Catherine at Easter, and would have a special service to witness him in action for the first time as he put it. He seemed to have forgotten that Elizabeth had already been introduced to the great lady, however briefly, in London. Elizabeth thought it best not to remind him of this.

ooOoo

Jane was not at all pleased by this turn of events. Mr. Darcy gone and Elizabeth quiet and playing Mr. Collins's dutiful future wife. Her hopes now rested entirely on Mr. Bingley, who did not seem to realise the need for urgency. Elizabeth had hardly said a word during the days that followed the dance at Netherfield and had simply listened to Mr. Collins. Lydia and Kitty had had a great deal of fun and were looking forward to their next chance to dance. Lydia was very loud in her hope that there would be more officers next time.

However, Elizabeth's withdrawn manner was missed by the rest of the family. She had watched Mr. Darcy and was convinced of his regard for her sister. To leave the county so quickly, she was sure that something had happened between them. But Elizabeth would not admit that there was anything in their relationship, he was an acquaintance, she would say.

With their father's health no better she knew there was a real need for urgency. But all she could do was wait for Mr. Bingley to make his move and pray that he did it sooner rather than later.

ooOoo

Georgiana was confused, her brother had left for Hertfordshire just a few days ago to see Elizabeth, but he was back in London again. She had not yet had a reply to her last letter, which Fitzwilliam had taken to Hertfordshire and given to Elizabeth himself. She knew he was in an ill temper, for he had hardly said a word since arriving. She had tried asking about his return to London but only received a very curt answer in return. Which did not explain any of the events.

After dinner, she decided to try one more time.

"Brother, do you have a reply for me from Hertfordshire?"

Fitzwilliam coloured for a second, "No, I'm afraid not." He rose from his seat, and stood by the fireplace, looking down at the burning wood.

Georgiana was determined not to let the subject be dropped continued on with a boldness she did not feel.

"Did you hear Elizabeth play any of the music I sent her? I do so hope that she liked Mendelssohn's Wedding March."

Fitzwilliam's back was to her, so she could not see his face. "I did not have the pleasure." His voice was stand enough, but there was a formal quality about it that he did not normally use with her.

Georgiana continued again, "I would like to know if she liked it, it is one of my favourite pieces. I am sure she would play it very well."

"Perhaps you should visit her in Hertfordshire and then you could hear her for yourself. I'm sure Miss Bingley would love to join her brother and take you with her."

Georgiana's surprise at his words was great, only a few days ago Fitzwilliam was not willing to let her anywhere near Hertfordshire and now?

"To Netherfield?"

"Yes, unless you would like to stay at the Inn?"

"But what about -" here Georgiana's forced courage failed her. She was unable to say his name. She would be able to one day, when it felt like a dream, something that had happened to another girl. But it was much too fresh in her mind.

"I thought you wanted to see the Miss Bennets again?" His voice was firm, but he did not sound like himself.

"Yes, I do. But-"

"Well then it's settled then. You must speak to Miss Bingley tomorrow. I will have the carriage waiting for you at 10 o'clock. I will write to Mr. Bingley."

And with that he had left the room. Georgiana heard the sound of his study door closing and knew that she would not see him again that evening. She knew not what to make of any of it. Why was he back in London, when Elizabeth was still in Hertfordshire and still engaged to Mr. Collins? And why was he sending her to Netherfield?

What ever the reason it was clear that he wanted her to be there, enough to place her in the same place as George Wickham. At least she would be able to spend some time in the country and Elizabeth had mentioned she loved to walk. She could ride, she did not often have the chance to ride, but she did love it.

She went quite happily to bed that night, in the knowledge that she would be helping her brother and that she would be seeing Elizabeth soon.

ooOoo

Jane was sitting by the window of her room. It was a misty morning, she saw a horse and a man in a blue coat ridding out of the mist and towards the house. She knew it must be Mr. Bingley, and she was very happy to see him. Although there was a certain tension that she felt every-time she saw him. Laying her book down, she slowly got to her feet, waiting for her mother's summons telling her that he had arrived. She smiled when she heard her mother's voice, "Jane, come downstairs, Mr. Bingley will be here any second."

She glanced at her father's door on her way downstairs, Elizabeth was still inside with him. Although she knew from Sarah that Mr. Bennet was asleep. Elizabeth seemed to think that if she left his side even for a moment he would move on. They had always been so close. She had been a little jealous as a child, but when she was a little older it made her smile. They were not like in temper, but there was a similarity in the turn of their minds that the rest of the family did not possess. She knew that Elizabeth would be harder hit when their father did die than the rest of the family. She considered herself a loving a dutiful daughter, but Lizzy was is many ways like the son that the Bennets' had never had. At least as far as their father was considered.

She remembered how it was Lizzy who Mr. Bennet had taken out with him when he visited the tenants on the estate. Jane had been left to sooth her mother and help with the younger girls. She had never minded, she preferred dolls and dresses to trees and cows. It was Lizzy who he turned to when he needed a second option.

"Jane, where are you?"

"Coming Mama."

It was on one of these trips that Lizzy's dislike of riding had come from, on a misty morning just like today. She had nearly been killed when she was about twelve years old. She had fallen from the horse she was ridding. They had been out early that morning, Jane could not remember why. She had stood by the door, watching them ride off, Kitty wrapped around her leg and Lydia crying in the distance. She had turned away to calm Lydia and thought no more of the mist. It had been about an hour later when a manservant had rushed through, saying that he had to get the doctor, that Miss Elizabeth had had a nasty fall. A few minutes later her father had rushed through, with Lizzy in his arms. She had never since him as scared as he had been that day, his face white. She had only looked at her sister later, and seen the blood. So much blood.

Jane passed Hill on her way, she had a small tray with some letters on it and was walking towards Mr Bennet's room. "For the master and Miss Elizabeth." She said.

"Put the letters in my father's study Hill." She said quietly, "He is asleep at the moment. Give Elizabeth her letter when she leaves my father's room."

Jane entered the drawing morning to find Mr. Bingley, Mary and Mrs. Bennet. Mary was sitting quietly in a corner reading, while Mrs. Bennet was engaged in conversation with Mr. Bingley. He stood as she entered.

"Ah, there you are my dear. I was just telling Mr. Bingley I had called you and could not imagine what had been keeping you." Mrs. Bennet smiled fondly at her.

Jane greeted Mr. Bingley politely as he bowed to her. While she took her place quietly by Mary, Mr. Bingley sat down again.

"I have some good news Miss Bennet that I think will please you." He began in his natural good humoured manner. "Or at least I hope very much that it will please you."

She smiled patiently waiting for him to tell her what it was. "I have this very morning had a letter from town, my sister Caroline is going to rejoin me at Netherfield."

"That pleases me very much, I would like to see your sister again. We saw too little of her when we were in town." She said, she was genuinely happy to hear that Caroline would be in the area again, despite what Lizzy had said, she still enjoyed Caroline's company and thought it very sad that she had left the neighbourhood.

"Miss Darcy is to join us as well. I understand she is looking forward to going riding."

"It will be a pleasure to see Miss Darcy again." Mrs. Bennet said, "is Mr. Darcy to bring her?"

"No, ma'am. I believe he has business in town that requires his attention for sometime. I am not sure when we will see him again in Hertfordshire."

"That is such a pity." Mrs. Bennet said happily.

ooOoo

Georgiana had been awake very early that morning, she had not slept well. Her concern for her brother and her excitement at seeing Hertfordshire, a place she had heard so much about were to blame, although not equally.

Fitzwilliam did not appear for breakfast as was his habit. She had expected to see him before leaving to call on Miss Bingley, however, she heard from the housekeeper, Mrs. Williams, that he had not eaten and had left the house very early that morning. She did not know where her master had gone, Georgiana thanked her and ate her own breakfast, wondering about where her brother could have gone.

ooOoo

Elizabeth didn't leave her father's room until it was time to go to sleep, Jane joined her after Mr. Bingley had left but she could not convince Elizabeth to take a break. The next morning Jane went to her father's study after an early breakfast to attend to his letters as she had taken it on-pone herself to do, she saw the letter for Elizabeth lying next to the pile for her father. It was not in a handwriting that was familiar to her.

She once she had attending to her father's affairs she went in search for her sister, the letter in hand. She found her sitting in her room, by the window, a book resting on her lap quite forgotten, she was staring out of the window, deep in thought.

"Lizzy, can I come in?" She asked quietly.

Elizabeth looked up, surprised to see her. "Of course."

"How is Papa?"

"He is a little better, he is washing."

Jane sat down next to her sister, on the window seat. "A letter came for you." She handed it to her, "I didn't recognize the hand." Elizabeth pale face coloured and she opened the letter quickly, but then breathed a sigh of relief.

"It is from Miss Darcy, it did not look like her hand on the address. I thought for a moment that he had-" she did not finishing explaining. Jane was in not doubt who he was, but she decided not to push her sister further for the moment. "That is odd, it is dated quite some time again."

"She is coming to stay at Netherfield, Mr. Bingley told us yesterday." Jane said, "Caroline Bingley is coming back and she is joining her. It will be pleasant to have ladies in the house again. I fear Mr. Bingley has been rather lonely on his own."

Elizabeth murmured in agreement, but her attention was devoted to reading her letter, which was a long one. Jane left her to read it in peace.

_Author's notes – Thank you again to everyone who reviewed etc... Apple – if I told you that then there would be no point in reading :), all I will say is there will be a satisfactory ending and I am leaving it at that._


	22. My Good Friend, Doctor Russell

**Chapter XXII – My Good Friend, Doctor Russell**

"_I hold it true, whatever befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."_

_- Lord Alfred Tennyson_

Elizabeth's mind had been wandering again, her mind seemed to be wandering a lot recently. She tried to keep her thoughts to subjects of the moment, but she found herself again and again thinking of the one person who she had promised herself she would think of no more. She was occupied thus thinking of where he had gone and what he might be doing at that very moment when Jane appeared at the door.

"Lizzy, can I come in?" Jane asked quietly.

"Of course."

It was a relief to be distracted from her thoughts. Jane was smiling, for a moment it felt as if nothing were wrong, their father was not dying, nor was she engaged to Mr. Collins.

Jane stepped into the room and sat down next to her, a letter in her hand. "A letter came for you. I didn't recognize the hand." Jane said, handing it to her.

Elizabeth looked down at the address, expecting to see Charlotte or Miss Darcy's hand. But no, it looked like Mr. Darcy's. Her pulse quicken as she quickly turned the letter over to open it. What could he mean by writing to her, it was against every rule of propriety for a gentleman to write to a lady who was not his betrothed and who was not a relation. It had been dangerous enough from him to slip her that note in London, but this was something entirely different.

However she relaxed when she see the first page of the letter, it was Miss Darcy's handwriting, she recognised it from the letter which she had already received from her.

"It is from Miss Darcy, it did not look like her hand on the address. I thought for a moment that he had-" she did not explain. She did not want to admit to Jane just how silly she had been. Her mind was just playing tricks on her that was all. But then the date court her attention, it was dated from Pemberley before Mr. Darcy had last been in Hertfordshire. "That is odd, it is dated quite some time ago."

"She is coming to stay at Netherfield, Mr. Bingley told us yesterday." Jane said, "Caroline Bingley is coming back and she is joining her. It will be pleasant to have ladies in the house again. I fear Mr. Bingley has been rather lonely on his own."

Elizabeth hardly heard her sister, for she was too busy reading her letter, she glanced up a moment later to see that Jane had left the room. She turned her attention back to the letter.

She was confused, it was dated twelve days ago, while Miss Darcy was still at Pemberley with her brother. The letter was innocent enough, Miss Darcy's delight at being at Pemberley with her brother in the winter. How thick the snow had been this year, how she had slipped more than once on the ice. The letter ended as the last one had, that she hoped her brother would let her come to Hertfordshire soon.

Elizabeth turned the page expecting to see a post-script and was surprised to see another letter entirely, in the same hand as the address.

_Miss Elizabeth Bennet__._

_Be not alarmed, mad__am, on receiving this letter, that it contain any repetition of those inquires that were, last evening so __disgusting__ to you. But I must be allowed to speak to you, by what ever means are within my grasp and the effort which the formation and the perusal of this letter must occasion should have been spared, had not my character required it to be written and read. You must, therefore, pardon the freedom with which I demand your attention; your feelings, I know, will bestow it unwillingly, but I demand it of your justice._

_I apologise for the deception of concealing my letter within that of my sister's. Her letter has been in my possession since before I returned to Hertfordshire, I had intended to give it to you when I called at Longbourn with Mr. Bingley, and again during the dinner at Netherfield. However, circumstance and my own pride intervened, and I had quite forgotten the existence of the letter, until Georgiana mentioned it this evening._

_I am sure that you will have heard by now that my sister, Georgiana, will be joining Mr. Bingley at Netherfield Park, with his sister. I have done as you asked madam, and I have removed myself from the neighbourhood. They will be setting out for Hertfordshire in a few days and accompanying them will be my good friend, Doctor Russell. He will be remaining the neighbourhood for sometime. He is a good man, who I have the utmost faith in._

_Two offences, you laid to my charge, that I should have acted sooner, to which I can only say that you are quite correct. I should have acted sooner. In my defence, I had seen Mr. Collins's preference for you, but I did not believe that there was any cause for concern on that count. I knew enough of your character to believe that you would not commit yourself to someone who you did not consider your equal. I was ignorant of the circumstances. I will not cause you more pain by relating again the reasons why I did not act sooner._

_The second charge was that my behaviour towards you, since learning of your engagement, is not that of a gentleman's.__ Again here I am forced to agree with you, my behaviour has not been as I would wish it. I will endeavour to conduct myself in a manner more befitting__ a gentleman in the future. I sincerely hope that you find the happiness that you seek for. I will only add, God bless you._

_Fitzwilliam Darcy_

Elizabeth was not sure what she had thought would be in the letter, but she had not been expecting this. Her first feelings on reading it were of anger, how dare he write to her? Had he not caused her enough grief? She read it again. She was struck by his sending his sister. He had given no reason for it, but that she could guess readily enough. She was prevented from reading it again by Kitty and Lydia, who bounced into her room. She quickly slid Mr. Darcy's letter out of sight.

"Lizzy, Sir William is hosting another party." Kitty said happily.

"Carter, Wickham, Denny and well all of the officers are all to be there," Lydia interrupted, "and Charlotte is to come back."

"That is good news indeed. It has been too long since I saw Charlotte." Elizabeth said, "When is this party?"

"On Wednesday. Lady Lucas was just here." Kitty said sitting down next to her sister.

"La, you have not even told her the best bit yet." Lydia said sitting down on the bed. "Charlotte is being courted by a sailor. Can you imagine, Charlotte, a navy captain's wife?"

Lizzy smiled despite herself. "And does this dashing sailor have a name?"

"Captain Northam." Kitty supplied, "And I think it is romantic."

"I would rather have an officer in the army than a sea captain in the navy courting me. Mama says that sailors are never handsome, something about the salt in the water." Lydia giggled.

"Well then, it is a good job that Captain Northam is courting Charlotte and not you then." Elizabeth said, causing both of her sisters to laugh.

ooOoo

Caroline Bingley knew something was going on, why else would Mr. Darcy ask her if she would like to join his sister on a trip to Hertfordshire to visit Charles? She had agreed, of course, she would never give up a chance to spend more time with dear Georgiana. His carriage had gone to collect her and her belongs from the Hurst's house early that morning as promised. She had been surprised not to find Mr. Darcy in it, but rather his sister, her companion Mrs. Annesley and a gentleman she had never met before, a Doctor Russell. He was about thirty, not as handsome as Mr. Darcy, but not at all repulsive in appearance, a little shorter than average, but he carried himself in a very dignified manner that more than made up for it. He was not a man of great fashion, but quite the gentleman.

She could not work out why he was there. Georgiana said hardly a word, which was not unusual, but something still struck her as strange about the situation. She learnt from a brief conversation with Doctor Russell, that he had been a friend of Mr. Darcy's for many years. She could not gather any more particular details from him, for he turned the conversation towards Hertfordshire. Miss Bingley found that she was obliged to give an account of the county, a task she acquitted herself of with speed and as much spirit as she could muster considering her diastase for the county she was speaking of, and the whole party spent the rest of the trip in silence.

ooOoo

Elizabeth was very pleased to see Charlotte again, which made Jane happy to see. Her sister had been too quiet, too with drawn since their father's illness had started so many months ago now, and she needed to be happy. Of course one evening's happiness was not enough, but it was a start.

They had left Mr. Bennet sleeping that evening, having complained about pain for most of the day, Mr. Jones had given him something to make him sleep and for the pain. Mrs. Bennet had taken some convincing, but in the end she had given into the wishes of her daughters, and since entering Lucas Lodge, she was in high spirits.

Jane had been a little disappointed to hear that Mr. Bingley would not be joining the party that evening, as his sister and Miss Darcy would be arriving and he did not want to leave them so soon on their arrival, he was quite convinced that they would been too tired from their journey to join in the evenings entertainment. She was standing with her sister and Charlotte, who her sister was teasing.

"So Charlotte I hear you found the society at your uncle's much to your liking?" Elizabeth said smiling at her friend.

"It was very pleasant indeed," Charlotte replied, "but then I have seen so little of the world that every fresh place is of interest to me."

"I understand that you found the officers of the navy much more agreeable than you had expected?"

Charlotte laughed, "Oh Lizzy."

"It is good to have you back in Hertfordshire. We have missed your company." Lizzy said more seriously this time.

Their attention was court by some late arrivals, Jane was very surprised to see Mr. Bingley, his sister, Miss Darcy, Mrs. Annesley and another gentleman that she did not know.

"I thought Mr. Bingley and his sister were not joining us this evening?" Charlotte said, with a slightly confused glance at Jane.

"They must have changed their plans." Jane said quietly, she was pleased to see that Mr. Bingley was looking around the room, in search of someone and that when he caught her eye, he smiled broadly, before turning his attention back to Sir William Lucas.

"That is Miss Darcy?" Charlotte enquired.

"Yes, but I do not know who the gentleman is." Jane said.

"Well they are coming over, so we should find out in a moment." Charlotte said, as her father headed towards them with Mr. Bingley and his friends. The introductions were made, Doctor Russell was very pleased to meet them all. Mr. Bingley mentioned to her later on, that it was on his insistence that they joined the party this evening.

"I have heard much of you, Miss Bennet." Doctor Russell said smiling at her, and then at Elizabeth, "And of course of you Miss Elizabeth, from Miss Darcy as well as her brother."

Elizabeth's colour changed slightly, but she did not speak. Jane assumed it was the reference to Mr. Darcy that had affected her. She entered into conversation with Mr. Bingley and Miss Darcy, while Doctor Russell turned his attentions to Jane.

"I fear that you have the advantage then sir," Jane said blushing slightly, "are you planning on staying long?"

"My plans are not yet settled, Darcy asked me to accompany his sister, as she is not used to being out in society. Just to make sure that she is not overwhelmed by it all."

"But she has a companion, Mrs. Annesley, does she?"

"Indeed, she does. But Darcy is a most attentive and affectionate brother."

"He is indeed."

ooOoo

"I thought Mr. Bingley and his sister were not joining us this evening?" Charlotte said, with a slightly confused glance at Jane.

Elizabeth hardly knew which way to look, when she saw Miss Darcy arrive with who she could only assume was Doctor Russell. She had already noted that Mr. Wickham was present, she had seen him talking to her youngest sister. She knew that this would be the first time that her new young friend would have seen him since Ramsgate. She was glad at least that neither Jane nor Charlotte had glanced in her direction.

She only had a few moments to decided what was best to be done, she thought it best to try and warn Miss Darcy of his presence and then try and keep her as far away from him as possible. But she would have to speak to Miss Darcy on her own, it would not do to have the others realise anything was amiss.

Elizabeth was momentarily distracted by Doctor Russell, there was something in his manner of speaking, although he had said very little of consequence, that made her uneasy.

"I have heard much of you, Miss Bennet. And of course of you Miss Elizabeth, from Miss Darcy as well as her brother." Doctor Russell said smiling first at Jane, and then at Elizabeth, there was something there. Mr. Darcy had not said in his letter why he had asked his friend to join his sister. She had thought that it might be because of her father. But now she was not sure, and the thought made her blush unwillingly.

Elizabeth was relived when Jane continued the conversation with him, which left her free to draw Miss Darcy into conversation and hopefully away from the others, before she happened to see Mr. Wickham, or before he happened to see her.

"Did you have a pleasant journey from London?" Elizabeth asked Miss Darcy.

"It was pleasant enough." Miss Darcy said quietly, she was not at all comfortable in a room with so many people she did not know.

"I should have insisted that we remain at Netherfield this evening." Mr. Bingley said, but Elizbeth's attention was court by something Doctor Russell had said, "Darcy asked me to accompany his sister, as she is not used to being out in society. Just to make sure that she is not overwhelmed by it will."

"But she has a companion, Mrs. Annesley, does she?" Jane asked

"Indeed, she does. But Darcy is a most attentive and affectionate brother." Doctor Russell replied

"He is indeed." Jane agreed.

There was very little in the answer, but there was something in the manner in which it was said, that lead Elizabeth to believe that he was not merely there to keep an eye on Miss Darcy. He was there as Mr. Darcy's eyes and ears, he had done what she had asked. He had removed himself from the situation, but he had not removed his influence. She was not permitted any more time to think on the manner, for at that moment, Mr. Bingley excused himself and she was left standing with Miss Darcy.

"Miss Darcy, perhaps we should take a seat so we can speak more quietly." She said, pointing to a chaise in the corner.

Miss Darcy looked relived, and readily followed her friend. Once they were settled, Elizabeth realised that there was no easy way to do this. She could not believe that Mr. Darcy would have sent his sister into the neighbourhood, for what ever reason, without first telling her that Mr. Wickham was likewise here. And this meeting would have been earlier than anyone would have thought, there was nothing to be done about it now. She owned it to her friend, to warn her about his presence and do what ever she could to help her.

"You must forgive me Miss Darcy, for I will be causing you pain." She began, and Miss Darcy looked at her with surprise.

"Miss Bennet, what ever is the matter?"

"I believe, you know, your brother must have informed you that a certain gentleman is residing in the neighbourhood?"

Miss Darcy went quite still for a moment, her face pale before she replied. "Yes, he did. I did not realise that you knew?"

"I would not have mentioned the subject at all, if he were not here this evening."

Miss Darcy glanced around the room quickly, she looked down at her hands after she had spotted him, she studied them for a minute or two, before sighing.

"Thank you for warning me Miss Bennet. You are truly a good friend. I hope you do not think any less of me for being so carried away by my feelings?"

"Not at all, sometimes our feelings course us to act in ways that we would rather not." She said as she glanced down at the engagement ring on her left hand, she hardly ever looked at it, as if denying its existence would help. "Please do not blame your brother for telling me. I believe he thought it was for the best."

"Blame him, no, of course not. I was merely surprised. My brother is really the best brother I could have." She smiled then and Elizabeth found that she was not able to keep from smiling as well.

"I believe he is really the best of men."

_Author's notes – Gosh, what long reviews. Thank you everyone for giving me your thoughts and opinions, it is always good to see through someone else's eyes, sometimes it is __too hard to break free from the way in which you yourself see the world to actually see how others see it. For instance, a number of people have suggested that I might want to reconsider my classification and make it angst. Which strange as it may sound is not something I had actually thought of. I think my LARP writing might have changed the way in which I saw it as there needs to be a lot more going on in a LARP than in a normal story to make sure that all of the players have enough to do. So to me angst would be more complaining about the situation than there currently is. Jane, Elizabeth, Mr. Bennet, Darcy etc are n__ot by any means happy with the situation as it stands, but they are not complaining about it. Or maybe I just have__ too many Emo and Goth friends._

_Anyway, thank__ you for your reviews, I really do enjoy reading your thoughts, my husband just laughs at me._

_One last thing, Elizabeth's age, Jane Austen does not say how old she is for sure, and I am not sure any more what I think, I have two theories, but never having had children of my own I actually just don't know. All we know is that 1. Elizabeth is the second eldest sister, 2. Jane Bennet is almost 23 __when Elizabeth gets back from Kent, 3. that Elizabeth is not 21 when in Kent, 4. that Lydia turned 16 in June, 5. that Kitty is 2 years older, so 18, which brings me to my point, either Mary is 19 and Elizabeth is 20, which means Mrs. Bennet had three pregnancies very close together, or Elizabeth and Jane are closer in age than most people think, as in less than a year apart, which would mean, Jane, 22 (like a month away from 23), Elizabeth 22 (just turned 22), Mary 20, Kitty 18 and Lydia 16. It would also explain why Jane and Elizabeth are so close and Lydia and Kitty, while Mary is on her own. They both have points in their favour and against them. Anyone have any thoughts on this?_


	23. The Stage of Hertfordshire

**Chapter XXIII – The Stage of Hertfordshire**

_All the world's a stage,_ _And all the men and women merely players_ _- William Shakespeare_

Lydia cast a bored glance about the main drawing room at Lucas Lodge. Although she was still fairly new to this kind of party, they already seemed unfathomably dull. There was something very dull about a group of people standing around someone's drawing room, drinking wine and talking. Conversation bored her most of the time. Of course it was much better than having to sit still and listen to Mary play. Now that was pure torment.

Still, she felt out of place in conversations. Her oldest sisters were always talking about such serious things, the war with France, the ill health of the King, the polices and politics of the Prince Regent, among other things. At least she knew what they were saying when they discussed such topics, it was when Mary spoke about music or religion that her mind would wander. Lizzy was the worst, she would speak of poetry or philosophy and then everyone would laugh at a joke that she had told. Lydia would be standing in a circle of people laughing at her sister's sense of humour, while she was hardly aware that a joke had been told or why it was funny.

She had tried for years to behave as Lizzy did, but whenever she told a joke everyone around her would smile sympathetically at her, and then change the subject. Kitty would laugh at it. Mary would pull a face and start telling her something long and boring. Jane would take pity on her and suggest that she maybe tell the children. Lizzy would say something really humourous and everyone would really start laughing. Their father had exclaimed a few times at Lydia's wit and how wonderful a gift it was, she had thought he was proud of her until about a year ago when she had realised that he was making fun of her.

No, humour was Elizabeth's talent, not Lydia's. When she came out a few months ago she had been over the moon, finally she could join in the dances like her sisters, dancing was something she could do well. Well, as well as Elizabeth, and Lydia was very pleased to see within the first few dances she went to she was just as popular as Elizabeth and Jane were, and for the last few dances perhaps even more so.

She had listened for years as Elizabeth and Jane would talk about the balls and dances they had been to, determined to learn as much as she could. Elizabeth had once lost her lace and Jane had afterwards commented how popular a partner she had been that evening. Lydia took care therefore to often misplace hers.

Tonight, however, was not a ball. No, it was an evening party at the Lucas', which meant lots of standing around and listening to polite conversation, and listening to Mary play in the other room. She was standing off to the side, Wickham was telling a very lively story of something that had happened to a friend of his in London, the punch line of which seemed to be that drinking too much wine while playing cards was not a great idea.

She was bored, not even sixteen, and she was bored. Denny was smiling at her, he seemed to be having similar thoughts. Kitty was listening with bated breath for Wickham to conclude his tale.

"He put the ace on the table, kept waving his cards around so it was as plain as day what his hand was. Cost him £50. £50, all because he couldn't hold his liquor and he dropped the ace on the floor."

Kitty giggled. Mary played on, "Mosert" or some such thing.

Lydia could bare it no more, she stalked off to find Mary and convince her that she wanted to play something that Lydia could dance to. "Lord, why must Mary play such dull songs?"

ooOoo

"Miss Bennet you said you had lately been in London?" Doctor Russell enquired of Jane.

"Yes, my sister Elizabeth and I were staying with our aunt and uncle for a few weeks."

"With the Gardeners, if I remember the name Darcy mentioned?"

"Yes, Mr and Mrs Gardener, in Gracechurch Street. My uncle and aunt."

"I think I know the very street, I had a friend who had lodgings there a year or two ago. I remember it being a very pleasant street, not fashionable perhaps but something pleasing and comfortable it."

Jane smiled, she was enjoying her conversation with Doctor Russell. He was a very charming gentleman, who had seen much of the world, both the wealthy and the poor and he spoke very knowledgeably. Charlotte also seemed to be enjoying his company, although Jane noticed he was being particularly attentive to her.

Mr. Bingley good humouredly chimed in in every now and then, but the chief of the conversation was carried on between Jane and Doctor Russell.

ooOoo

He was having a pleasant evening, even if it was for the most part being spent in the company of the youngest Miss Bennet. He would much rather he were in the company of her elder sister, Elizabeth, but she was not as available as he would have liked. It was not just her engagement to Mr. Collins, there were ways around things like that. He had often found that a pretty girl who is engaged to be married to a fool is great fun.

The closer such women get to the wedding the more they do not want to spend their entire lives knowing only the touch of a man such as Mr. Collins. He had seduced a few girls like that.

But Elizabeth did not seem to be thinking along those lines just yet, he had hinted more than once and she had not even blushed. He was more than a little surprised by this reaction, it was not one he had encountered before.

Still, in Elizabeth's absence, her youngest sister was a tolerable substitute. Lydia was the most like her in appearance, with their similar dark hair, slightly green eyes, and their lively spirits. The comparison stopped there, Elizabeth's eyes changed shades with her mood, and had an intelligent expression, reviling a mind that was sharp witted and extremely engaging. Her younger sister thought and spoke of very little of any interest. He was halfway through telling a story when he noticed something, a laugh. He could not place it, but there was something familiar about it. Something that did not belong in Hertfordshire. He looked around, but could see no one out of the ordinary.

Lydia was at that moment triumphed in her quest for a dance, Denny and Wickham were only too pleased to agree. As they moved to their places, Wickham heard the laugh again. But this time he thought he could tell which side of the room it came from. There was another laugh as well, and now that one he knew. Elizabeth Bennet's laugh he could always identify.

ooOoo

"I believe he is really the best of men." Elizabeth said softly. They sat in silence for a moment or two, in which Elizabeth tried not to think of Mr. Darcy.

Miss Darcy took pity on her friend and changed the subject. "You have two other sisters I have yet to meet?"

Elizabeth laughed, "Three. You can hear Mary is playing, and Catherine, who we call Kitty, and Lydia are over there." She indicated her youngest sisters, who were standing near Mr. Wickham.

Miss Darcy glanced at Kitty and Lydia. "They seem very comfortable talking in front of so many people. I wish I could do it as well."

"They have each other, and three older sisters. I am sure you will gain confidence with time."

Elizabeth was enjoying the evening more than she thought she would have. Miss Darcy was a sweet girl, much more even tempered than her own younger sisters. Elizabeth delighted in coaxing her out of her shell a little, even if it was only with her and not before the rest of the company.

"How long do you think you will be in the neighbourhood?" Elizabeth asked.

"I am not at all sure. My brother changed plans rather suddenly as I think you are aware."

"Well I hope you will stay a while at least. There are a great many things in Hertfordshire I would like to show you." Elizabeth said trying to move their conversation forward and away from Mr. Darcy.

"Fitzwilliam mentioned that you enjoying walking a great deal."

Elizabeth blushed slightly at the attention from that gentleman. "I do indeed."

ooOoo

He was struggling to focus on the dance and the girl he was dancing with. Something was telling him that he needed to find out whose laugh that was. His eyes swept the room as he went around the circle, before he needed to return his attention to his partner.

ooOoo

"And you sister's wedding is soon?" Doctor Russell asked Miss Bennet as he led her away from the others.

"Yes, in three weeks." Miss Bennet said quietly.

Bingley was very confused, why would Doctor Russell lead Miss Bennet away from the rest of their group? As far as he could gather from Darcy's very short letter, rather strange for his friend, the doctor was there to keep an eye on his young sister while he was not there, since she had begged to see the neighbourhood. He did not say why he had left the neighbourhood so suddenly. Bingley had thought that he would see out the affair with Miss Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Collins. Something had happened between them, he was sure of it. What it was he had no idea.

He spoke briefly to Miss Lucas and Caroline, realised that he was not in the mood for polite conversation, and decided to get a glass of wine. Caroline attached herself to his arm and proceeded to complain bitterly about the sort of people who were assembled at the party. Bingley hardly listened. He was too busy watching Doctor Russell and the eldest Miss Bennet, who were deeply engaged in conversation. They were speaking only to each other, and seemed not to be aware of any others around them. To distinguish Miss Bennet in such away, Bingley could not help but feel angry, it was not right, to place a young woman who was as good as Miss Bennet was in the way of scandal and gossip, he

(?)

he seemed to hold so little interest for anyone else there that night, his attention was completely focused on Miss Bennet. Perhaps he had misunderstood which sister was engaged to Mr. Collins.

ooOoo

His eyes fell on Miss Elizabeth Bennet, who was sitting a little out of the way, it seemed by herself. That was strange for her, to be so tucked away from everything and everyone. He remembered how he had caught her eye earlier and how quickly she had blushed and looked away. Could she be removing herself from the centre of things on purpose? He had been dropping hints that were getting progressively less subtle. Ever since he had followed her through the woods outside Longbourn he had been unable to get her off his mind, there was something about her eyes and the way she looked at him that drove him mad. Like she was daring him to do it.

There! She caught his eye again and glanced away quickly just as quickly. She was blushing again. A lovely shade of red, as befit her. Innocent and spirited, an unusual combination. There was no mistaking that look. He resolved to disengage himself from her younger sisters and join her, for a few private moments. He could not hope to engage her attentions here, however, he could lay the ground work.

ooOoo

Elizabeth glanced over at Jane, who seemed to be happily conversing with Doctor Russell, Mr. Bingley standing close by. _That_ gentleman's usually cheerful expression was missing from his face and had been replaced by a slightly concerned one. Elizabeth could not think what had him so concerned, in her experience of him he was generally carefree and very rarely sombre.

She heard the last notes of the music finish and joined in the polite clapping for Mary, who had been playing. The dancers seemed to have grown bored of their activity and were moving over to the refreshments. Mr. Wickham was leading Lydia quite firmly towards the drinks table, despite her protests that she would much rather carry on dancing. Elizabeth turned her attention back to her companion.

_Author's notes – And I'm back, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and have forgiven me my long silence. The world has been rather demanding of late, and I have not really been in a writing mood. I think the last minute cram for the LARPs depleted my creative juices for a while. But they both went off very well. And I will never be writing two again in one year while studying. It's just not a good plan. I have also realised I have not mentioned the biggest two reasons I have not had as much time to write as I did before. I have two puppies. They do make writing or doing anything but playing with them very hard._

_Anyway back to the story, as I mentioned, now many months ago, I think this will be wrapping up __fairly soon, there are two chapters already written which will make up two of the last four or five. And I am not far off getting to them, but then there may be an unexpected change._


	24. Georgiana's Heart

**Chapter XXIV – Georgiana's Heart**

_You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness._  
_― Jonathan Safran Foer_

Wickham lead Lydia firmly, and perhaps a little roughly, towards the drinks table.

"But Mary can play again, a jig. Wouldn't you love to dance a jig?" Lydia insisted.

"Sir William has some of the best wine in the county, I think a glass would be much more refreshing." Wickham said, handing her a glass. She beamed at him, before taking a large swallow. His attention had moved away from Lydia. He picked up two more glasses of wine and moved away from Lydia and towards Elizabeth.

ooOoo

"Do you ride Miss Bennet? I cannot recall?" Miss Darcy asked Elizabeth.

"I did as a child." Elizabeth explained with a smile, "However, I prefer not to. Jane rides very well and loves it."

"Oh, I would have loved to ride around the country. I do love riding." Miss Darcy said, than then more shyly. "I don't like to ride alone, I am always afraid that I will lose control of my horse and be thrown from the saddle."

Elizabeth laughed. "It appears then that we have a common fear."

Miss Darcy smiled, "Perhaps we could overcome it between the two of us?"

"I would not want to give you false hope."

ooOoo

Darcy was tired, very tired. It had been a very long day, and he had virtually nothing to show for it. He had made enquires for three days now and he was no further forward. No closer to his goal. He had eaten alone and quickly that evening, then returned to his study. Trying, but without any success, not to think what where Georgiana might be at very moment and who she might be with.

At the realisation of his failure to control his thoughts, he allowed his mind to wander freely for a few minutes, while he drunk a tumbler of port. At last he drained the glass, sighed and returned to the pile of letters on his desk.

ooOoo

"Please tell me you did not go through with it, sir?" Jane laughed happily, for the first time in several weeks she was truly enjoying herself. Elizabeth seemed more herself this evening that she had since their father's illness. Doctor Russell had kept her very well entertained with stories about patients he or friends had had, she felt slightly light-headed – she had laughed so much.

"Sadly, he did not return, that night." Doctor Russell said with a tickle in his eye. "But there is always the chance that Mr Smith will drink too much French wine, as though it were small beer and again be in need of my services. In fact I depend on it."

ooOoo

"I can get Mary to play that jig you enjoyed so much?" Lydia pleaded, following after Mr Wickham. "Oh, what was that song called again?"

He paid her no heed.

"You remember, the one you really enjoyed?" Lydia determinedly continued to address him. He, however, paid her not heed and continued toward her elder sister.

"Kitty, what was it called? The one we danced at Mrs Long's?"

Wickham saw that Elizabeth was not alone, there was another young lady sitting with her, although slightly removed from view. Yet there was something familiar about her. No, it was not possible. He could hardly believe it, he had to know for sure.

That her brother had permitted her to enter the county where he knew that Wickham was resisting was beyond belief. That he would even think about letting her enter the same social circle was laughable. And yet there she was, sitting with Miss Elizabeth Bennet, as if nothing had ever transpired between them. It was almost too good to be true. With a broad smile across his face, he advanced. Then a thought occurred. Georgiana would not be foolish enough to confide what had taken place at Ramsgate, however, he would have to proceed more carefully now.

"Miss Bennet, what a charming evening this is, and ever the more so for seeing you here tonight." He said as both ladies looked up at him, and schooling his expression into a look of great surprise. "Miss Darcy, what a pleasant surprise it is to see you here. I thought your brother kept you locked up in a tower in London?"

He was pleased to see that Georgiana was very white and would not look him in the eye. Elizabeth replied, "Good evening Mr Wickham. I believe my sister, Lydia, is looking for you."

"Indeed." He half turned to look in the direction she had indicated, and saw that Lydia had in fact followed him across the room, it seemed that there was no stopping her.

"I thought you might like a glass of wine." He said turning back to Elizabeth and offering her the glass.

"You have missed some wonderful dancing Lizzy," Lydia said, and then to Wickham with a very self-satisfied smile, "Kitty remembered what it was called, and Mary is to play it."

"Well I am very pleased you have been enjoying yourselves, and I believe Mary is about to start." said Elizabeth with a smile, she had risen from her seat and taken a step towards him, she took the wine from him.

Wickham began to say something when Elizabeth cut him off, "Come now Mr Wickham, you would not want to disappoint Lydia by not dancing with her again, would you?"

Seeing no way out of it, he agreed, only adding with a bright smile. "If you are not otherwise engaged would you dance the next one after that with me Miss Bennet?"

"Thank you, but I am not inclined to dance this evening." She smiled sweetly at him. Lydia had taken hold of his arm and pulled him away towards the other dancers. He glanced back to see Elizabeth had taken her seat again and was drinking deeply from the glass of wine he had hand her. Georgiana was still as white as a sheet.

ooOoo

Doctor Russell was quite determined it seemed to keep Jane entertained all evening. Though she was enjoying herself, she was slowly becoming aware that Mr Bingley looked less than charmed. In fact he was positively glaring at Doctor Russell as her led her to join in the dance.

Jane felt sorry to be making him feel uncomfortable by the situation, but could see no way of resolving it without being rude to Doctor Russell, which she could not bring herself to do.

ooOoo

Bingley had not had a good evening, he had spent most of it watching this friend of Darcy's, who was meant to be looking out for his sister, flirting with Jane Bennet. There was no other word for it. He had been flirting with her. She, he was pleased to note, had not flirted back. But he was determined not to spend another evening like that. No, his mind was made up. Tomorrow he would ride over to Longbourn, as early as it was proper to do so and settle things.

That was the best thing to do. He would wear his blue coat- Jane had once commented that she liked that particular one. Yes, that is what he would do. He would wear his blue coat and ride over to Longbourn and ask Jane Bennet to be his wife. He would never have to spend another evening watching another man flirt with her without being able to call him out. Even if he was a friend of Darcy's.

ooOoo

Much later that evening as Georgiana was getting ready for bed. Her maid was brushing her blond hair, and Georgiana's eyes were fixed on her reflection in the mirror. She had been unable to prevent herself from playing the evening over and over again in her mind.

She turned her head to the side and touched one hand to her check, unable to decide if she looked older or much as she had the last time she had seen him. It was strange, she reflected, that in all the uncertainty of the last few months it should affect her so much to see him again. She had thought that those feelings had died with the belief that he returned her regard, but as all young girls learn sooner or later, it is not always the case.

It reminded her of the game she had played when she was a child, that she had tried to give up, but time and time again she had returned to it. It was simple enough, she was not allowed to hope too much for anything, to plan any event, or it would not happen. If she allowed her imagination to get carried away then the event would not take place. She must have started playing this game when she was very young, a Christmas when Fitzwilliam was to come home from Cambridge. She could not have been more eights years old, she had carefully planned every moment. She had prepared a song that she would play for him, made sure that there would be ginger biscuits for them to eat with their tea, she had picked out the book she had wanted him to read to her and many other delightful things, when the news came that he had been invited to a friend's estate. She had cried for two days.

She had clung to the game more than ever when her father had died. Never allowing herself to hope for a brighter life. Her brother, as much as she adored and looked up to him, could never replace her dear father. He had done his best to be her mother, father and older brother, but their home became a very serious, quiet one. Fitzwilliam was a reserved person by nature, Georgiana had been too scared to make a noise and the servants had tiptoed around the house as if they were walking on eggshells.

She had cried once in front of her brother, when she was much younger. He had tried to comfort her as best he knew how, it was the only time she had ever seen him loose his temper and punch a wall. He cut his hand in the progress. She had never forgotten the sight of the blood tricking down onto the plush blue carpet and forming a large brown stain. And if she looked carefully at his right hand, even to this day, she could make out the scar. She had been so scared that he would hurt himself once more again, that she had never cried in front of him again.

Georgiana had only felt truly alive when she played, music was the only sound, above a whisper, that her home had ever known since her father's death. The music could be cheerful even when she did not feel cheerful. It let her escape her own life and enter a brighter world, where her brother was not as serious and her father and mother were still alive and could embrace her. She could be whoever she wanted. She could dance when she was alone, she could hear the sounds of a thousands of people living their lives. Music had come into her world, or at least it had permitted her to escape from hers.

Fitzwilliam actually smiled at her from time to time when she played for him, and told her how proud he was of her. Seeing her brother happy was the most important thing she could ever hope for. If she was not able to be happy, then she would do everything in her power to insure that he was.

But George had changed everything. He had looked at her and talked to her like an equal. Not as some poor young rich girl, whose parents had died and left her in the care of her brother. She felt like a woman and like the young girl she had never had the chance to be. He made her smile and laugh, he showed her a life she had never thought possible, Pemberley had not seemed so chilling beautiful and silent. Was it any surprise she had fallen in love with him?

And even now, when she knew that he did not love her. That he would never love her. That all he had wanted was her dowry and to hurt her brother, she could not help herself. She knew some part of her would never be able to let go completely, he would always hold at least a piece of her heart. She had seen the way he looked at Elizabeth Bennet. She had been jealous, she wished that she could have been the one he looked at like that, or the one dancing with him instead of Elizabeth's youngest sister, Lydia.

But she knew he did not love her. For months she had hoped that he would appear and beg her brother to allow them to get married. A long engagement would prove their regard to Fitzwilliam, if they waited until she was nineteen or even twenty, he would be convinced. But George never came. And she had thrown herself even more into her music than she had been before. She had a piece of a note he had written to her, hidden among her jewellery box, next to a necklace that had belonged to her mother. It simply said, _"My dearest Georgiana"_, it was not enough for anyone to realise who had written it. But it was enough for her. Even though the sentiments it depicted were false, even though she knew that she would never be the object of his affections. For the moment, it was enough, or at least that was what she told herself.

Lucy, her maid, had finished plaiting her hair and wishing her a good night as she left the room. Georgiana, climbed reluctantly into bed, blew out the candle, and cried herself to sleep.

_Author's notes – Yes, yes I know, it's been forever. I have nothing to blame other than apathy. The key to getting it done was Georgiana, I had not realised until near the end that this chapter was all about her. Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I spent ages on the first part and then wrote the second two thirds in the course of one evening._

_Thank you for everyone who stuck with me and waited for this chapter, not to mention those reviewing, adding to favourites etc. Reviews are always much appreciated._


	25. Mr Bingley Speaks

**Chapter XXV – Mr Bingley Speaks**

"_There could have been no two hearts so open, no tastes so similar, no feelings so in unison"  
― Jane Austen, __Persuasion_

The mornings seemed to Jane to be the only time that Longbourn was quiet. It had been that way for as long as she could remember. Elizabeth would, more often than not, get up earlier than the rest of the family and go for a short walk, or sit downstairs and read before the others were awake. And more recently, she had gone to check on their father. She never meant to wake Jane, but she always did. Jane would then doze for a few more minutes, enjoying that delightful phase of dreaming when one is half awake and half asleep, and then she would slowly get up and get ready for the day. Taking her time to decide on her hair and gown, simply enjoying the quiet. It was her favourite time, when the day was new and anything was possible.

She enjoyed the peace. In such a large family peace did not come often, and particularly in a family with five daughters so close together in age. Lydia and Kitty had spent most of the mornings as soon as they could walk in her company. Lizzy had never had the patience to deal with Lydia, especial when she was at the hair pulling age, although she had dealt very well with Kitty.

Jane stretched and saw that Lizzy had already gone downstairs, although it did not look like she had walked out this morning. She drew back the curtain and saw by the weak rays of March sunlight, that a grey mist still hung in the cold morning air, as if the winter were unwilling to make way for spring. It would be getting warmer soon, and then Lizzy would be married. But there was still time; she need not give up hope quite yet. Jane prayed every day and she had faith that a solution would appear. She was already being denied having the pleasure of her father giving her away on her own wedding day, whenever that day was, she would _not_ live with the pain of seeing her beloved sister married to a man she could never love or respect.

It was selfish of her she knew, but she had silently rejoiced that she had never been in Lizzy's place; she could not imagine being forced to decide between doing her duty to her family by marrying Mr Collins, or answering the demands of her own heart. Lizzy had always been much stronger than her, it was Lizzy who was the brave one. Jane knew she was a coward. But it did no good to dwell on such thoughts; with the wedding so close there were a million little things that needed doing, her mother needed her help.

She was just leaving her room when she heard giggling and the low murmuring of voices coming from Kitty and Lydia's room. Clearly they were awake.

ooOoo

Elizabeth's plan was to spend most of the day sorting through her things, deciding what she would be taking with her to Kent and her new life as Mrs Collins, and what she would be leaving behind at Longbourn. She smiled fondly at the odds and ends she had collected over the years of her life. The dairy she had kept for a week and a half- that made her smile. She stopped for a minute to read through some of the things that she had written at the tender age of sixteen. However, that caused her to start laughing which called Jane's attention to the fact that she had become distracted.

Elizabeth added the dairy to the pile that would remain at Longbourn. Several novels and books of poetry were added to the pile that would be going with her, as she could not help but smile at thought of Mr Collins' expression when he discovered that his new bride read and enjoyed such things. She was not going to change herself for him; he would have to learn to deal with who she was.

She was resolved on being happy. That was the least she could do- to make the most of the situation, instead of dwelling on the negative aspects of the match, she was determined to look at the positive. A tearful, reluctant bride would help no one, least of all herself. She would still rather not marry him, she would rather marry any other man in the world, but he was a respectable young man, he was not cruel. No, his defect, like many of his sycophantic ilk, was his puffed up humility; a pompous belief of his own importance in due to his superior situation in life and connection with the great Lady Catherine de Bourgh and Rosings Park, crossed with his flagrant toad-eating of the same.

There were indeed many destructive characteristics that Mr Collins did not possess, which was a point in his favour, of course there were likely many advantageous qualities that he did not have either, but Elizabeth thought it wisest not the spend too much time listing those. She would be able to lead him, and hopefully with time he would annoy her less.

She moved on to her gowns, removing several that had faded and were better left behind. One she had only worn once or twice as she did not like it very much, but as it was a morning gown in very good condition she could not in good conscience leave it behind. Mrs Bennet had liked it and said that it suited her very well. Looking at the grown now she could not help but feel that it, like the current situation in which she found herself, might be made more tolerable by focusing on the positive aspects, ignoring the bad and changing the one or two little things there were in her power. She twisted the dress to and fro, trying to look at it again without prejudice, and decided that if she redid some of the trimmings it might be at least a little improved. Perhaps some new lace or fresh ribbon would liven it up a little. And maybe if she encouraged Mr Collins to widen his reading selection. Perhaps with some history? She might just be able to curtail his conversation and by adding a little more knowledge and subject to it. Setting the gown aside, she resolved to do what she could with it later that afternoon.

ooOoo

Bingley had been up that morning as soon as it was light, surprising not only his valet but several startled maids including one who was still engaged in lighting the fires in the downstairs rooms. She hastily finished her work and fled from the room with breathless apology for inconveniencing him. Not that it bothered him at all. How were the servants to know that he would be up so much earlier then was his habit. He did not for a moment suppose that he would be awake early enough to catch them laying the fires again.

Today was the day that would change the rest of his life. At least he hoped it was. His mind was made up, although he wished that Darcy were there. He could have done with some of his advice on the matter. Darcy would have known the right thing to say. However, Darcy was still in London and not expected to return any-time soon. His sisters would not have been able to offer anything he would call advice. His brother, Mr Hurst was an option, but on reflection he decided against the idea. Miss Darcy was too young to offer any insight, she was not her brother after-all. he only other person in the house was Doctor Russell. No, he would have to manage on his own, and hope for the best.

Breakfast was far from ready, as he normally eat much later, he settled for some tea, bread and jam before going for a walk in the fresh air. It was not as cold that morning as it had been earlier in the week. After a few minutes of walking he realised that he was walking towards Longbourn and that it would be better to arrive on a horse rather than on foot. Not to mention faster.

ooOoo

Georgiana knew her harp would be arriving very soon, but she could not wait. She had hardly even had to hint that she would like it, and Fitzwilliam had arranged for it to be sent to her from London. He really was such a good brother. She honestly did not know what she would do without him, although she knew he spoilt her. A letter had arrived that morning from him informing her that the harp would be arriving later that afternoon. Before she had been feeling rather sorry for herself, but this news had improved her humour. She loved playing on the pianoforte, but there was something so much more elegant about the harp.

The breakfast room was unusually quiet this morning. Miss Bingley rarely came down until breakfast was about to be cleared away, so her absence was no surprise. The absence of Mr Bingley, on the other hand, was most unusual. On inquiry, one of the footmen disclosed that the master of the house had gone for a ride early that morning, and was yet to return. Doctor Russell was busy reading the newspaper and Mrs Annesley was busy with her own post, so Georgiana was left to break her fast in peace.

Georgiana put down her letter and finished her breakfast, idly wondering if Elizabeth Bennet would accept an invitation to spend the day with her. As she withdrew to the music-room, she returned to her brother's letter, studying it this time. He had not written in spirits, but then she would have been surprised if he had. She did not know all of the details, but she knew enough to know that the next few weeks might be the most important of his life. Never before had she seen him in love and she doubted very much that she ever would again. He was not the sort of person who easily believed himself in love, not like Mr Bingley, who seemed to have a new love each time she saw him. Once, when Fitzwilliam had thought her too absorbed in her playing to pay attention to the conversation, she had overheard him telling their cousin Robert that he doubted he would ever find a woman who he could love. Georgiana knew then that if he were ever so lucky to fall in love with someone who desired him that she would do everything in her power to make sure he was happy. At least one of them desired to be happy when it came to matters of the heart.

ooOoo

Bingley paid little attention to his surroundings, his mind focused on one thing. Jane. He was merely killing time until he could go to see her. Ask her to be his wife.

He could see it all: Jane sitting on the window seat in the front parlour of his house in town, looking out at the street as she waited for him to get home. Giving him a secret little smile across the drawing room at an evening party. Sitting next to him at church, her shoulder just touching his. Walking hand-in-hand with his angel on an evening walk. Waking up to her smiling face, still half asleep, first thing in the morning. Her gentleness and her sweetness seeping into every aspect of his daily life, filling his home with a golden warmth. Taking breakfast together each morning, seated next to each other in comfortable, quiet companionship.

He wanted it all. He wanted a life with her.

His mind turned then to what he would say to her. He would of course tell her just how much she meant to him, how much he loved her. How he hoped that she would do him the honour of becoming his wife. That was all fairly simple, but how to begin? How should he get to telling her that he loved her? What if he did not have a chance to speak to her without her family present?

Bingley was so lost in this train of thought that he failed to notice that his horse had wandered towards Longbourn until he looked up to see the Bennet's housekeeper eyeing him expectantly from the open door.

ooOoo

Elizabeth laughed, and Jane looked up from her mending once more to see what had distracted her sister yet again. This time Lizzy had found some old letters and was reading them. She had not been with Lizzy very long, but Elizabeth seemed more interested in remonising rather than sorting her things out.

"Lizzy, we are never going to get all of this sorted out if you don't stop reading everything."

"But that is part of the fun of sorting out this sort of thing- remembering all of the odd things that happened." Elizabeth said as she moved over to show Jane what is was she was looking at. "Look. These letters are from Kitty, when we were in London with my aunt and uncle, just after she turned ten."

Jane sighed and took the letter. Kitty's hand was unsure and uneven as one would expect of a child of ten, especially one who thought a good deal more about dolls and ribbons than her lessons and books. Jane read the letter and laughed at a passage or two, before handing it back to Elizabeth.

"I'll keep that if you don't want to." She offered.

"I have a box for letters that-" Elizabeth was interrupted by Mrs Bennet's flustered voice from downstairs.

"Where are those girls?" There was a slight pause where they could hear someone else reply more quietly, and then Mrs Bennet's voice came again. "Hill, call Miss Bennet and Miss Elizabeth down directly."

Jane stood up quickly and brushed her gown straight as footsteps hurried towards the door. Elizabeth remained where she was on the floor, surrounded by her belongs, carefully putting Kitty's letter away. When Hill entered the room a moment later, she was more than a little out of breath.

"Miss Bennet, Miss Elizabeth." She said as she entered the room, curtsying slightly. "You are needed downstairs. Mr Bingley has come."

"Thank you Hill, we shall be down directly." Elizabeth said with a smile, before turning to address Jane. "I think we have been inside too long today. A walk in the fresh air would be the very thing."

"Lizzy!" Jane warned, not sure what her sister was hinting at, but not trusting her smile.

"I am sure Mr Bingley would be happy to accompany us." Elizabeth's eyes were dancing as they headed out of the room.

ooOoo

They entered the room to find that Mrs Bennet was speaking at length to Mr Bingley. Elizabeth smiled as she watched with pleasure how Mr Bingley's face lit up at the sight of her sister as Jane smiled at him in her gentle way. He stood up hastily as they entered, but, Mrs Bennet was not done speaking. She was telling him about the wedding preparations.

"Mr Collins will be arriving the day before, but he is to stay with the Philips." She smiled slightly. "We shall have such a number of people, my brother and his wife and their children are coming from London. They will stay with us, it will be a little crowded to be sure. But it is such a thing! Lizzy to be married to Mr Collins! It does me good to know that my dear child will one day take my place as mistress of Longbourn." Mrs Bennet paused to take a sip of tea, before continuing in a slightly breathless manner. "The wedding breakfast will be here, of course. I have planned the whole thing. They will spend the wedding night here and then leave for Kent the following morning. Much better than spending the night in a cold inn somewhere on the road."

Mr Bingley opened his month to speak and then closed it again. He glanced at Jane, who had taken a seat near her mother and was sitting silently. Elizabeth could feel her checks flush at the mention of her wedding night, but thankfully no one was looking at her.

"And I am sure, Mrs Bennet, that the wedding will be quite excellent." Mr Bingley said before turning to greet Elizabeth and Jane. They sat in silence for a minute or two. Elizabeth did not feel that it was her place to break it, that duty rested with others. She hoped they would soon before Mrs Bennet began to speak of the wedding again.

At length Mr Bingley suggested that they enjoy the slight improvement in the weather to take a walk in the garden. Elizabeth readily agreed, both to get away from her mother and her continual wedding talk and to give her sister and Mr Bingley some time alone. Lydia and Kitty had left for Meryton not long before, which left Elizabeth, Mary, Jane and Mr Bingley.

Elizabeth walked with Mary while Jane and Mr Bingley walked together, speaking softly with their heads inclined towards one another. There was something different about Mr Bingley today. It was true that he always paid Jane more attention than anyone else, but today, it was as if he could not take his eyes off her.

"Lizzy, do you think it will be very different?" Mary asked her suddenly.

Elizabeth turned her attention back to Mary and asked: "What will be?"

"Father, he-" Mary paused, struggling how to express what was on her mind. "We should turn to the Bible and to God in times like this. But at times like this, I find that it brings me little comfort."

Elizabeth had often heard her younger sister quote from the Bible, or from other religious texts with little emotion unless it was exasperation that she was not being listened to.

Mary continued softly and in a voice that Elizabeth hardly recognised as her sister's, "_Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going.__"_

_Mary had always been the most serious of the girls, even as a child. But there was something in the way she spoke now. She was no longer quoting text, she understand the meaning behind that she was saying. It was no longer just an intellectual exercise, but said with real conviction._

_"Nothing is going to prepare us." Elizabeth was surprised by how steady her voice was. "All we can do is pray and hope he will be well again, however unlikely it may seem. He is going to leave us sooner or later. But we must do everything in our power to make him as comfortable as he can be. What happens after, we will have to face it once it comes. There is no point trying to until then."_

_Mary sighed, "I think you are right."_

_"Let us not think of it. Look at Jane and Mr Bingley." Elizabeth brushed the tears away and smiled through them. "Even through all of this I do not remember a time when I saw her look as well as she does now."_

_Jane and Mr Bingley were standing together by the rose garden still speaking quietly. As they watched, he raised his hand slowly, and brushed a piece of Jane's hair out of her face and gently brushed his fingertips against her check. Jane's head was down and tilted slightly to the side as she looked up at him shyly. As he touched her check he said something which Mary and Elizabeth were too far away to hear. Jane, however, had no problem hearing, and she lifted her face towards him, blushing a slight pink as she smiled__ at him__._

_Elizabeth had seen enough. "Come Mary, I think we should go and see how Charlotte is; it has been an age since I last saw her." Not waiting for an answer she grabbed Mary by the arm and pulled her away from Jane and Mr Bingley, ignoring Mary's complaints as she went._

They did not stay long at the Lucases'; Mary did not visit them with Elizabeth very often and wanted to return home to her book and instrument. Elizabeth enjoyed the visit, although her mind was not at all present. No, her thoughts were with her eldest sister and the young man who she hoped she would soon hereafter be calling her brother.

As they walked towards the house, they saw Jane and Mr Bingley on the path ahead of them so they entered the house a few seconds before Elizabeth and Mary. Mary disappeared upstairs the moment they were inside. Jane was at the other end of the corridor, while Mr Bingley had disappeared from sight. Jane turned when she heard Elizabeth.

"Oh Lizzy." Jane said as she rushed to embrace her sister. Elizabeth felt a release of emotion she did not even realize she had been clinging to as she saw Jane's smile. It reminded her of before her father's illness, when there was still hope that they would have a brother one day to save them.

"He loves me." Jane spoke rather breathlessly as they walked into the breakfast room, since they would be assured to have it to themselves.

"Of course he does, I never doubted it for a moment."

"He has gone to my mother." Jane continued more seriously. "I told him about father. He told me he would have spoken weeks ago, but he was worried that something was wrong and that I would not have accepted him so he waited."

"Is he in any doubt of your affections now?"

Jane laughed, "Why is everyone not as happy as I am? Oh Lizzy, if only I could see you as happy. I must go to my father. He would want to hear it from me before Mama tells everyone in the house. He wanted to go to Papa himself, but I said he is still ill. That he can speak to him this evening.

_Author's notes – I think this is the first happy chapter I have written, strange! Consider this an apology for the delay in posting._

_I watched the latest Emma fairly recently, it is really good. I think it is the best Emma I have seen, I am not normally too much of a fan of Emma, but I think this movie may have changed that a bit. You should watch it, if you haven't already. She made me like her, all of the other Emma haven't __quite worked for me._


	26. A Most Beloved Father

**Chapter XXVI – A Most Beloved Father**

_Our life is a faint tracing on the surface of mystery._

_- Annie Dillard _

Elizabeth did not leave his side that fateful night. His breathing was heavy and laboured. But she draw comfort to know that he still lived. There was very little of him left now, his skin ghostly white, apart from the dark rings around his sunken eyes.

She slipped into a fitful sleep in the early hours of morning, when she woke the room was silent, cold and still. Jane was curled up fast asleep in a chair, next to the fire that had long since burned out. Doctor Russell, was likewise fast asleep on the other side of the fireplace. Elizabeth looked for a moment at her sister's face. Not daring to look at her father's face just yet, for fear of what she might see there. Outside the window the garden was calm and quiet, it was very early, the first rays of pale predawn light were being to glimmer about the roof of the church. Off in the distance a dog barked, to Elizabeth it sounded mournfully. It was going to be a beautiful day, but not for anyone in the Bennet household.

There was no sound coming from her father. The room was utterly quiet, she felt a peace she had not expected. The last few days had been raw with emotion, yesterday should have been her wedding day. Today should have been her first day as a new bride. The emptiness of the activity around the wedding seemed meaningless, completely meaningless. It was completely overshadowed by her father. She hardly even noticed that she was still in her wedding clothes.

She draw a deep breath as if to gather her courage, she looked down at his hand, which she was still holding, was cold and stiff. She took another breath, readying herself for the sight which must surely meet her as she moved her eyes up to his face. The face of her beloved father.

He looked more peaceful then she had thought he would. Like he was merely asleep. His eyes were closed, there was no sign of pain, that had plagued him for so many weeks now, on his weathered face. She smiled at him, blinking back the tears. She knew how she should be feeling. She had feared this moment more than any other, but no it was here, she was relieved, not that he had died. No, not that he was gone, she would never be relieved about that, but that he would not be in agony any-longer. He was at peace at long least. Free from the cares of this world. In a way she almost envied him that.

She become aware that there was someone else sitting with her on the bed. They took her other hand in theirs and simply held it. It was a while before she could take her eyes away from her father's face. She would never hear his voice again, he would never smile at her again, or hug her. Protect her from her mother when they had had a fight. The tears were flowing silently down her checks more freely, she did not try and stop them. She could imagine him scolding her, teasing her for being so silly. Acting more like Jane or Kitty, he would say and not like his Lizzy. That he was not worth her crying over. But, there he was wrong. He was, as dear a father as she could have wished for.

She turned to see who was next to her, expecting Jane. But it was Mr Darcy. He had just been sitting there with her, not saying a word. There was concern written all over his face and such an expression in his eyes that she could not mistake the meaning, nor could she ignore the emotions within her. She had been trying to ignore how she felt about him for weeks now. But it was not the time to speak about such things now, there would be time later. Right now, all that matter was her father.

She could contain the grief within her no longer, she broke down completely. She felt him wrap his arms around her, pulling her towards him, whispers words of comfort and support. She cared not who saw them at that moment. All she knew was that her most beloved father was died and there was nothing in this world which would bring him back to her.

She cried into his shirt. What seemed like an age later she realised that he was trying to get her attention. "Elizabeth. Your mother and sisters, they must be told."

He was right of course. She nodded silently brushing the tears away from her face with the back of her hand. Glancing over at her sister and Doctor Russell who were still asleep.

"It doesn't seem right to wake her." She said quietly.

"It has to be done, and soon."

"I know."

They sat in silence for a minute or two, before she said, "he looks so peaceful."

"He does."

"At least he isn't in pain any-more."

"He was a great man. He will always be with you, he loved you so. Any man could see that."

She smiled slightly, although there was no mirth in it. "I'm glad that you are here."

She got to her feet, a little clumsily as one of her legs had gone to sleep, Mr Darcy steadying her slightly. He released her a little reluctantly, as if realising that he would not be able to comfort her once the rest of the family were aware what had happened.

"Would you mind waking Doctor Russell." She asked quietly.

Mr Darcy nodded, stood and did as she asked. She stood by her sister's side. Doctor Russell was awaken within a moment, he taking in at a glance their serious faces and then went to his patient.

"Jane, dear Jane," Elizabeth gently woke her sister. Jane woke more slowly than Doctor Russell had, but when she saw Elizabeth's face all trances of sleep disappeared at once.

"Is he-" Jane was unable to complete the question.

Doctor Russell turned to face them as he answered her. "I'm very sorry Miss Bennet, your father has left us."

Jane stood staring at him, unable to comprehend what it was he was saying. Elizabeth stood beside her, tears beginning to flow freely again.

"No, it can't be," Jane said shaking her head, "you must be mistaken."

Elizabeth wrapped her arms around her sister as she began to cry.

ooOoo

Darcy stood helpless as he watched Elizabeth try and comfort her older sister. He knew the pain she was going through herself and marveled that she had the strength to put aside her own pain and grief to support and ease that of her sister.

Doctor Russell turned to Darcy, "If you would accompany me sir, I must inform the rest of the family."

Darcy glanced back at Elizabeth and her sister. Doctor Russell noticed his hesitation, "They will be alright. They have each other, they will give each other strength."

He caught her eye over the top of her sister's head. Jane Bennet had hidden her face as Elizabeth held her comforting her, as he had been for her, not a sound come from Jane. Elizabeth smiled sadly at him, understanding his hesitance, but giving him leave to go.

The reaction to the news from the rest of the Bennet family was mix. Doctor Russell found them all gathered in sitting room, the younger girls still in their night things and dressing gowns. They were curled up in chairs, and seemed to be sleeping. Mr Collins sitting in the corner, Mr Bingley beside Mrs Bennet. Mr Bingley woke first, and after a whisper conversation with Darcy, went to find Miss Bennet. Leaving the others to explain to the rest.

Once the family had been woken Doctor Russell broke the news to them. Doctor Russell was very attentive and polite. Mr Bennet, he said, had not suffered in the end, he had been asleep when he had died. There had been nothing least he could have done for him. Darcy mind drifted back to when the news of his own father's death had reached him. Doctor Cornell had gone to London himself to tell him, Doctor Russell, who had been Mr Russell in those days was still training and had gone with the Doctor.

He had not believed them at first, he thought it was a poor joke that he had not got. That they would start laughing any moment, however, they hadn't. Doctor Jones had left him then, and it was left to Mr Russell. He had been very angry, and had said many things that he now very much regretted.

Mrs Bennet was silent, he had expected her to scream and wale. Mary Bennet left the room as soon she could as she slipped passed, he could see she was crying, although she tried to hide her face from him. Catherine, no Kitty as they called her, went to her mother's side instantly taking her hand silently blinking back tears. The youngest, Lydia had buried her face into a cushion and was wailing loudly in a corner. Mr Collins sat quite still, his face white as a sheet.

He did not remain long in the house, he felt like an intruder into a very private family moment, merely informed Mrs Bennet that he was very sorry for their lose and that if they needed anything at all they had merely to sent him word and he would do everything in his power to bring it about.

Bingley echoed these offers, but both gentlemen felt that they had out stayed their welcome and it was time for them to withdraw. As much as he wanted to remain with Elizabeth during this difficult time he knew she needed time. At least Bingley had a claim on Miss Bennet, and would be able to return. He, Darcy, was not so lucky.

ooOoo

The day passed as such days do, in a turmoil of activity and grief. Those in the house, divided into the silent and busy grieving and the loud and unable to function grieving. Lydia had locked herself in her room, Kitty and Jane spend the better part of two hours trying to get her to come and eat something. While Mrs Bennet had broken down several hours after Doctor Russell had told her to news, she had started ranting about how could he have done this to her. Left her with five unmarried daughters, even if the eldest two were engaged. Elizabeth's wedding was completely ruined. What would happen now if Mr Collins didn't marry her? Had Mr Bennet no regard for her feelings, Show was she to cope without him? What was she to do without him? Elizabeth and Mary quickly removed their mother to her room, away from Mr Collins and Doctor Russell and gave her some tea that would help calm her.

Neither Mr Bingley nor Mr Darcy returned to Longbourn that day, although a note did arrive for Jane later that afternoon. Mr Collins, had disappeared for most of the day. He returned just as Lizzy was coming down from her mother's room, with a hardly touched tea-tray.

"Elizabeth, allow me to assist you with that." He said taking the tray from her.

She curtseyed polity, "thank you Mr Collins. You are most kind."

He take the tray from her, setting it down on the hall table and took her cold hands in his. "Elizabeth, my dear. Surely you can call me William?" He smiled at her, pulling her closer until he was almost whispering in her ear. "We should have been married yesterday, and leaving to go Hunsford this morning as a _wedded_ couple." He kissed her, gently, if a little stiffly on the check.

"Please Mr Collins, William if you prefer, I would rather-" She was provided finishing her sentence by Mr Collins interrupting.

"I do my dear. We are man and _wife._ And since your father's untimely death, Longbourn passes to me. But that his death had been delayed a day. Then we would be happily married now. But alas, as Lady Catherine herself has often said, at time such as these, the best thing is not to delay longer than necessary."

"Longer than necessary?" Elizabeth repeated, not sure if he was referring to taking possession of Longbourn or to something else.

"Yes, I already have everything confirmed with Mr Tomas. Its all quite settled."

"I am very glad, _Sir_, that Mr Thomas has been so helpful. May I inquire what is settled?"

"Your father's funereal will take place tomorrow, and we will be wed the day after that. Which means we can return to Hunsford, for perhaps this year. I believe you could not fail to benefit from Lady Catherine's influence. After a year, god willing we will have a child of our own. And we should return to Longbourn. That should give your mother and remain sisters enough time to have found accommodation elsewhere. Cousin Jane will be married by then. Cousin Mary might be useful in attending to the children, so we might consider asking her to stay. Your Mother and the youngest two can stay with Mr and Mrs Philips or the Gardeners. We need not be concerned for them."

Her blood ran cold as he began this speak, however, by the time he had finished her blood was boiling.

_Author's notes – No, I have not lost what few marbles I have left. This chapter has been written for quite a long time, and I felt it was about time to mix the timeline up slightly. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed etc. _

_Please let me know what your thoughts are. Is Elizabeth going to be able get rid of Mr Collins, will he escape with his head in one piece? How is Darcy going to deal with seeing Mr Collins taking liberties with Elizabeth?_


	27. The Darkest Day

**Chapter XXVII – The Darkest Day**

"_When the sun has set, no candle can replace it."  
― George R.R. Martin _

The day of Elizabeth's wedding dawned as Darcy knew it must, and if it had reflected his mood it would have been storming, rather than a chilly yet dry morning. He opened his window a little to breath the fresh air, there was not a breathe of wind, it was a completely still morning. It was as if the world had stopped moving. As if time itself stand still in horror of what the day was to bring. He could see some servants moving around below by the stables. They were completely silent. Or maybe he could just could not hear them.

She had begged him, only the day before, to go back to London. But he had disregarded her. He had seen the fear in her eyes and knew that if he had seen a man treat her in the way that he just had he would have killed him then and there. He had never thought himself capable to behave in such a matter. To behave like a common rake, like Wickham. But he knew he had only been moments away – no, he would not think about it. He had stopped himself before it was too late. Which is more than someone like Wickham would have done. Not that he could forgive his behaviour, no he would never be able to forgive himself, but he could do better.

He knew that he would regret being at the wedding in the years to come, being present on the day that the woman he loved, married another man and then later that night became his wife in more than just name. But imagining it from afar would be even worse. He would hope that somehow the marriage had been prevented and then later to see Mr Collins and his new bride at Rosings Park. It would be too much! It was all too much! It mattered not where he was, if he did not witness the union that he would always live in hope, if was only witness that moment, the moment where Mr Collins and Elizabeth Bennet were united that he be would satisfied that it had actually taken place. He had decided to be there. And that was all that matter. If he did not see it with his own eyes he would not believe it to be true. It would leave him a broken man, but that he had realised was unavoidable if Elizabeth married anyone other than himself.

It would be his eternal punishment. For letting his pride run unchecked. For allowing his prejudice to prevent him from action before it was too late. It seemed a fitting punishment for his crimes.

He would continue to do what he could for her and her family. Georgiana's friendship with Elizabeth made that a little easier. And it would be made easier still when Bingley married her sister in two months. Although it was only 6 o'clock in the morning, he poured himself a glass of port and drained the glass. It was a very fine port, but he could not taste it. It was as if all beauty, all enjoyment in the world was lost to him.

He poured himself another and drained the glass again. He would need it to fortify him for the day ahead. Not that drinking this early in the morning had become uncommon, it has becomes an necessity to dull the pain.

ooOoo

Elizabeth had not slept very well. As was to be expected with most brides, she found that she was struggling to fall asleep. However, the reason was not the same as most brides on the night before their wedding day.

An hour or two before dawn, she abandoned the pretends of getting any more sleep and left her chamber. She lit a candle and went to her father's room and to sit quietly by his bed. She opened the door gently, hoping to find him asleep. The room was silent, but for the laboured sound of his breathing. The candle light flicked in the slight breath of air that played through his room. Mrs Bennet had had a fit when she found the window open earlier that day. Mr Bennet had insisted. He would never be able to leave Longbourn again, never again walk through the garden with his children. Ride out to visit a tenant. But he could have some fresh air.

"Elizabeth?" Mr Bennet's voice was low and dry.

"I'm here Papa." She slipped into the chair next to the bed.

"You should be asleep child, you'll need your strength to get through this day."

Elizabeth smiled weakly, and took his cold hand in hers. "It will not be that bad, Mama will soon have a daughter married and very soon two."

"My dearest child, will you not think better of continuing with this marriage?"

"Oh Papa!" Elizabeth spoke gently, "we have spoken about this at least a dozen times. I am quite resolved. Let us not speak of it now."

"Is there something else you would rather spoke of Lizzy?"

She smiled sweetly and picked up the book Mary had been reading to him the evening before. Elizabeth did not spend too much longer in her father's room, quite soon the effect of speaking and paying attention had made him grow tired and she left him to sleep. Instead of returning to her room, were her wedding dress was waiting for her to become the bride she neither felt like or wanted to me, so fled, for perhaps the last time, out into the garden. For the peace and quiet at only the early morning can bring.

No one else was around, it was the peace she craved. She was about to continue down her normal path when she hesitated for a moment, remembering that she had meet Mr Darcy yesterday morning on that path. Instead she turned into the path of the other side that would take her by way of the stream. She was of no mind to bump into him again this morning, not after what had happened yesterday.

She would have little idea how different things would have been if she had gone on her normal route that morning.

ooOoo

"Mr Colin!" Elizabeth's said quietly, it was the morning before her wedding day, the Bennets had just finished their breakfast, Elizabeth had been luckily enough to catch sight of Mr Colin who had arrive to visit his dearest Elizabeth for the last time before claiming her as his lawful wife.

"Please forgive me Jane, but I cannot speak to him now." It was the last day were she would be able to escape, for tomorrow Elizabeth Bennet would no longer existent, but leave a strange creature, Elizabeth Collins in her place.

Jane murmured that she would speak to him, as her sister fled for the door.

"Miss Lizzy do not be so silly," Mrs Bennet chided her crossly, "you will not be able to hide behind your sister, when you are Mrs Collins and living in Hunsford. There will only be the two of you until you have a child."

Her mother's voice followed her as she dashed upstairs to get her bonnet and shawl before running outside into her favour path away from the house, Mrs Bennet and most importantly Mr Collins.

Soon her feet had carried her far enough away from the house that she could not longer see Longbourn. When a sigh she turned to look back the path, she was sad to be leaving her home, the places she had played as a child. The friends who she had known since she was born, of course she would write to them and they her, but it would not be the same. Her entire life was about to change. And of course she would miss her father, tomorrow would likely be the last day she would ever see him.

"Good morning Miss Bennet." a voice said from behind her. Elizabeth jumped, she thought she was alone. She didn't need to turn around to know who it was. She had imagined his voice more than she cared to think about, although she had thought he was still in London. Slowly she turned around and curtsied slightly.

"Mr Darcy. I thought you were still in town?" She said, with as little emotion as she could.

He was sitting on a large horse, which he dismounted. Holding the reins and whip in one hand, his hat in the other. He dropped the hat and offered her his arm. Elizabeth regarded him, without moving towards him. Seeing that she was unmoved by his offered arm, he spoke.

"I found that I was unable to stay away."

Elizabeth turned to walk away when she was stopped by holding gently onto her arm. She turned back to object, but meeting his eyes she was suddenly very scared. There was a depth emotion there, a sadness, a desperation she was not prepared for. It mirrored her own.

"Please Mr Darcy, let me go." She pleaded, tears in her eyes. "No good can come from this. Go back to London."

"I can't do that." He moved closer to her, so close that she could smell the port on his breathe.

"And why not? You are you own master, you can go where you want and do what you want." She knew she should not say it, but she could not help it.

"But I am not. Do you not see? There is a hold over me that I cannot undo. No matter how I tried. It is stronger than I am, and I must do what it commands, not matter the cost."

"The cost is too great, Mr Darcy. There is no way out. The path lies before us both." She said as she tried to pull her arm loose, but he had it in a tight grip. "We have no choice to walk it."

He tighten his grip, as if she was slipping away from her, he was really beginning to hurt her, she cried out in pain, unable to prevent herself.

He released her, turning his back to her. Elizabeth could hardly believe what had just accorded. She knew she should run, he was strong then her and there was no telling what he could in his current state. As she turned to run, his voice stopped her, it was calmer than before. "May I offer my congratulations, you wish you all of the happy in the world?"

She looked back and saw that he had turned to face her again, tears visible on his face, but his voice was steady.

"Thank you." She managed to say, not trusting her own voice.

"Good day Miss Bennet." He said, before remounting his horse and running off at a brisk pace. His hat still lying on the ground where he had dropped it. Elizabeth stared after him for a moment before returning to the grounds of Longbourn, although she did not return to the house for over two hours.

ooOoo

Elizabeth was walking for over an hour before she decided she could not put off returning to the house. Regretfully she entered the house for the last time as a Bennet.

Mrs Bennet was in a fluster, "Lizzy there you are. We have been looking for you. I was worried you would not be back in time to get ready." She shepherded Elizabeth upstairs, "Hill, get Sarah to do Miss Elizabeth's hair and help her on with her gown." Mary and Jane were all already dressed, Kitty and Lydia could be heard in their room fighting about who would wear a locket. They were all to be bride's maids.

Jane smiled as reassuringly as she could, as Elizabeth was ushered pasted her by Mrs Bennet, who had not stopped talking. "What would we have done? Mr Collins will be at the church in an hour. If Mr Bennet should die before you are married, what would become of us?"

Mrs Bennet paused for breath, as Sarah brought out Elizabeth's wedding gown and draped it across the bed. The light blue silk glittering slightly in the morning light. Elizabeth glanced around her room, which looked so unlike the room that she knew, everything was tidy, her trunks packed and ready to go. Jane had always been the tidier of the two, and now her few things that were still out looked lonely and lost with Elizabeth's odds and ends. The bookcase by the window was more than half empty. Jane had rearranged some of her things to make the room seem less empty. There were fresh flowers on the table next to the bed.

"I think we made the right choice with the silk and this excellent lace my sister Gardener suggested. Of course you will never be has handsome as dear Jane, engaged to Mr Bingley, such a fine thing. But you will look very well indeed. Good enough for Mr Collins to be sure."

Elizabeth tried not to think about what waited just ahead for her. She would take this one step at a time. She could get dressed, she had done it plenty enough times for balls and parties. This would be no different. Yes her gown was finer than she had worn before, but not so much so that she would not be able to pretend, at least for a little while.

Elizabeth washed quickly, not wanted to take longer than she would normally. As she came out from behind the screen drying her hair, Mrs Bennet started fussing even more. Sarah and Jane help Elizabeth to get into her gown.

"Lizzy child, sit up straight. You have a pleasing figure and you will crease your gown is you continue is sit like that."

Jane had collected tiny little flowers to go in her dark hair, blue and white. While Lydia and Kitty had spent some time yesterday preparing little green ribbons to weave in and out of her hair. Any other day Elizabeth would have smiled at her reflection in the mirror and her hair was done. But today she just did not feel like it.

"You look very well." Jane said gently to her.

"Indeed," Mrs Bennet smiled at her second eldest daughter. "I am sure Mr Collins will be very happy with you. Come on child, let us get you to the church. Mrs Collins, how well that sounds."

ooOoo

Georgiana was uncomfortable. Her darling brother, Fitzwilliam was in a very bad mood, this just course. And most out of character, she could smell how much he had already had to drink and they had just risen.

She was worried he was planning to do something to disrupt the wedding, which she half hoped that he would and that it would be successful and half hoped that he would do nothing on the kind. She had never seen him like this before and hoped never to see him like this again.

She knew he had been planning something while he was in London, but that it had not worked. She thought it had something to do with Aunt Catherine, but she was not sure of the details. All she knew was that he had arrived the day before yesterday in a foul mood which had only got worse as the wedding draw closer.

She had begged him only last night to return to London, to not witness an event that could bring him nothing but pain. He had laughed and said that he would not believe it had happened unless he witnessed it with his own eyes. He would not be reasoned with.

Miss Bingley was speaking, she had been for a while. But Georgiana had no idea what it was she had been saying. She slowly became aware that Miss Bingley was looking at her expectantly, as if waiting for her to say something.

Saying that the only she could think of that would not betray her lack of attention, Georgiana forced her attention back to Miss Bingley. "I completely agree with you."

Miss Bingley smiled broadly, "I knew you would agree with me. And I am sure that after dear Jane has spent a season in town she will also think so."

"Indeed, how could she think otherwise?" Mrs Hurst said with a laugh.

Just then a servant arrived to announce that the carriage was ready for them.

Mr Hurst led, his wife and sister-in-law out of the room, leaving Georgiana to follow behind. Mr Bingley met them in the hall. Of Fitzwilliam, there was no sign. Georgiana glanced at Mr Bingley, who was checking his watch, and then at Doctor Russell who was watching her. He stepped towards her, and whispered. "He went out ridding. Hopefully he will stay there. Come Miss Darcy, the carriage awaits."

ooOoo

Darcy had gone out for a ride, to clear his head. Or at least that is what he told himself, it was strange chance than that his horse led him to the very spot where he had seen her last. She was not there, he dismounted and walked for a while.

Hoping that she would only be a little further down the path. Maybe she had not gone so far from Longbourn this morning. The fresh air was making his head hurt more than he had thought it would.

He was almost in sight of the house when he heard footsteps from behind him.

"Elizabeth?" He called, hoping that it would be her.

He could imagine the scene playing out before him, she would have been running away from the house, from her would-be husband Mr Collins. She would pause for a moment to look back at her childhood home. Then turn away from that life and head bravely into the unknown. She would not be looking for him, her mind only focused on escaping from the cruel fate that awaited her in Longbourn Church.

She would hear him calling her name, cry "Fitzwilliam" in return. She would rush forward, and see him standing there. She would hesitate for a second and then rush into his arms. They would leave Hertfordshire that very morning, and be married before the end of the day.

His was brought abruptly back to reality by a voice.

"Mr Darcy!"

_**Author's notes – **__Wedding dresses were not always white during this period, no matter how many fics will tell you otherwise. Dresses were quite simply the best dress that the family could buy or owned. White and lighter colours were more popular as they were harder to clean, so it was a sign of how much money you had. As they would not last as long as darker dresses. White wedding dresses only became a thing during the Victorian era, which was also when they started signifying purity. It is strange that it is still a thing today. Since so few people look good in white._


	28. Mr Collins' Bride

**Chapter XXVIII – Mr Collins' Bride**

"_I am two fools, I know,  
For loving, and for saying so."  
― _John Donne

His was brought abruptly back to reality by a voice.

"Mr Darcy."

He frozen, his mind still filled with his fantasy. That was not her voice. Hers was much sweeter voice, this was deep and yet somehow familiar. He turned slowly.

"What are you doing here?" George Wickham laughing said. "Waiting here to steal away the bride are you?"

Darcy knew that he had made a grave mistake.

"She's quite the tease you know." Wickham continued, unconcerned that he had received no reply.

ooOoo

Elizabeth had walked out of Longbourn for the last time as one of the Miss Bennets. When she returned for the wedding breakfast she would be Mrs Collins. She had step into the carriage and even sat up tolerably straight to try and silent her mother, who would go on and on.

"Who has been in the garden, all of those bushes have been flatted over that." Mrs Bennet complained loud as she entered the carriage. "Hill, get one of the stable boys to sort out the bushes over there. John will do.

What on earth has been happening in those bushing. Completely flatten. You'd think we weren't having a wedding today for all the concern there seems to be about it. Lizzy over here scowling like that. Mr Collins will never marry you with that expression. Smile a little. Oh, Mrs Collins, it is such a well sounding name."

Jane got in and sat next to Elizabeth, taking her hand silently as they listened to Mrs Bennet as she started complaining about the trouble the wedding breakfast had been as the carriage pulled away from Longbourn House and headed for the church.

ooOoo

"I don't know what you are speaking about." Darcy said, trying to look for his horse without letting Wickham know what he was doing.

Wickham came closer, and lowered his voice. "Do you not. Here I thought you were looking for a lovely and of so temping Miss Elizabeth Bennet."

Darcy tried not to pay Wickham any heed, but that was easier said than done. As Wickham, still laughing said: "Don't pretend you have thought about it Darcy. I know you have, not that I blame you. I doubt there are many men who haven't. She will be more than happy to go to keep anyone's bed warm after she has had to go to bed with that little toad. She might even let you have a go."

Darcy was never able to full explain what happened next. How Wickham ended up on the ground or how he broke his nose. The black-eye, even the flatten bushes were a complete mystery.

ooOoo

Mr Bennet had dressed very slowly that morning. It had been a long time since he had actual dressed and been downstairs. Putting a shirt on was a very slow operation. Not to mention painful. His man, Jones, was concerned and tried as tactfully as possible to suggest that the young lady would be happier if he was safe in bed, rather then straining himself.

Mr Bennet sighed, he knew Jones was right. But if he was not going to live much longer, he would be at Lizzy's wedding. Even if it was not the life he had hoped she would have. She was saving her family, she was paying the price for his lacks as a father and as a husband. Who should pay the price but himself. It was his doing. He could still ended it, his daughter deserved better than Mr Collins. Jane was to be married, yes he would most likely not live to see her married. But she was determined, and it was too late for that. She had mind up her mind, and if he ended things now she would be forced to bare the brunt of it. While he spilt into the next world, hardly any the wiser.

Finally he was ready, he viewed his reflection in the mirror for a moment or two. The person looking back at him was a familiar stranger. The dark eyes, the sunken skin, the yellowing of the eyes.

"Well Jones, I think we have done as well as anyone could with what we have to work with." he said after a moment. As he adjusted his cravat one last time.

"Yes sir." was the polite as always response.

ooOoo

Mrs Bennet descended from the carriage first and headed towards the church, to take her place and make sure everything was ready. Elizabeth was in no particular hurry. She knew that it was point less to delay, and she had made her peace. At least as much as could be expected. But she was still in no hurry.

Let him wait a little, it will do him good. She thought as she arranged and rearranged the skirt of her dress. Running her fingers through it and feeling the fabric. Smooth and cool.

Kitty was making sure her dress was not too rumpled while Lydia was trying to she who was in the church. "Oh look, Denny is near the front."

"And Aunt Philips." Kitty remarked as Elizabeth made her way, with the help of a footman down from the carriage. Mr Bennet was standing close by, lending heavier on his valet.

"Mr Bingley looks very smart today." Lydia said to Jane, who blushed. "But it looks like he brought that disagreeable friend with him and his sister. I thought have thought he'd left that at home?"

Elizabeth turned sharply, to see that Lydia was indeed right. Sitting next to Mr Bingley was Mr Darcy. With a rather sour expression on his face and next time him sat Miss Darcy, looking more nervous and uncomfortable.

Elizabeth turned away from her sisters for a moment to try and regain a little composure, Why was he here, had she not made herself clear enough the day before? How was she to walk down the aisle on her father's arm, with Mr Darcy sitting right there?

At that moment Jane appeared by her side, looking concerned. Elizabeth could not help but smile in a reassuring way. And hardly a moment later the music started and her father who had been walking slowly towards her offered her his arm.

"Are you ready for this my dear?"

She smiled at him, not willing to lie to him, but always not willing to express what they were both feeling. He returned the smile in a non-sort of committal way and kissed her on the check.

"I hope you will be very happy my Lizzy, what ever life has planned for you." He said before walking forward towards were Mr Collins was waiting for his bride.

ooOoo

Darcy will never, as long as he lives, forget what happened next. His head was reminding him that he should not have drunk as much as he did the night before. But he was wishing he had drunk more and was not awake for this. He cruised himself for deciding he had to be here, at the wedding. Hope any hope would have been better than watch her married to another man. He was sure he would be reliving the next few minutes in his nightmares for the rest of his life. Only there would be no awakening from it.

As the music began, Bingley and Georgiana raise to their feet, he followed suit a second or two later. And turned to see the bride entering the church on her father's arm. Her sisters following behind. Mr Bennet was not too steady on his feet, and seemed to be leaning heavily on his second eldest daughter.

Elizabeth, who was looking nowhere in particular, and particularly not at him, seemed to be half supporting half carrying her father. She had a determined expression, the sunlight dancing in her hair. Darcy thought she had never looked more beautiful and never so far beyond his reach.

They seemed to take an age to walk down the aisle. They were about level with him, when it happened. Mr Bennet had been lending more an more on Elizabeth, until she seemed to be half carrying him.

Darcy was moving and by her side trying to support Mr Bennet's weight before he released he had left Georgiana's side. Mr Bennet was barely breathing, his skin white and his eyes rolling in his head. It took the rest of the people in the church a few seconds to release anything was wrong. But they had not been paying such close attention to Elizabeth and her father as he had.

ooOoo

As if underwater, sounds came to Elizabeth strange and disjointed. Her dear father, who had been leaning on her more and more had entirely collapsed and Mr Darcy had leapt forward to catch him. For which she was grateful. She would not have been able to support him on her own.

Around her chaos had descended, Mrs Bennet wailing, Mr Collins speaking solemnly to anyone who would listen or instead stand still near him. Kitty and Lydia crying loudly. Only Mr Darcy seemed to have any idea what to do.

He was calling for Mr Bingley to help him support Mr Bennet and someone else to get the carriage to the front of the church. Then more gentlely, to her, asked her to speak to her father to let him know that she was there. To reassure him.

_**Author's notes – **__Ok, I was going to write a little more, but the t tile has fallen off my keyboard. _

_Its been nearly a year and what a crazy one it has been. Hopefully this one will be calmer. Things that have happened, work continues, still loving it. The department I manage has grown to 15 and will increase to 25 in the next 6 months, we have had to move offices since the company as a whole has outgrown the old ones. I give us until the end of the year until we need to more again. Mandela died. Which we all know was coming, he has not been seen in public since 2010. All very sad though. But hopefully gives us a chance to remember what an amazing man he was and do better for the country as a whole than has been done since his term ended. South Africa is hopefully going to be going through some political change in the next few years and we will actually get someone with an actual ability to govern come into power. _

_I'm a year older then when I wrote last, having had my birthday last month. Hopefully a year wiser as well. My kindle, is the other major reason I have not been writing as much. Its so temping to buy books. I blame Amazon. Oh yes, my husband and myself are going on our first oversea holiday since well ever really. Well that is an actually holiday that we are paying for. We are off to Rome in August. I can't wait._

_I did do a little bit of writing last year, but it was only a tiny 10 person LARP, way way too small. Not enough characters to have enough interesting plot floating around. That is the cool thing about a LARP that you don't get in most other stories, every character is a main character. And needs to have enough plot to actually write a book about. While books just have a few main characters or one and the other characters don't have their own lives and roles. Makes a huge difference. Ok, I think that is enough ramblings for one night._

_As always I sorry about the delay, really hope you enjoyed this last chapter and will try to make sure that the next one will not be as long. And reviews are an excellent way to make me feel guilty and write, just saying._


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